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By Gedvondur (Thu Jan 29, 2009 at 01:06:27 PM EST) rants, what to wear, clothes, work, funerals, weddings (all tags)
A few tips and a minor rant on proper attire for events, with an emphasis on funerals. (mostly for men)


Okay listen up.  There are some occasions that require more than simply covering your body to avoid an indecency charge.  We've tipped over the top and have now landed in a place where casual dress is the norm for ANY situation.

Well guess what, that don't cut it in every situation.  I know the "classic" definition of "formal" is a tuxedo event.  But lets face it, most of us will wear a tux once or twice in our lives, depending on how many times we get married or stand up in someone else's wedding.   So when I say "formal" I mean suit and tie, rather than a tuxedo event.    Unless you are MNS.  Cause I know that motherfucker has a camoflage tux he wears on weekends.

Lets go over a few situations:


Funerals

Listen kids.  We have funerals because somebody died.  We go to funerals out of respect for the deceased or out of respect for the family as well as all of the usual grief/closure reasons. 

That means you need to get out your suit.  If you don't have a suit, you need to wear your best and show an obvious attempt at looking nice.  That goes for your kids too.  I know it well be hell to get your surly emo 15 year old into clothing that doesn't show his asscrack if he takes too big a step but in this case its worth it.

You are there to show respect.  Guess what, your jeans and tee-shirt don't cut it.  Oh, and guess what, unless you don't have better due to economic hardship, neither does your bullshit "business casual" ensemble of a company-logo polo shirt and khaki pleated pants.  That gear is your personal servitude outfit forced on you by the company.  Nobody in his right mind wears that shit unless they are forced to by some sadistic asshole of a boss who desperately wants his employees to wear suits but doesn't want the flack he will take trying to enforce that policy.  "Business Casual" is your work-prison-wear.  You can't show respect in prison-wear.

Some events, like funerals are just too important for you to slack off in this department.  I hear assholes say "Its not what you wear but how you feel."  Horseshit.  Show some respect.  I get that society is in a "dressing down" trend, but where do we draw the line?  If we can't get out a comb and our best clothes when somebody fucking DIES then when do we bother?

Oh, and you Harley-Davidson and Ski-Doo assholes?  Your shit, no matter how expensive it is doesn't cut it at a funeral.  Unless the deceased was a Hell's Angel.  Your company-logo-lifestyle gear doesn't impress anyone nor does it show respect.

So here's the bottom line:  Man up and wear something nice to a funeral, Nancy.  You are less of a man if you don't.

Weddings

Okay this one is more tricky.  You generally shoud wear your suit, but some folks have an outdoorsy party-in-the-park wedding.  Let your host set the tone and if you are not sure, WEAR YOUR BEST.  People are getting married and to them its important.   Show some respect!

Don't be upset when someone slapps that John Deere trucker hat  off your head when you show up with that covering your idiot dome. 

Don't show up in your work-prision wear unless your host is wearing it too. 

Oh and for fucks sake, don't show up dressed like Don Fucking Juan because you think you can total lay one of the brides maids after she's had 47 Miller Lites. 

Oh one other thing, (I will exempt Texans and Wyoming-dudes from this rule) don't show up in weird hats.  Fedoras died before Kennedy died and if I see you in a cowboy hat you had BETTER fucking own cattle and at least 10 pairs of cow-shit-stained pants.  Oh, and if your formal wear includes a bolo tie, you get a pass, but only barely.  That shit went out with Hee-Haw, but you get the pass because at least you are trying, as opposed to Mr. Budweiser Tee and Jeans over there.

Work

Here's a favorite of mine.  If your company has a bullshit "business casual" rule I have a suggestion:  Buy enought suits and dress shirts to wear them EVERY FUCKING DAY OF THE WEEK. Tie and all.  This will drive your co-workers bat-shit and make your boss think you are looking for HIS job.  They can't bitch about you overdressing and since business-casual dress codes are basicly designed to castrate you anyway, its time to take the ball-cutters away and use them on every one around you.  Stick their dress code in their ass and see how they like it.






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Thank you very much... by atreides (4.00 / 1) #1 Thu Jan 29, 2009 at 01:27:46 PM EST
I will exempt Texans...from this rule

I own a black Stetson that I love very much and I would never wear it to one of the aforementioned events unless the event was outside in the middle of cold ass winter (though, to be fair, my "winter" is probably your "shorts weather").

As for work, I work in a law firm and I personally raised the dress level around here by wearing my traditional work uniform of dress shirt and slacks. If I had enough money to get three more nice suits, I would consider wearing them everyday. When you see a suit around here, you know someone is going to court...

He sails from world to world in a flying tomb, serving gods who eat hope.

I own "girl clothes" by toxicfur (4.00 / 1) #2 Thu Jan 29, 2009 at 03:47:25 PM EST
(read skirt with nice shirt or black pantsuit with nice shirt) that are for weddings, funerals, and job interviews. I also sometimes where the skirt to church in the summer, or the suit when I have to usher at church.

--
To Rollins lesbians are like cuddly pandas: cute, exotic, forest-dwelling, dangerous when riled and unable to produce offspring without assistance.-CRwM
But apathy is my middle name by marvin (2.00 / 0) #3 Thu Jan 29, 2009 at 03:54:47 PM EST
I was told I had to wear a suit jacket to a corporate event, some client dinner back in 2000 or 2001. I found one that was much too large, but long enough in the arms at Value Village for $20 about an hour before the event started.

That little message wasn't clearly communicated to the clients who were invited. I spent most of the night talking with one client who showed up in blue jeans. He was greatly relieved to hear the origins of my jacket.

There is no intrinsic value in wearing a suit, unless you are a mannequin, in which case, wearing a suit is the reason you exist. Far from feeling castrated by business casual, I feel confined with a tie. If I were required to wear a suit every day, my employer would need to find another $10-20k a year to keep me around, and even then, I'd be working on the resume.

What's next? A treatise on the proper use of suspenders and bow ties, followed by a session on how it is desirable to pull the waistline of your pants above your belly-button?

Guess what? The person at the funeral is dead. They don't care what you are wearing. I would question how much grief or loss someone is feeling if they are showing that much interest in the clothing choices of other funeralgoers. What matters more - the person who died, and those left behind who are still suffering loss, or the fashion choices of people who are generally too dumb or stubborn to do any different? For me, it is the former. I feel sorry that the latter is so important to you.

The person at the funeral is dead . . . by slozo (4.00 / 5) #8 Thu Jan 29, 2009 at 07:20:52 PM EST
. . . but the surviving family members aren't yet - nor are they blind. No, the grieving widow might not notice, but most everyone else will, and I've personally been at funerals where I actually chided someone for not wearing a suit. It's family or a good friend, show some frickin' respect . . . I mean, the older generation doesn't like it, and if it infringes on your personal style or mojo too much, you have too little respect to show anyways so you might as well stay at home.

What does it cost you to show respect? If you can't take the time to put someone else's wishes ahead of your own feeble needs for comfy attire, then stay at home, ya selfish punk. I'm overstating, but you get the picture.

 

[ Parent ]
IAWTAP by Gedvondur (4.00 / 1) #13 Fri Jan 30, 2009 at 04:29:51 AM EST
Damn, Slozo, I was about to formulate a reply to marvin, but you hit it out of the park.  Kudos.


Gedvondur

"I love my brain. It's the only organ I can afford to lose." --frijolito
[ Parent ]
Leaping to conclusions by marvin (2.00 / 0) #32 Fri Jan 30, 2009 at 09:28:32 AM EST
Good to know which people judge others based on what they wear. I'm so glad to see so many sheeple enmeshed in the societal construct that wearing a suit = respect.

Nowhere did I say that I would deliberately dress in a slovenly manner; in fact, you might wish to re-read the sentence where I discussed the futility of trying to improve the fashion choices of other people. I've been to enough funerals of friends (aged 19 to 70+), and close family, and I cannot recall caring about what other people are wearing. I certainly don't remember what others wore. I remember who was there, and how we all came together in a time of sorrow. But this isn't about me.

I still maintain that it is a sign of immense shallowness that someone would place their own sense of fashion ahead of the real reason for being at a funeral. I could not imagine going up to someone and chiding them as slozo is so proud of doing. That is unspeakably rude and utterly disrespectful - why was slozo even at the funeral if all he could do was pay attention to the clothing choices of others?

No, the people who should be staying at home from a funeral are the ones who are not there to mourn, but instead are there to observe others and nitpick those who fail to meet their exacting standards.

[ Parent ]
Now really by Gedvondur (4.00 / 1) #35 Fri Jan 30, 2009 at 11:34:19 AM EST
I think you are probably taking this personally and too far to boot. 

Funerals are long hours of stressful grief.  Taking the time to gear up properly is a sign of respect.  This isn't about whether Harry's purple tie and yellow suit-coat are fashion appropriate.  Its about whether or not Harry was thinking enough about the family to bother to dress for the occasion.  It is about respect.  I would venture to say that showing up sloppy in street clothes, unless its all you have, doesn't show forethought and is a half-assed way of doing things. 

You are saying, if I understand correctly, that dress at a funeral doesn't matter and its the thought that counts.  I can understand and see that point of view.  What I am saying is that proper dress shows more thought.  Most people I see who are dressed in their everyday street clothes are not there to support the family, they are there because they think they have to be and have put in the minimum amount of effort needed in order to sign the guest book.

If a funeral isn't the time to wear your best when, exactly is that time? 

People judge you by your appearance.  A funeral isn't the time to show what a big rebel and non-conformist you are.  You can call that shallow and materialistic if you want.  I don't see that in the case of a funeral and that is not where I was coming from in my advice on funeral wear.  That is about respect.. To deny that you are judged on how you look and to consider improper dress to be some sort of act of freethinking/nonconformity is a simple sign of immaturity and disrespect. 

Its about showing the family that this is important enough that even the freethinker can get on a simple fucking suitcoat.


Gedvondur







"I love my brain. It's the only organ I can afford to lose." --frijolito
[ Parent ]
I'm not much of a rebel by marvin (2.00 / 0) #37 Fri Jan 30, 2009 at 12:02:37 PM EST
I think you are probably taking this personally and too far to boot.
Nope, just playing around for an argument. That's why I responded to your comment and not slozo's. He's too predictable and gets easily worked up.

What I'm saying is that if you don't have better things to do at a funeral than look at how others are dressed, judge them on their apparel, and possibly attempt to reprove them for their fashion choices, then you probably have no business being there.

I don't advocate or own any corporate branded clothing, or any suits for that matter. I also do not recall defending people who dress that way - in fact, I called those people you decry for wearing Harley-Davidson and Ski-Doo "dumb or stubborn". Why get so worked up about people who don't know better or care what others think about them? You're not going to change the minds or behaviour of these people. The only outcome from what you're doing is that one or both sides look like assholes - both the people dressed for the beach, and the uptight twat who is gravely offended by this. It's like an abortion debate - nobody wins, nobody changes their mind, and the only thing that abounds is the opportunity to look stupid.

To deny that you are judged on how you look and to consider improper dress to be some sort of act of freethinking/nonconformity is a simple sign of immaturity and disrespect.

Its about showing the family that this is important enough that even the freethinker can get on a simple fucking suitcoat.

I think you are probably taking this personally and too far to boot.

[ Parent ]
indeed. by gzt (4.00 / 3) #26 Fri Jan 30, 2009 at 07:02:12 AM EST
Cost to put on a suit you already own: $0.
Cost to put on jeans you already own: $0.

Might as well put on the suit. You're already going to be wearing pants. Might as well wear the pants from the suit. And if you're wearing the pants, it's not that much of a hassle to put on the jacket. If you really insist, we won't make you put on the tie.

[ Parent ]
Believe me, funerals are just different by Dr H0ffm4n (4.00 / 3) #15 Fri Jan 30, 2009 at 04:51:45 AM EST
If the person who died was irreverent and would not have cared, then sure, wear what you want or don't go. But please, don't insult the dead. If you don't understand how much minutiae can effect grief and bereavement, then count yourself lucky and just show some respect.

[ Parent ]
Work wear. by dark nowhere (4.00 / 1) #4 Thu Jan 29, 2009 at 04:00:40 PM EST
It's been nearly a decade since I've worn jeans. Or a tie. I split the difference, but my definition of business-casual is tie-optional. The extra money you spend on dress had better be on comfort and not on the label or else you're still just a bitch.

Funerals and weddings--do people really need to be told this? Weddings are forgivable since it's a personal thing, and taste is a factor. The point is it comes back on you, not them. Funerals... the only times I've ever seen that fucked up was by people who paid too much attention to appearances, and almost none to honest respect.

Chill out, snowflake.

Actually yes by Gedvondur (2.00 / 0) #14 Fri Jan 30, 2009 at 04:31:37 AM EST
I've seen it.  As little as a week ago.

People dressed like they were going out for some KFC at a funeral.  It was a minority, but a bit jolting none the less.




Gedvondur

"I love my brain. It's the only organ I can afford to lose." --frijolito
[ Parent ]
(Comment Deleted) by jxg (2.00 / 0) #38 Fri Jan 30, 2009 at 01:03:58 PM EST

This comment has been deleted by jxg



[ Parent ]
Oh, stop it now by Gedvondur (4.00 / 1) #40 Fri Jan 30, 2009 at 03:24:56 PM EST
I never mentioned minorities nor was the mention of KFC meant to indicate that, although I can see where you might have gotten that impression.  That wasn't the intent.

Lets set this straight.  I wasn't talking about minorities.  I was talking about classless individuals.



Gedvondur

"I love my brain. It's the only organ I can afford to lose." --frijolito
[ Parent ]
dude by dev trash (4.00 / 4) #5 Thu Jan 29, 2009 at 04:04:12 PM EST
it only took her 44 Miller Lites and she was sooooo into me and my Don Juan.

--
Click
Suits and work by ucblockhead (4.00 / 1) #6 Thu Jan 29, 2009 at 05:38:35 PM EST
The last time I wore a suit for work was for business travel on orders from my boss who apparently didn't known that Austrians dress like San Diegans. I still haven't forgiven him.
---
[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman
Suit for work by Gedvondur (2.00 / 0) #16 Fri Jan 30, 2009 at 04:55:28 AM EST
Now working from home my attire is really not that important.  But when I do travel for business, often to trade shows, I wear suit and tie. 


Gedvondur

"I love my brain. It's the only organ I can afford to lose." --frijolito
[ Parent ]
Experiences by ucblockhead (4.00 / 1) #22 Fri Jan 30, 2009 at 06:23:04 AM EST
That one particular experience was a technical conference where I discovered myself massively overdressed.  T-shirts and cargo shorts were the rule.  Even the Senior VP made do with a sports jacket and khakis.
---
[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman
[ Parent ]
I can see that by Gedvondur (2.00 / 0) #30 Fri Jan 30, 2009 at 08:39:20 AM EST
Some technical conferences I can see that.  For, me, I work for a company who gets paid based on, well, how much customers like me and my analysis.  So I kind of have to approach it from a different angle.



Gedvondur

"I love my brain. It's the only organ I can afford to lose." --frijolito
[ Parent ]
Ugh by ad hoc (4.00 / 2) #7 Thu Jan 29, 2009 at 05:53:50 PM EST
I own five suits, but my weight fluctuates so much, none of them fit right now. The best I can offer is a wicked nice sweater.
--
Hear hear, good sir . . . by slozo (4.00 / 1) #9 Thu Jan 29, 2009 at 07:25:20 PM EST
. . . you made me laugh here with some good lines.

I'd love to hear your take on the necessary accessories for weddings, and especially funerals: cigars, flask of booze (brandy, preferrably), walking cane with metal spike on the end for dressed down slackers . . . 

Word my man by LinDze (4.00 / 1) #10 Thu Jan 29, 2009 at 09:44:43 PM EST
Now, I have to say I work out here at one of these SiValley companies. So me wearing a shirt with buttons raises the bar around the office.

That said, I totally agree. Personally my dress ranges from fitted dark grey suit (weddings & funerals), off the rack pinstripe (out around town), down to a tan herringbone sport coat (out to dinner or wine). All wool of course. I actually like to go out so that I have a reason to dress properly.

That said, I have a terrible dress story. Before my brothers wedding I asked him what the standard was. Was it formal, casual, whats the plan? He kind of waffled and says "Well it's outside in June, nothing too formal" Hell, "So a decent suit is ok? I'm not going to stand out or anything?" Oh no, he assures me.

So on wedding day a total of two people, besides the wedding party, are wearing suits. Me and my father. Seriously? What the fuck? There may have been a total of 6 people even wearing a tie. The brides brother was actually wearing a white button down shirt. With ghetto jeans literally off the ass. At the end of the reception there were keg stands out in the parking lot.

Oh well, I did my part.


-Lin Dze
Arbeit Macht Frei

Heh by Gedvondur (2.00 / 0) #17 Fri Jan 30, 2009 at 05:01:49 AM EST
Well at least for a wedding somebody else sets the tone.  If they don't understand that you are actually concerned about your look for the wedding, you occasionally have that kind of thing.

I've been to plenty of low class weddings and I don't mind them, if that's what the bride and groom wanted.  Keg stands in the parking lot is a bit much, but hey, if the family is happy I can go with that.

Many of the companies I call upon are in SiValley and I always suit up for those meetings.  As an outsider it shows that I am serious about the work I am doing for them.  They already find it dodgy enough that I am a tech guy in Green Bay.


Gedvondur

"I love my brain. It's the only organ I can afford to lose." --frijolito
[ Parent ]
Damn straight. by sugar spun (4.00 / 1) #11 Fri Jan 30, 2009 at 12:15:17 AM EST
I can't stand seeing people dressed as though they're planning a game of touch rugby in the park after the funeral. It's disrespectful to everyone: the person you're mourning is dead, but you're still showing respect to the family, the close friends and the occasion by dressing up a bit.

Having said that, when my grandmother died, the Chav Branch of the family took it upon themselves to instruct everyone* to wear something bright and pretty, to show how we were celebrating her long and happy life. *Except us. So we turned up all in black and were the grubs in a sea of pastels and florals. Bastards. But they also purchased a flower arrangement that read "Mum", so I have worse things to complain about.

For a wedding? You'd better dress nicely. I'm half of the integral pair in one of those next month, and anyone showing up underdressed will find themselves on the receiving end of my sartorial scorn. The clue's in the location. Be formal. Don't annoy me. It's rude.

Heh by Gedvondur (2.00 / 0) #18 Fri Jan 30, 2009 at 05:04:17 AM EST
Yes, there are certainly some out there that cannot show respect and some that cannot understand that when you get a request regarding dress that the person making the request is serious.

This has lead me to be wearing a suit at a Hawaiian shirt party, much to everyone's amusement. 



Gedvondur

"I love my brain. It's the only organ I can afford to lose." --frijolito
[ Parent ]
Better overdressed than underdressed. by sugar spun (4.00 / 1) #20 Fri Jan 30, 2009 at 05:24:44 AM EST
A friend of mine had a black-tie party a few weeks ago. She invited a former boyfriend, but neglected to tell him it was formal. He turned up in jeans, in a room where the next least formal item of clothing was a cocktail dress instead of a ballgown.

I'd have imploded from embarrassment. He went home.

[ Parent ]
Was "mum" the note or the label? by jxg (2.00 / 0) #39 Fri Jan 30, 2009 at 01:08:29 PM EST



[ Parent ]
The shape of the flowers. by sugar spun (4.00 / 2) #41 Sat Jan 31, 2009 at 03:23:44 AM EST
The arrangement was white flowers, arranged across a structure that read MUM. It was awful.

My classy grandmother would have died a second time of embarrassment if she'd seen it, although the overrunning of the funeral and the corresponding speeding hearse to make it to the crematorium on time would have made her chuckle a bit. I don't believe she was ever late for anything, except her own cremation. That would probably have amused her, although the rattling and bouncing MUM flower arrangement in the window of the hearse would not have gone down so well.

[ Parent ]
The people who object to suit+tie by wiredog (4.00 / 1) #12 Fri Jan 30, 2009 at 02:43:20 AM EST
at weddings and funerals are probably also the types who feel that showing up on time for an interview infringes on their "creativity." That sort tends to be socially self-limiting.

That said "business casual" ensemble of a company-logo polo shirt and khaki pleated pants. That gear is your personal servitude outfit forced on you by the company. is not necessarily true. OK, the company logo bit may be, but polo shirt+khakis is the essence of preppy. I grew up preppy. Been wearing polo shirt+khakis since grade school. Don't currently have boat shoes to go along with it, but that's because the Army wore off some of the prep.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

Heh by Gedvondur (2.00 / 0) #19 Fri Jan 30, 2009 at 05:06:11 AM EST
Well I think my hatred for that kind of dress has more to do with the fact that I never wore that kind of gear until I was forced to.  That and the legions of folks who take pride in the fact that they were given every single polo they own as a gift by a vendor.


Gedvondur

"I love my brain. It's the only organ I can afford to lose." --frijolito
[ Parent ]
At my brother-in-law's graduation by debacle (4.00 / 2) #21 Fri Jan 30, 2009 at 06:16:42 AM EST
My mother-in-law wore sweatpants and my father-in-law wore jeans and a beater. I didn't sit at the ceremony with them because there was a one in ten million chance that I might be seen by someone I know.

I swear to god, the world has gone to the white trash. There's nothing us civilized folk can really do but write it off and start over somewhere else, maybe somewhere where things like Wal*Mart and reality television don't exist.

There's nothing we can really do here, though. We're being outbred by the fucking slack-jawed, knuckle-dragging, nose-picking horse fuckers that got GWB voted into office. Twice.


IF YOU HAVE TWO FIRLES THOROWNF MONEY ART SUOCIDE GIRLS STRIPPER HPW CAN YPUS :OSE?!?!?!?(elcevisides).

Well I think by Gedvondur (4.00 / 1) #23 Fri Jan 30, 2009 at 06:44:49 AM EST
I think that there is some sort of mis-guided connection between honest poor and white trash.  I've seen several very poor people who, while not having the best, come off with class. 

People tend to think that red neck white trash has some sort of redeeming side.  More often than not, they just don't.  Many are people who are too unmotivated and uneducated to do more than get by.


 

Gedvondur


"I love my brain. It's the only organ I can afford to lose." --frijolito
[ Parent ]
I have nothing against the poor by debacle (4.00 / 1) #24 Fri Jan 30, 2009 at 06:47:29 AM EST
Especially since most of them work much harder than I do for a lot less.

White trash have no redeeming qualities except that they're easy to spot.


IF YOU HAVE TWO FIRLES THOROWNF MONEY ART SUOCIDE GIRLS STRIPPER HPW CAN YPUS :OSE?!?!?!?(elcevisides).

[ Parent ]
vs2fp by 256 (4.00 / 1) #25 Fri Jan 30, 2009 at 06:54:42 AM EST
my sense of style has always been pretty left field and has been known to occasionally flaunt the odd obscenity law; but there's a time and a place.

Buy enough suits and dress shirts to wear them EVERY FUCKING DAY OF THE WEEK
funny story: fresh out of high school i worked as a computer tech and part-time instructor at a community college. I showed up for work one day with my hair spiked up (but still wearing my slacks and dress shirt) and got scolded by my boss's boss for being in violation of unspoken dress code.

i showed up for work every day for the remainder of the nine months i worked there in a three piece suit wearing french cuffs and a full windsor knot in my tie.

---
I don't think anyone's ever really died from smoking. --ni
Heh by Gedvondur (2.00 / 0) #29 Fri Jan 30, 2009 at 08:36:43 AM EST
That's awesome and exactly what I'm talking about.  Well done.



Gedvondur

"I love my brain. It's the only organ I can afford to lose." --frijolito
[ Parent ]
I will be disappointed by R343L (2.00 / 0) #42 Sat Jan 31, 2009 at 03:18:51 PM EST
To find out your hair was not a punky color for that period. So don't tell me.

"There will be time, there will be time / To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet." -- Eliot
[ Parent ]
Hey by notafurry (4.00 / 1) #27 Fri Jan 30, 2009 at 07:07:59 AM EST
Fedoras are pretty popular out here... not like everyone's wearing one, but you'll see more than two or three on any given city street in the winter. More convenient than an umbrella and more comfortable, too.

Oh yeah - and if you go back far enough, the tuxedo was casual wear for those occasions when full dress wasn't required.

I want a fedora by georgeha (4.00 / 1) #28 Fri Jan 30, 2009 at 08:31:32 AM EST
for nicer weather.


[ Parent ]
I'm really torn about the headgear by Gedvondur (2.00 / 0) #31 Fri Jan 30, 2009 at 08:41:57 AM EST
Some people can pull it off, most can't.  For myself, I've got some class of '45  flat hats that work for me as well as a plethora of baseball caps. 

That being said every time I put on a fedora or a cowboy hat, I look like a douchebag poser.



Gedvondur

"I love my brain. It's the only organ I can afford to lose." --frijolito
[ Parent ]
I wear a fedora by notafurry (4.00 / 1) #33 Fri Jan 30, 2009 at 10:50:31 AM EST
on the street in winter and baseball caps on the boat. The rest of the time I don't wear hats.

But my fedora is very plain and utilitarian - basic black, good quality felt, matches my jacket. I started wearing it because it kept me dry while leaving my hands free, even though I thought it looked silly; but I get compliments on it fairly regularly, and my wife likes how it looks, so I just told that part of my brain to shut up and wear the damn hat.

[ Parent ]
Pulling it off by Gedvondur (2.00 / 0) #34 Fri Jan 30, 2009 at 11:19:45 AM EST
If your wife thinks you can pull it off, I imagine you can.  For myself, I don't think I can.  I always get this "Look at me!  Look at me!" feeling when I wear one.

I wish I could I think they are cool.


Gedvondur

"I love my brain. It's the only organ I can afford to lose." --frijolito
[ Parent ]
still by 256 (4.00 / 1) #44 Mon Feb 02, 2009 at 08:01:51 AM EST
i think the hat-hate is uncalled for. just because they're out of fashion doesn't make them intrinsically inappropriate. i think a fedora is just fine for a wedding or for a funeral (though make sure to take it off inside the church.

baseball caps and cowboy hats are a different matter. baseball caps are casual attire and so have no place in a formal setting. the same is true of cowboy hats most places, though local customs prevail.

---
I don't think anyone's ever really died from smoking. --ni
[ Parent ]
I may by Gedvondur (2.00 / 0) #45 Mon Feb 02, 2009 at 09:52:59 AM EST
I may be willing to concede the formal hat thing.  I think perhaps most of my feelings on those have to do with the fact that I can't pull them off.


 

Gedvondur


"I love my brain. It's the only organ I can afford to lose." --frijolito
[ Parent ]
yes. by aphrael (4.00 / 2) #36 Fri Jan 30, 2009 at 11:57:41 AM EST
Your shit, no matter how expensive it is doesn't cut it at a funeral.  Unless the deceased was a Hell's Angel.

That's the thing for me.

Dressing at a wedding or a funeral is all about showing respect for the family involved. I could care less what I look like in such an event, but I want the people who I am there to support to be supported by me, and that includes my attire.

So I'll dress up unless I know the people involved don't want me to; because it's not about me, it's about them.
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nothin' wrong with hats by R343L (4.00 / 1) #43 Sat Jan 31, 2009 at 03:19:00 PM EST
I like a man in a hat. Keeps your head warm, looks good (depending on style and person).

Also, to me, the full formal outdoor suit look isn't actually complete without a hat. Your entire body is covered in formal clothing. WHY ISN'T YOUR HEAD? You should have gloves, too, ideally.

"There will be time, there will be time / To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet." -- Eliot

No camo tux here by MohammedNiyalSayeed (4.00 / 1) #46 Tue Feb 03, 2009 at 07:18:20 AM EST

I wear an entirely appropriate Joseph Abboud 3-button worsted wool suit, black, to all the funerals I go to. And I go to a lot of funerals. It's what I do. Don't judge me.

And besides, the appropriate military funeral attire is the Class A, not field wear. I mean, come on!


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You can build the most elegant fountain in the world, but eventually a winged rat will be using it as a drinking bowl.
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