Okay, so basically they're sunglasses. But they're better than mine, because instead of darkening the world they turn the world golden like a perpetual sunrise. They wrap around like senior headgear or skiing equipment, which means less real world leakage in the peripheral zones.

I wore them for a week, driving to and from work in Enchanted Sunrise Land. Sealed in. Immersed. Even the dreary rain seemed magical. It was like a highway detour via Narnia.

Then Littlestar undid my stealing of them by unstealing them back to herself, so me and Yam and Popsicle went to Dollarama to find Papa a new pair of awesome. Unfortunately, some of the influential higher ups on the sunglasses council feel that SUNRISE GOGGLES are just for girls -- I could tell because most of the time the frames I found that had the right lenses were shaped at the points of connection like small flowers or stars or tampons or whatever.

The less floral-themed frames invariably had blue- or green-tinted lenses, manufactured on the assumption that the world ought to look nightier, grittier, or somehow more comfortably Matrixier. F that S.

So next week I have to drive to work in the desert of the real, which I suppose isn't too bad given that it's early autumn and everything growing's gone all Technicolor and flamboyant. Still, if I don't get my own SUNRISE GOGGLES by winter I reckon I could be in for a world of glum.

Winter is how God punishes Canadians for tolerating gayness.