1. What is your personal leadership philosophy?
Don't fucking lead. It's not worth the spinectomy, nor the lobotomy required. Also, it'll all end in tears.
2. When confronted by hostile superiors, what kinds of ethical ways do you use to diffuse the situation?
There's two choices here. First, scream obscenities at them to distract them and leave the room then wait for them to come apologize. Second, sit there with your head down and take your beating like a little bitch, the way your father taught you to, and let them get it out of their system. There simply aren't any other ways to deal with it that will result in anything other than action by an HR unit.
3. What do you feel are positive morale boosters? What would you consider to be morale downers? How do you react to negative morale?
Positive morale boosters - money. That's it. I'm here for MONEY you dumb fucks. Not beer. Not food. Not shiny objects with company logos printed on them. Money.
Morale downers - anything with a company logo on it meant to be morale boosting. t-shirts are particularly heinous, but coffee mugs, glasses, pens, calculators, or any other offensively cutesy piece of shit with a company logo is a good way to make me feel really fucking worthless.
Reaction to negative morale - whine about it on the intarwebs.
4. Whether individually, or in a group dynamic, when would you feel that giving up the work on a project or situation would be a positive action or decision?
After realizing we've been spinning our wheels on the same project with the same back and forth bullshit questions for six months and have made ZERO progress because some dumb ass can't pull their head out long enough to realize that they've requested we make the same back and forth changes fifteen times in the last three months alone.
5. What goals do set to complete daily tasks? (I'm not re-writing the bitch for them. If their teachers can't even put together a questionaire in answerable form, then fuck 'em.)
The 'goals do set' are "survive this day," and "try not to kill anyone in the process." The second part is optional.
6. Do you have any goals that will improve your work environment? If so, what are they, and how will you encourage others to follow your lead to ensure these goals are met?
Stir the shit so we can watch upper management fight amongst themselves leaving us lowly peons down in the muck able to actually do some work for a change instead of change diapers and warm up bottles all day. I encourage others by filming it and showing coworkers the results.
7. In a meeting, how would you take control of a stagnant situation?
If there's anything you learn in the business world it's that you DO NOT TAKE CONTROL once a meeting has gone south. When you see a pile of dog crap in the yard, do you pick it up with your bare hands? No, you leave it, or at best get a rake and shovel and get it picked up and thrown away. Your only option is to wait for some tool to come along and rake up the mess once a meeting has gone stagnant. You don't want to step in it and get it all over yourself.
8. What types of information do you incorporate into your decision making?
Decisions are things like, "do I get a Code Red, or a Pepsi?" Or, "Does the sausage or the bacon sound good this morning?"
I don't make business related decisions. Making a business related decision is the first step on the path to failure, and I'm not big on failure. This is the primary rule of the business world. Learn it, or become management.
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