Print Story A week
Diary
By Dr H0ffm4n (Sat Sep 27, 2008 at 01:14:19 PM EST) (all tags)
In which I plot my downfall


On Monday evening I was taken out for pizza by Older Wise Receptionist (OWR). My friends and WPKAW's have tried to make sure I'm kept from being by myself too much. OWR will be remembered for coming to a LHusi with me once and having a go at Tom in Chinatown. Her wise eyebrows were raised when she found out that I was in touch with Train Wreck Ex Girlfriend (TWEG). Most of my friends have never met TWEG, but don't hold a high opinion of her because of the state I was left in after we broke up.

Tuesday I got a new laptop at work. I had to drop off my old laptop for three hours so that they could copy over my data, apps and settings. So I couldn't work for the morning. I went for a walk. I decided to check up on the ghost-bike at the junction of WPKAW's accident.

The plaque was coming loose so I bought some extra ring ties to bind it tighter.

I went straight home in the evening and spend time at the PC or in front of the TV. On Facebook I posted pics of the reception after WPKAW's thanksgiving service.

I expected to feel quite empty and listless this week. The last twelve weeks I have been obsessively planning and preparing for Friday's service. I've realised that I have an obsessive nature and tend to fixate on something for weeks or months at a time, often to the exclusion of healthier behaviour. When WPKAW was alive I tended to spend hours playing computer games, especially racing games. WPKAW would watch her chick TV and I would play on the computer. She'd get annoyed that she wasn't getting any attention and I'd get fed up that she wouldn't do much else, if we stayed in, but slob on the sofa and watch TV. Computer games and TV became tools to use to ignore or neglect each other.

So I've stopped playing games since WPKAW died. They just remind me of all the time we could have spent together but that we wasted. Which leaves me with even more time on my hands and nothing to obsess about. I can't obsess about the midgets since they are not here most of the time and we've never been parents that try to arrange every waking minute for them anyway.

Wednesday was unremarkable at work. We're ramping up for a major launch in December, entering into UAT and OAT cycles at the moment. I couldn't care less.

In the evening I went to the church where we'd held the thanksgiving and collected the remaining orders of service and a giant canvas print portrait  that an ex-bf of WPKAW had got printed  especially for the service from a photo I had provided.

It's too large to put up at home though so I have no idea what to do with it. It's a lovely picture, but I can't see it being hung anywhere. It will just go into storage to be taken out rarely. Which seems like a waste. But I have so much of WPKAW's stuff that is like that. I can't bring myself to throw it out but it is of no practical use to anyone. Some of her stuff will find a home or go to charities. Her father is already driving her car. A Uni friend will take her immaculate folders of course notes.

With the stuff piled in the cab I picked up the midgets on the way home as I do every Wednesday evening. Except major midget wasn't yet home at her mums. She was late. She's a teenager now and is getting into the testing boundaries phase. Her mum was livid. I just pointed out that she'd have to get a bus to mine instead of the cab with us. Her mum phoned her and ripped shreds off her.

Major midget turned up at mine an hour after minor midget and I did and went straight up to her room to sulk. I left her for half an hour and then went up for a chat. Eventually we got talking and I managed to get out of her why she was acting up. I'll not share here, but I think she felt glad to be able to get it off her chest. I warned her not to be late again as she'd get grounded and not be allowed to go to any Halloween parties.

Thursday was not unremarkable. Busty Legal Sec (BLS) was greatly concerned when she found out I was in touch with TWEG. She was more than concerned when I told her I was actually meeting up with TWEG that evening. My friends worry about me. In the mental state I'm in at the moment they worry that I'll head straight back into a crap relationship with TWEG and she'll lead me on an inevitable march to heartbreak again. But I've assured them it is not like that. I can't go back into relationships I used to have. TWEG and I are friends. If she still has the angst and is as difficult as she could be of old, then I don't think I'd want to be her friend, let alone anything else. She put me off people like that and I have no time for them any more.

We walked and talked for an hour, stopped for some sushi in Clerkenwell and then went back to mine.

TWEG was on her best, most attentive and sympathetic behaviour. It's been seven years since we dated and the demons she had seem long gone. I met her immediately after her mum had died and she'd been jilted at the alter. She had a lot of angst. She is now remarkably chilled, happy and doesn't chug wine and bourbon to dull the pains. She's also single.

She's also very aware how much I still love WPKAW.

I showed TWEG around the house and introduced her to George.

We chatted for an hour or so more before I put TWEG in a cab home and settled myself into bed. I read to WPKAW from the book she was reading at the time of her death. I figured she probably wants to find out how it ends.

Friday I went out after work and got drunk.

< Diary | And... Done. >
A week | 13 comments (13 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
Quite a week (n/t) by Metatone (4.00 / 2) #1 Sat Sep 27, 2008 at 01:55:50 PM EST





It's not all that unusual by Dr H0ffm4n (4.00 / 1) #4 Sun Sep 28, 2008 at 01:33:36 AM EST
I just don't usually have time or motivation to go into so much detail.

[ Parent ]
George certainly is a handsome lad! by ammoniacal (2.00 / 0) #2 Sat Sep 27, 2008 at 02:23:59 PM EST
Love his hairdo!

So, the having a go at Tom--was that the good kind?
Speaking as a Busty Legal Secretary myself, I say GO FOR IT! She's into you, dude.

Also, I'll send you a FB friend invite, if I can deduce your real name. lol.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

George is as naughty as he is handsome by Dr H0ffm4n (4.00 / 1) #3 Sun Sep 28, 2008 at 01:31:57 AM EST
He chews to keep his teeth worn down. So he chews skirting boards, door frames, books and especially electrical cables.

She had a go at Tom for boasting how much he earned and then sponging off people all evening.

Busty Legal Sec is another ex. I am certainly not going back there.

[ Parent ]
E's kids had a rabbit when we were together. by ammoniacal (2.00 / 0) #7 Sun Sep 28, 2008 at 03:45:24 AM EST
Maybe they still do, I dunno.

I know how much bunnies love the cables. They didn't have a very long life expectency when bun got out of their grasp. I was always worried about live wires in his mouth.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

[ Parent ]
George disconnected the fridge/freezer once by Dr H0ffm4n (4.00 / 1) #8 Sun Sep 28, 2008 at 04:18:57 AM EST
All the food had to be thrown out. Didn't put him off cables though. I let him have a coax aerial cable for a couple of months but it's just a piece of copper core now.

[ Parent ]
Mental image of you in Bond villain mode by Phage (2.00 / 0) #10 Sun Sep 28, 2008 at 11:07:21 PM EST
Lounging in black exec chair idly throwing minor characters to the wild-eyed Tom. The Tom who thinks noting of chewing right through metal and plastic to get what he wants. A small bridge over his hutch that all applicants have to pass over on their way in would suffice...

[ Parent ]
Re Facebook by Dr H0ffm4n (4.00 / 1) #9 Sun Sep 28, 2008 at 04:28:04 AM EST
I only joined in July. This was to trace some of WPKAW's friends that I had no other way of contacting. WPKAW had sent me an friend invite in April that I had ignored.

Her profile pic was taken by her younger sister at their fathers 70th birthday party last year. WPKAW's sister has Downs Syndrome, will be 30 on Thurday and still lives with WPKAW's mum and dad.

[ Parent ]
um by Merekat (4.00 / 1) #5 Sun Sep 28, 2008 at 01:37:21 AM EST
What is George?


WPKAW's Angora rabbit by Dr H0ffm4n (2.00 / 0) #6 Sun Sep 28, 2008 at 02:05:41 AM EST
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angora_rabbit

We found him. Or rather he found us. He wandered into our front yard one Sunday morning and no one claimed him after knocking on doors, posting crads, putting up posters and phoning around local vets and police.

[ Parent ]
Maybe he's wild /nt by nebbish (2.00 / 0) #12 Mon Sep 29, 2008 at 04:44:41 AM EST

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It's political correctness gone mad!

[ Parent ]
Feral long haired rabbits by Dr H0ffm4n (4.00 / 1) #13 Mon Sep 29, 2008 at 05:57:39 AM EST
In Haringey? He has had nearly two years to adjust to life chez DrH.

[ Parent ]
Good to keep busy by nebbish (2.00 / 0) #11 Mon Sep 29, 2008 at 01:20:02 AM EST
You need something to fill that video game void though - it's important to be able to enjoy your own company.

Nice rabbit.

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It's political correctness gone mad!

A week | 13 comments (13 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback