Print Story Watchmen Movie
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By cam (Mon Dec 21, 2009 at 07:46:01 PM EST) (all tags)
goats balls, blows, all one phrase describe it.


Watched the second half in fast forward as it was so slow, lame, boring, over-solliliquized, and had action scenes that made little to no sense. It had more flashbacks than a family guy episode.

If I am watching a super hero movie, then I dont need to know why the blue guy who can teleport became what he is or why he does what he does. He is blue, has a digital penis that is never erect and teleports stuff around. That is super-hero-ey enough for me.

It seemed the main theme was sociopathy. The pretty blonde guy turned out to be a sociopath and the blue guy was not. The comedian guy was and worked out what the blonde guy sociopath was doing, while the other sociopath, Rorschat, came close and in the end had to be killed. The lame asses were the woman and the nerd guy.

So it seemed they were making the point that only sociopaths knwo humanity well enough to recognize sociopathy, but also to see through the deceit of morality and how humanity tricks itself into think peace is possible. They know the worst passions of man, and only socipaths can therefor bring out the best passions.

Movie was lame as hell, as was the theme/storyline. I give it -2 dolph lundgrens.

< Now I have truly seen it all. | I'm sore and stuff. >
Watchmen Movie | 16 comments (16 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
Watchmen by ucblockhead (4.00 / 1) #1 Mon Dec 21, 2009 at 07:56:21 PM EST
The trouble with the movie was that it was too concerned with not diverging from the comic.  Unfortunately, what works well in comics, fails in film.

You picked up on the right thing, but didn't quite go far enough...the point of the comic is to show what a "superhero" would be really like:

Dr. Manhattan is the ultra-powerful immortal who because of this becomes disconnected from humanity.

Night Owl is the Batman like recluse who we see as driven by an essential pathetic nature.

The Comedian is the hero as male power-trip fantasy.

Rorshack is hero as revenge fantasy and conservative wish-fulfillment.

And Ozymandas is the ultimate behind the scenes ends justify the means do-gooder.

All those figures existed in superhero comics, and Moore, through The Watchmen, showed how vacant they all were.

Worked in text, failed in film, mostly because in the book you could get away with something where the closest thing to a good guy is more pathetic than heroic.
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[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman

Nah. by NoMoreNicksLeft (2.00 / 0) #2 Mon Dec 21, 2009 at 10:41:09 PM EST
The pathetic guy wasn't the closest thing. Of all the characters in the comic book, only Rorshach comes even close to being remotely human. When he's calling his landlady a whore, she begs him "don't say that in front of my children", and he relents.

The only compassion shown in the whole damn book. Everyone else was 50 orders of magnitude more sociopathic than he was. And that's saying something.

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Do not look directly into laser with remaining good eye.
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Also by yicky yacky (2.00 / 0) #4 Tue Dec 22, 2009 at 06:41:48 AM EST

Film is an art form. Comics are a different art form. One of the things that makes Moore's stuff so good -- not the psychology, nor the plot, nor the moralizing, nor any of the 'meta'-level elements (which themselves can be pretentious and didactic at times) -- is simply the visceral experience of how well and imaginatively he uses the form itself.

Translating that stuff to screen is utterly futile, as what he does best is make the comic excel at doing exactly the stuff that only a comic can really do.

That, and Zach Snyder's a talentless, irony-lacking hack of a prick.


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Vacuity abhors a vacuum.
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plus by StackyMcRacky (2.00 / 0) #6 Tue Dec 22, 2009 at 09:43:51 AM EST
too much was left out for the movie to make a lot of sense.  if the movie was the first time i'd been introduced, i would have been lost. 

the movie just felt so shallow compared to the book.

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I've heard this a lot. by nightflameblue (2.00 / 0) #8 Tue Dec 22, 2009 at 11:40:19 AM EST
Yet I, nor Mrs. NFB have never read the book (I know, I KNOW). We loved the movie. I think there's a lot of comic fan butthurts being expressed over this movie. Yet the biggest comic nerd in all of nerdom, Kevin Smith, is so in love with it he's practically tied it up in his basement.

I think somewhere along the lines I became completely disconnected from people who are into movies. I like things I'm not supposed to, and hate things I'm supposed to like. Except for some that all can agree are complete shit. *COUGH*TF2*COUGH*



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i have been waiting for your review of that movie by StackyMcRacky (2.00 / 0) #9 Tue Dec 22, 2009 at 03:02:23 PM EST
I should also point out that I'm kind of slow on picking up some concepts when I watch a movie or even read some books, so the movie would have failed it for me.  I found the book to be SO amazingly rich, I don't see how it all could be in a single movie (and it wasn't!  they did the pirate storyline in a separate release)

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TF2? by nightflameblue (2.00 / 0) #10 Tue Dec 22, 2009 at 04:50:51 PM EST
I had my review some months back after I'd seen it a couple times. Basic review was TF2=TF1 - plot + budget + butt humor. Something like that. Took the one property I was genuinely excited about and turned it into a movie I likely won't even own on DVD/BluRay.

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hrm. i missed that by StackyMcRacky (2.00 / 0) #12 Wed Dec 23, 2009 at 09:13:31 AM EST
or my sleep deprived brain just doesn't remember.

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It was pretty brief. by nightflameblue (2.00 / 0) #13 Wed Dec 23, 2009 at 11:13:57 AM EST
I tend not to write much about the TF movies because I don't want to come across like a ranting idiot fanboy. I'm not really angry about it, just disappointed. Such potential, utterly wasted.

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You downloaded a bad Torrent. by ammoniacal (2.00 / 0) #3 Tue Dec 22, 2009 at 12:45:19 AM EST
Doesn't sound like the version we saw. Did you confirm the checksum?

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

-2 Dolph Lundgrens by lm (4.00 / 2) #5 Tue Dec 22, 2009 at 07:01:21 AM EST
Despite all your harsh words, it appears that you've given the movie a positive ranking.

There is no more degenerate kind of state than that in which the richest are supposed to be the best.
Cicero, The Republic
Sad news cam by georgeha (2.00 / 0) #7 Tue Dec 22, 2009 at 09:50:45 AM EST
GM is ending production of the big block V-8.

It's rumbling, burbling sound will be missed.


the small block is where it is at by cam (2.00 / 0) #11 Tue Dec 22, 2009 at 09:48:59 PM EST
There was too much wang in that movie! by me0w (2.00 / 0) #14 Thu Dec 24, 2009 at 08:37:29 PM EST

"the only reason we PMS is because our uterus is screaming at our brain to go out, get fucked, and have a baby ... and it makes us angry."
blue hung like a donkey wang? by cam (2.00 / 0) #15 Fri Dec 25, 2009 at 10:16:49 AM EST
It burned my eyes. by me0w (2.00 / 0) #16 Sun Jan 03, 2010 at 10:43:49 PM EST

"the only reason we PMS is because our uterus is screaming at our brain to go out, get fucked, and have a baby ... and it makes us angry."
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Watchmen Movie | 16 comments (16 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback