Print Story As ze Germans would say....Sheize!
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By UberTaylor (Tue Dec 01, 2009 at 07:02:24 PM EST) (all tags)
A virus is wracking my body. I feel like death warmed over and allowed to congeal.


Missed work today, when I really can't afford to (I have plenty of PTO, it's just that ze shit is piling up in preparation of Natalis Sol Invictus/Saturnalia/Xmas). I have far too much to do to allow a virus to knock me on my ass...oh, what's that virus? You want me to expectorate for the 27th effing time in 12 hours? Why of course, I'm only happy to oblige, you bastard.

Forgive me if I ramble. My fever is currently clocking in at 102.2, and the delirium is dancing with the Advil I took.

Anyhoo, that's about it. Leave your favourite home-made flu remedies in the comments...if you, you know...care.
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Flu remedy by sugar spun (2.00 / 0) #1 Wed Dec 02, 2009 at 04:45:55 AM EST
You will need:
one of those smallish bottles of whisky. 0.4-0.5l should do you.
an orange
a lemon
a long movie
a saucepan and a stove on which to put it
a large mug
all the warm clothes you own
all your blankets
a sofa
a large glass of water
two paracetamol

Chop the fruit and drop it in the pan. Pour the whisky over the top and heat it. It should be warm, but not warm enough to cook out the alcohol.

While it heats, put on all your warm clothes, with pajamas/things that don't matter so much at the bottom. Pile all the blankets on the sofa and set up the movie on a TV or laptop that is visible from the sofa. Position the glass of water with the paracetamol beside it close to the sofa but not so close that you could knock it over.

Go back to the saucepan and turn off the heat. Pour the whisky into the mug. Eat the fruit. Go sit under the blankets, turn on the film and drink the whisky while it's still warm. You should fall asleep in short order and when you wake several hours later you will be uncomfortably sweaty but should feel much better aside from a ferocious hangover (hence the water and paracetamol).

paracetamol + alcohol? by gzt (2.00 / 0) #2 Wed Dec 02, 2009 at 09:36:21 AM EST
I haven't read the literature lately, but I thought that, even after the short-term effects of the alcohol abated, it wasn't a good idea to take it.

[ Parent ]
I've not heard of it being an issue in Europe. by ambrosen (2.00 / 0) #3 Wed Dec 02, 2009 at 10:07:25 AM EST
From: http://www.nhs.uk/chq/Pages/867.aspx?CategoryID=73&SubCategoryID=103
Paracetamol

Like aspirin and ibuprofen, paracetamol is available over the counter (OTC) without a prescription from pharmacies. Drinking alcohol while taking paracetamol is safe as long as you stick to the recommended amounts (between 3-4 units a day for men and between 2-3 units a day for women).

However, if you have liver problems, either from drinking alcohol or due to other causes, do not take paracetamol unless you are told it is safe to by your GP. Paracetamol can worsen any existing liver damage so you may have to take an alternative painkiller.

400ml of whisky is of course an unusually large dose of alcohol, mind.

However, that site does urge caution in terms of stomach bleeding by combining regular use of alcohol and aspirin/ibuprofen painkillers.

[ Parent ]
Interesting remedy by UberTaylor (2.00 / 0) #4 Wed Dec 02, 2009 at 11:28:21 AM EST
I shall give it a try. Cheers!


[ Parent ]
For some reason by gpig (2.00 / 0) #5 Wed Dec 02, 2009 at 01:15:58 PM EST
there's some superstition (which may well come from legal arse-covering on lobels) about paracetamol/acetaminophen and alcohol in the USA. They are broken down by the liver along different chemical pathways, so unless you really overload your liver, it's perfectly safe to mix the two.

Of course, as you noted, the dose of whisky suggested above is large, and may well overload your liver ....
---
(,   ,') -- eep

[ Parent ]
Water by Gedvondur (2.00 / 0) #6 Wed Dec 02, 2009 at 01:42:52 PM EST
And more water.  That'll do ya.



Gedvondur

"...I almost puked like a pregnant StackyMcRacky." --MillMan
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