By gzt (Wed Sep 10, 2008 at 10:01:00 AM EST) gzt, german coffee girl, russian coffee girl, certain destruction (all tags)
A startling new development which will certainly lead to my demise: I decided today to get coffee, being mildly curious about whether one of the German girls was still around. When I came into the shop, I heard the guy in front of me chatting up the new (?) clerk... know, talking about where he works and what he does to her, but it was IN RUSSIAN. And I was like, "NOOOOOOO!" Rather, "NYEEEEEEEEEET!" The game is now over. They have started staffing the coffeeshop with Russian girls. There is no escape. There will be no survivors. It will only end in tears. And thousands of dollars in coffee bills.

Friggin' market research.

I'm slightly amused: this one division of the company made, as one of their goals, 60% participation in this one employee program (ideally, 65% or 70%) that I happen to report the results for and they want to enforce this at the director level. To be fair, their participation last year was 53%. I find it amusingly stupid because

  1. we can't and won't report in the manner they want
  2. they didn't ask whether we could or would
  3. it's utterly stupid to pin your assessment of a director's performance on their subordinates' participation in this stupid program which doesn't really add any value at all
  4. where the hell did they get the idea that more is better, that the difference between 53% and 60% participation is desirable, worthwhile, or significant?
  5. the interim reports are risible, because it's nearly third quarter and they're at 26%. I know from last year that half of the participation is in November and December, with probably 10% being in the last week of the year alone. Are they scrambling because they think they won't make it? Are they worried? I want to know. But, alas, there are a few layers of management between me, the maker of reports, and them, the end users, and it is probably best that way.
I've got to get out of here.
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Danger: RUSSIANS IN THE COFFEESHOP! | 5 comments (5 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
Whatever you do, don't undertip by georgeha (2.00 / 0) #1 Wed Sep 10, 2008 at 10:08:32 AM EST
it can be taken as aggression against a local Russian populace, and Putin will have to invade.

Russian? by nightflameblue (2.00 / 0) #2 Wed Sep 10, 2008 at 10:20:00 AM EST
Doomed. You are doomed.

Da. Resistance if futile. by gzt (2.00 / 0) #3 Wed Sep 10, 2008 at 10:37:56 AM EST
Doomed. I need to practice saying, "Oткрой личико".

[ Parent ]
Money-laundering for the Russian Mob. by ammoniacal (2.00 / 0) #4 Wed Sep 10, 2008 at 02:04:30 PM EST
"You're in for a penny, you're in for a pound," is what my Grandma always said.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

Heh by Phage (2.00 / 0) #5 Thu Sep 11, 2008 at 12:07:25 AM EST
Russians - Try Earls Court. I was up to my knees in Engineers and students. Word of advice, don't get the engineers started on how they have to rent their 'Star City' launch pads back from former parts of the USSR. Not happy...

Danger: RUSSIANS IN THE COFFEESHOP! | 5 comments (5 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback