Print Story Wii Fit: Day 400
By CheeseburgerBrown (Fri Oct 16, 2009 at 01:22:23 PM EST) (all tags)
My tits hurt. That's what push-ups'll get you.

This past year has been disasterous for me in terms of physical fitness (I aged a decade and gained nearly two stone) but I'm fighting hard to reverse the trend. For a fortnight I've been waking up at the crack of holy shit in order to spend some solid time working out before work.

The results so far are that I am exceedingly tired by mid-morning, ravenously hungry all day, irretrievably grouchy by tea time, and eight pounds lighter. Plus I have sore tits. And cramped calves.

It has been four hundred days since purchasing the Wii Fit, and in that time I have spent a palty thirty-nine hours actively exercising with it. It is this failure to engage with the system coupled with my lassitude-friendly lifestyle and seemingly bottomless appetite for greasy food-like candy that has contributed in some small way, I'm sure, to my weight gain.

I do enjoy Coca-Cola, just like the old timey advertisements suggest I ought. Also cheeseburgers, home-smoked bacon, poutine, club sandwiches with mayonnaise, breakfast sausage patties, fried eggs, rare steak, chunks of cheese and nearly all forms of bread. Between such dietary bouts I eat bananas, apples, granola, raisins, oatmeal and Mars bars.

When I'm not eating I'm sitting in a car or sitting at a desk. I sit often. I sit with remarkable poise. I am a practiced and accomplished master of the seated arts.

This summer we rode our bikes a lot. I like riding my bike. It has all sorts of doohickeys attached to the handlebars, so I can ring my bell and honk my horn and flash my lights and so on. I bring my Garmin GPS with me because I am a nerd. Popsicle and Yam and Littlestar love riding their bikes, too, and we rove around the village like a gang.

This is a strictly seasonal pleasure, however, as snow tires are not available for my make and model. Soon, the bikes will have to be parked in the shed until next equinox.


On the positive side, I am just beginning to see a little additional definition in my least when I flex. And suck in. If I could walk around all the time with my muscules flexed and gut sucked in I'd look pretty damn fit. People would be all, "What's your secret for looking so svelte?" and I wouldn't be able to say anything because I'd be holding my breath. So they'd think I was a snob.

Fucking people.

While I do aerobics I watch Mad Men or The Twilight Zone or the remastered Star Trek via my iPhone playing through the television. Kids today don't take the time to appreciate The Twilight Zone. It remains one of the medium's most enduring efforts, in my opinion. What the duck is wrong with Rod Serling's upper lip, though?

On Mad Men I think Sal's wife is starting to suspect he's queer. On the other hand, he still has the best vests on TV. "Hello Patio!"

William Shatner is awesome.

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Wii Fit: Day 400 | 18 comments (18 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
WIPO by clock (4.00 / 6) #1 Fri Oct 16, 2009 at 01:36:48 PM EST
The Muppet Show

I agree with clock entirely --Kellnerin

Considering how popular it was at the time by wiredog (2.00 / 0) #2 Fri Oct 16, 2009 at 02:09:35 PM EST
and, at first, in reruns, MASH sure disappeared in a hurry. By the late 90's it wasn't even in reruns on local UHF channels.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

and how much do you see by sasquatchan (2.00 / 0) #6 Fri Oct 16, 2009 at 02:42:52 PM EST
friends or cheers still in re-runs ?

[ Parent ]
definately cheers. by garlic (2.00 / 0) #12 Sat Oct 17, 2009 at 12:55:41 AM EST
not so much friends.

[ Parent ]
Friends, Seinfeld by wiredog (2.00 / 0) #17 Sun Oct 18, 2009 at 11:00:01 AM EST
Neither aged well.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

[ Parent ]
WIPO by kwsNI (2.00 / 0) #3 Fri Oct 16, 2009 at 02:34:00 PM EST
I went with Twilight Zone, because it's still a big part of pop culture. From the theme, to the intro, to the DVD episodes in every store, to the syndication on half a dozen cable channels, to the Disney rides, it's pervasive. If that's not endurance, I don't know what is. 

M*A*S*H's still on TV with somewhat of a timeless comedy.  You could also go with Hogan's Heroes in the same genre, just older.  I know nothink!

My WIPO option would have to be I Love Lucy.  As far as comedy goes, that show just doesn't get old.  I've seen every episode a dozen times and yet it's always funny. 

There is nothing wrong with your television set. by ad hoc (4.00 / 1) #7 Fri Oct 16, 2009 at 02:59:45 PM EST
Do not attempt to adjust the picture.
We are controlling transmission.
If we wish to make it louder, we will bring up the volume.
If we wish to make it softer, we will tune it to a whisper.
We will control the horizontal.
We will control the vertical.
We can roll the image, make it flutter.
We can change the focus to a soft blur or sharpen it to crystal clarity.
For the next hour, sit quietly and we will control all that you see and hear.
We repeat, there is nothing wrong with your television set.
You are about to participate in a great adventure.
You are about to experience the awe and mystery which reaches from the inner mind to...

The Outer Limits

[ Parent ]
No GIlligan's Island? by georgeha (2.00 / 0) #4 Fri Oct 16, 2009 at 02:37:33 PM EST
The copyright police have taken down all the Gilligan's Island does Hamlet as a musical, which I wanted to expose thirteen year too, since her social studies teacher does Hamlet Fridays.

What possible copyright violation would that be? by ad hoc (2.00 / 0) #9 Fri Oct 16, 2009 at 03:13:19 PM EST
I mean, Hamlet is well into the public domain. And the music they used was Carmen, IIRC, also in the public domain.
[ Parent ]
The derivative work is © by ReallyEvilCanine (4.00 / 1) #11 Fri Oct 16, 2009 at 08:13:08 PM EST
Locked up for 187.331 years. Until 2025, when copyright wiwll be extended another 47 years. To benefit the public.

the internet: amplifier of stupidity -- discordia

[ Parent ]
But why just that episode? by ad hoc (2.00 / 0) #13 Sat Oct 17, 2009 at 10:48:54 AM EST
All the others are available.

[ Parent ]
Nevermind by ad hoc (2.00 / 0) #14 Sat Oct 17, 2009 at 10:50:48 AM EST
I found it.
[ Parent ]
Found it! by ad hoc (4.00 / 1) #15 Sat Oct 17, 2009 at 10:51:45 AM EST
Write in option... by atreides (4.00 / 1) #5 Fri Oct 16, 2009 at 02:38:53 PM EST
Babylon 5, of course...

He sails from world to world in a flying tomb, serving gods who eat hope.

Because what is built endures, by infinitera (4.00 / 1) #18 Mon Oct 19, 2009 at 05:11:35 AM EST
and what is loved endures.

[…] a professional layabout. Which I aspire to be, but am not yet. — CheeseburgerBrown

[ Parent ]
I loved St. Elsewhere. by aphrael (2.00 / 0) #8 Fri Oct 16, 2009 at 03:12:49 PM EST
Unfortunately I can't get anything other than season 1 on either dvd or online.
If television is a babysitter, the internet is a drunk librarian who won't shut up.
i have sore tits too by LilFlightTest (4.00 / 1) #10 Fri Oct 16, 2009 at 07:06:40 PM EST
but for a different reason.
if de-virgination results in me being able to birth hammerhead sharks, SIGN ME UP!!! --misslake
WIPO: by ammoniacal (4.00 / 1) #16 Sat Oct 17, 2009 at 02:35:38 PM EST
"That Girl" Damn. Marlo Thomas was a stone-cold fox and contributed to my rejection of "blonde as a sex symbol".

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

Wii Fit: Day 400 | 18 comments (18 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback