Print Story p.s. i'll find my phone
Diary
By blixco (Fri Aug 08, 2008 at 07:54:04 AM EST) (all tags)
if I looking for phone
him name is samsung blackjack phone\
i lost my phone
512-xxx-xxxx
love,
blixco

P.S. I'll find my phone
Who took my phone
Who found my phone



Besides losing my phone for the fifth time this week, I have had a very busy week without accomplishment. I did get to send out an email to everyone at the company asking to update computers here and at home. Oh and I installed Windows on a workstation that I had deleted Windows from because the person in charge of that workstation told me that it would never, ever use Windows, ever.  Which is why it now has Windows.

I changed the oil in my car to Elf 0W-30, which is actually the product of elves. I know people are against seal clubbing (which is strange...why not let Seal in clubs? Or SEALs in clubs?) for the pelt and oil, but people don't seem to mind Elves being squozen (squozed? squeezin? squeezed!) to death for their sweet, sweet oil. My oil change guy (I have a "guy" for everything) had never seen nor heard of Elf. Those of you in the UK, you've heard of Elf, right?

I did this because Obama said so. I adjusted the air in my tires and change to a zero-weight synthetic oil, and my gas mileage improved 8 percent. That Obama, he's pretty good with the common sense and the whatnot.

While at the local oil changing establishment, I perused the latest in Chap Magazines and found that famous chicks these days all look horrible.  I'm not sure if there's some sort of disease only being passed around by the glitterati (their own brand of herpes simplex?) but man, they all look awful. Malnourished with bad particle physics, and lips the size of my head. HUGE sunglasses that make them all look like ten year old girls, waists that are smaller than most ten year old girls, tiny clothes worn by ten year old girls, a complete lack of body hair, and these huge chests stuffed with cemented silicon gel. Plus these long stringy muscles wrapped in leathery skin and these bizarre alien-looking fingers.... I'm starting to think that, except for the boobs, every woman in hollywood is trying really hard to look like a ten-year-old Angelina Jolie crossed with the alien from Alien.

Thankfully my wait for the car's change to Elf Power was brief. I immediately drove at a high rate of speed to bed the oil in. I know, that makes no sense but I have to have an excuse for driving like a banshee that isn't entirely selfish.

Work has been ludicrous. Busy as hell.  Busiern' a one legged ass kicker at an ass convention. So busy that I ate lunch once this week, and have spent most days in quiet rushed frantic activity for ten or more hours. Sam was off this week, so my office has been boring and sterile and too quiet. I miss Sam. He's good to have around. He emailed me: "Vacation is better than work." I asked him to prove it. I mean, how can you accomplish anything on vacation? Heck, in this week alone I've saved so many people from so much evil technological nonsense that I could be canonized. My second miracle this week was fixing our NFS server while no-one noticed. My first miracle was that windows install.  I think I need a third or maybe as many as a fifth. I could use a fifth. Of anything. Except symphonies.

FUCK.

There's no reason to panic. It's just the brain drain. My brain is draining.

< Why is there no fashion/clothing category? | "Everybody's Got a Camera!" >
p.s. i'll find my phone | 9 comments (9 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
OK, it's blixco's life. . . by nightflameblue (4.00 / 2) #1 Fri Aug 08, 2008 at 08:02:16 AM EST
but somehow written in Bob's style.

Was this diary ghost written by Bob so blixco could help Bob out with the job thing?



Funny, by blixco (4.00 / 1) #3 Fri Aug 08, 2008 at 08:05:40 AM EST
I was thinking of Bob as I was writing this. Obviously I was influenced against my will.
---------------------------------
"You bring the weasel, I'll bring the whiskey." - kellnerin
[ Parent ]
him name is by webwench (4.00 / 1) #2 Fri Aug 08, 2008 at 08:04:27 AM EST

Getting more attention than you since 1998. Ya ya!

ps. i found my phone by blixco (4.00 / 1) #6 Fri Aug 08, 2008 at 12:17:05 PM EST

---------------------------------
"You bring the weasel, I'll bring the whiskey." - kellnerin
[ Parent ]
To find your phone by Plonker Prevention Hotline (4.00 / 4) #4 Fri Aug 08, 2008 at 08:09:54 AM EST
First place to check is the roof of your car.

OH SHI by blixco (2.00 / 0) #5 Fri Aug 08, 2008 at 08:39:17 AM EST

---------------------------------
"You bring the weasel, I'll bring the whiskey." - kellnerin
[ Parent ]
Elf... by Metatone (4.00 / 1) #7 Fri Aug 08, 2008 at 10:24:09 PM EST
That be cheese-eating-surrender-monkey oil.

Be careful, before you know it, you'll be eating croissants.

ZUT ALOR by blixco (4.00 / 1) #8 Sat Aug 09, 2008 at 06:11:03 AM EST

---------------------------------
"You bring the weasel, I'll bring the whiskey." - kellnerin
[ Parent ]
Your dog by jimgon (4.00 / 1) #9 Sun Aug 10, 2008 at 04:14:58 AM EST
My youngest daughter said, "oh, what a cute puppy."  My eldest daughter said, "that's different."




---------------
Technician - "We can't even get decent physical health care. Mental health is like witchcraft here."
p.s. i'll find my phone | 9 comments (9 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback