Print Story What is WRONG with me?
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By gzt (Thu Jan 08, 2009 at 10:35:04 AM EST) gzt, masquerade (all tags)
I drank a quart of egg nog at lunch yesterday. I am oddly emotional at times, even illogical.


I may eat an entire pizza for dinner. With chicken livers on it. It will taste offal. I may get a quart of egg nog right now.

I try hard and sometimes fall off the wagon. I will pick up heavy things and put them over my head. It seems to help. I will not crush my enemies.

I watched Conan the Barbarian last night. I felt I needed the archetypical "muscle-y guy being awesome and destroying bad guy" movie. I did. It served its purpose. Campy dialogue, James Earl Jones, etc.

I have found no place that is not a desert.

My teeth suddenly became sensitive to cold last week. I already disliked very cold beverages because of a tendency towards "ice cream headaches". I tend to consume things quickly. I may have to ring up my dentist.

I think I will go get a quart of egg nog. Nobody has to know. It will be our little secret. This is not the wagon I worry about falling off. I will fall off the egg nog wagon as often as I like and you cannot stop me. Only the end of the retail availability of egg nog can stop me.

I had three pieces of bacon, a quart of milk, a glass of orange juice, and a couple handfuls of cereal this morning for breakfast. I ate some nuts while at my desk. I will not lose weight this year.

I want to set things on fire.

George W Bush is still my president. I think history will show that we misunderestimated his capabilities. Pfffffffff...

I want to be home. I don't know what I would do there. I might sit and watch Star Trek. Spock's cold and unemotional view on life would be a much-needed respite.

At the grocery store yesterday, the only offal they had around was chicken liver. The tarts also disappeared. I'm addicted to the apple tarts. I was most put out by their disparition.

From my youth up.

I need to read a novel or something. I am getting too much nervous energy. I could get creative with a stimulus, an outside world besides my own, I just need some distraction, a novel. Or it could turn me incendiary. Well, that's what picking up heavy things is for, I guess.

There's a masquerade party tomorrow. On the one hand, cool. On the other, where they hell am I going to find a mask? That fits over glasses? Remember, it's a masquerade, not a costume party. I got the invitation on Tuesday. Hrm. Well, I'll think of something. A bandit-style mask. See lolfed.com for details.

< i got it all in the mail yesterday! | Misadventures in middle class America >
What is WRONG with me? | 18 comments (18 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
I used to eat an entire by ObviousTroll (2.00 / 0) #1 Thu Jan 08, 2009 at 11:12:32 AM EST
Entemann's Rasberry Struedel when I was upset or depressed.

These days I eat or drink because I'm sad, annoyed, bored, frustrated, happy or, in fact, just breathing.

I used to fight it by telling myself how much different it would be if I lost a lot of weight.

It wasn't.

So, now I have even less control over my appetites.

Face it - we're not rational beings; we're monkeys overlaid with a thing layer of higher cognitive function. Many of the things we do, we do because our instincts want them, not us.

On the upside?

When the nuclear war comes, I'll be able to live off my own body fat for weeks after everyone else has starved to death.



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I'm explicitly choosing to eat. by gzt (2.00 / 0) #2 Thu Jan 08, 2009 at 11:32:03 AM EST
In fact, I think I should, not just will, gain weight this year. But an entire quart of egg nog? That's just wrong.

[ Parent ]
AAAAH. by gzt (2.00 / 0) #6 Thu Jan 08, 2009 at 12:35:35 PM EST
I wish I had gotten this note before I had that quart of eggnog. This girl from ancient history that I have not talked to in a few years, I never returned her e-mail, just sent me a note saying, "Hey, what's up, been a while, hope things are well," and signed with a new last name. Granted, last we talked, and that was years ago, she was talking about possibly marrying the guy she was seeing, so it's not surprising in the slightest. Still: should've been before my eggnog.

[ Parent ]
So wait. by nightflameblue (2.00 / 0) #7 Thu Jan 08, 2009 at 12:50:32 PM EST
A quart of eggnog doesn't make you sick. But a quart of eggnog + a note that's ultimately a confirmation of something you already knew does?

me = very confused.



[ Parent ]
No, not sick. by gzt (2.00 / 0) #8 Thu Jan 08, 2009 at 12:52:02 PM EST
But it makes better sense, as a narrative, to say, "I got this note and then drank a friggin' quart of egg nog." I had an opportunity to make my nog consumption seem reasonable. Instead, I drank a quart of egg nog and then got a note.

[ Parent ]
And it ruined the eggnog buzz by gzt (2.00 / 0) #9 Thu Jan 08, 2009 at 12:58:49 PM EST
I was all, "Wooo, feeling good about egg nog. Wooo." Then I was all, "Aw, feeling bad about this note." I submit I'd be feeling better right now if the order were reversed.

[ Parent ]
Huh. by nightflameblue (2.00 / 0) #10 Thu Jan 08, 2009 at 06:33:30 PM EST
Unless that's alcoholic eggnog, I don't get the "woo" part. I mean, it's good. But it's sipping good, not drink a quart good.

[ Parent ]
Try drinking a quart. by gzt (2.00 / 0) #11 Fri Jan 09, 2009 at 05:28:12 AM EST
Non-alcoholic. Then you will understand.

[ Parent ]
I'd understand? by nightflameblue (2.00 / 0) #12 Fri Jan 09, 2009 at 05:46:14 AM EST
Sorry. I'd be too busy trying to hold myself down to the toilet to "understand" if I did that.

[ Parent ]
On the other side of the coin by debacle (2.00 / 0) #3 Thu Jan 08, 2009 at 11:57:39 AM EST
I fall off the "lose weight" bus once in a while, usually when I'm tired or had a shitty day at work, and I don't really have the energy but it's more because my soul is being sucked through my eyes than because I need food.

It's important to lose weight and be healthy, but I agree that if you're hungry, eat a fucking cheeseburger. If you're really hungry, eat twelve.

So yeah, eat what you need to, but exercise too.


IF YOU HAVE TWO FIRLES THOROWNF MONEY ART SUOCIDE GIRLS STRIPPER HPW CAN YPUS :OSE?!?!?!?(elcevisides).

[ Parent ]
Alternativley, when nuclear war comes by Dr H0ffm4n (2.00 / 0) #13 Fri Jan 09, 2009 at 05:47:42 AM EST
and zombie mutants turn to eating teh humans to survive, who are they gonna chase down first?

[ Parent ]
I'm not a'skeered. by ObviousTroll (2.00 / 0) #18 Fri Jan 09, 2009 at 07:13:21 AM EST
That's why I got me a blacksbelt - so I can whup the zombies.



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[ Parent ]
egg nog by garlic (2.00 / 0) #4 Thu Jan 08, 2009 at 12:05:03 PM EST
homemade is good, and not hard. store bought is terrible.


agreed. by gzt (2.00 / 0) #5 Thu Jan 08, 2009 at 12:06:10 PM EST
Quarts of store bought.

[ Parent ]
Some brands by barooo (2.00 / 0) #16 Fri Jan 09, 2009 at 06:40:32 AM EST
of storebought are pretty decent.  I remember shatto dairy in KC had awesome eggnog.  It was labeled as "eggnog" not "holiday nog".

Other than a pint of Petersen's eggnog ice cream this year, I had no ice cream.

if you're a-tryin' to gain the weight... I understand lots of people recommend drinking a gallon of full fat milk a day.  Although I would enjoy drinking a quart of eggnog much more, personally.

Okay, time for my morning snack.  And I'm trying to lose weight... 

man, i need a beefy taco now.
-gzt
[ Parent ]
er... by barooo (2.00 / 0) #17 Fri Jan 09, 2009 at 06:41:16 AM EST
Had no EGG NOG, not no ice cream. 

man, i need a beefy taco now.
-gzt
[ Parent ]
"ice cream headaches" by Dr H0ffm4n (2.00 / 0) #14 Fri Jan 09, 2009 at 05:48:22 AM EST
My midgets call them "brain freeze". I believe they watch too much cartoon edutainment.

or they're not eating enough ice cream. by gzt (2.00 / 0) #15 Fri Jan 09, 2009 at 05:50:29 AM EST
GET ON IT.

[ Parent ]
What is WRONG with me? | 18 comments (18 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback