Print Story I'll pee in a cup, but not for you
By duxup (Mon Aug 25, 2008 at 06:57:10 AM EST) (all tags)
Several Great Stories from Work
duxup ponders staining his deck

Great Stories from Work: New Chairs

The company that acquired us about a year ago apparently has an ergonomics policy and our chairs were deemed unfit for habitation as they didn't fit the requirement that our chairs have 1000 adjustable points (I may or may not be exaggerating the number of adjustable points required).  Our previous chairs were two adjustable points short of the requirement.  Our new chairs have the required 1000 adjustable points, but not the same points as the previous chairs.  Why it is I can't switch my new chair's back support from "solid" to "allows me to lean back" in the new chair with 1000 adjustable points is beyond me but apparently it fits the policy.

Update: I figured out how to make that adjustment.

Here is the model of our new chair.  Our chairs are in black.

Thus ends my chair of doom.

Great Stories from Work: The Chair of Doom

My old work chair had one downside.  There was a trap built into it.  If for some reason you chose to put your feet under your chair there was a lever you could bump with your foot.  This resulted in the chair's vertical controls to release and the chair then dropped with your full weight on your foot that at the time your foot is in a nice awkward vertical position.  The result being you were sort of thrown forward out of your chair (to release the pressure on your foot) on to your desktop or if you were most lucky the floor.

Great Stories from Work: The Testing

A few months ago we got some paperwork we had to sign.  It was from a customer, an unusual event.  It basically said we read and understood the customer's rules for accessing their network.  It was written by the type of manager who clearly does not understand how to work with people, or maybe think of people as people.  Here is an excerpt.

Rule 1:  * * * NO SURPRISES!!! * * *

If that seems vague and stupid, yes it is.

It got better with misspellings, incomplete sentences, and so on.   We had a meeting, expressed our concerns, and signed the paperwork.  Stupid, but whatever, the customer's problems are 100% their own incompetence anyway.  I could call them and tell them that their network was down and going to somehow result in a nuclear detonation that would destroy the earth they'd just ignore me and thank me for calling.

So a few months later (last week) a different customer makes a request of our company.  This one is even more insane.  They want us to 1. Take a drug test.  2. Sign some paperwork that gives them access to our credit report.  The customer would then determine who could and could not access their network.  The drug testing info and credit info is administered by companies hired by the customer.  This isn't my employer doing it, this is totally the customer.

Our company's position is that we can sign the paperwork and continue to work with the customer, or choose not to.  The only catch is that if somehow this became our only customer we'd risk ending our job.  Word has it the same possibly goes for failing the drug test.

This one has not flown well with us.  Pretty much everyone in our group has thrown up the big "no way".  I'm fairly sure at most one dude might fail the drug test, but I guess you never know.  The real issue is our disappointment with this shit being passed from the relationship between the customer and our company, to the customer and us.  I work for my employer, if he wants a drug test or credit check whatever.  However, I'm not going submit to every stupid examination that every customer comes to us with.  Particularly when it seems as if people at my employer are just making promises on our behalf "oh yeah they'll piss in a cup for you guys" without actually engaging us.

As far as I'm concerned my employer should provide their own assurance that some weekend we're going to look at our credit score, then decide to get baked, and then of all things decide to connect to a customer network.  If the relationship between the customer and my employer is so bad that they can't do that then there is another problem.

Granted there are some exceptions to that.  We've got some government contracts that require security clearances and some customers that we visit in person and access sensitive areas.  In those cases I'm cool with whatever is required for access, but this case is not like that.

Another issue is that this customer is a fairly high maintenance, lots of bureaucracy, and low responsiveness kid of customer.  Much like the other customer I mentioned no matter how many flags you (or the customer) raise about a problem you always interface with the customer's employees that you're fairly sure could accidentally kill them self in the process of tying their own shoes.  So if you're one of the few dudes who agrees to the tests and passes, that means every dang issue of theirs is YOUR problem and no matter how big or minor their problems last AGES while conference calls assemble full of people who don't know squat.  Also due to some special circumstances this customer has events that need our engagement fairly frequently...

No I don't think I'll do that.

Olympics: Gold Farming

Gold farmer!

Olympics: Not MP

Funny video of a BBC dude who people think is Micheal Phelps, at least everyone is polite and just taking pics.

Olympics: About Phelps

Our local newspaper ran the headline yesterday that Michael Phelps is thinking about trying "something new" for the next Olympics.  Someone needs to let the local paper know that it is over.  The dude won, and aside from some Olympic highlight videos we will see thru the rest of the Olympics we can forget about this dude for from four years from now to possibly forever.

Bank Robbery Gone Wr... Lazy?

Wait, what the?  Then he?  Huh?

The Deck

The deck on our house could use some sealing.  The wife likes the idea of staining it but I just want to seal it.  The wood has a nice grey weathered look.  I went to the mega home stores this weekend.  That was a mistake.  It was a zoo there and I quickly realized that without much assistance I had no clue what I was doing.  All the products suggested using a "deck wash" before sealing.  I had never heard of that before.  My deck isn't covered in dirt...

< What a dark and stormy weekend... | My Life Sucks >
I'll pee in a cup, but not for you | 20 comments (20 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
Deck wash: Do it. Trust me. by greyrat (4.00 / 1) #1 Mon Aug 25, 2008 at 07:53:10 AM EST
The primary reason is to make the wood more receptive to the stain or sealer. And don't be a wuss.  Stain it. Get a sprayer too. It'll be the best $75 you've ever spent.

Like a paint sprayer? by duxup (4.00 / 1) #2 Mon Aug 25, 2008 at 07:57:27 AM EST
[ Parent ]
Yah. by greyrat (4.00 / 1) #3 Mon Aug 25, 2008 at 08:02:44 AM EST
We used brushes on the first third of our deck. It took three weekends. We used the paring sprayer on the rest. It took less than eight hours -- and it looked better.

[ Parent ]
Will do by duxup (4.00 / 1) #5 Mon Aug 25, 2008 at 08:18:10 AM EST
I was thinking brush, but ... maybe a sprayer is smarter.
[ Parent ]
Stain or sealer is not like paint. by greyrat (2.00 / 0) #8 Mon Aug 25, 2008 at 08:26:39 AM EST
You can't keep "working" the same section to smooth it out. Rebrushing ony makes the stain or sealer bead up in a most unattractive manner. A sprayer does not create as much trouble that way.

[ Parent ]
Not like you're thinking by jayhawk88 (4.00 / 1) #11 Mon Aug 25, 2008 at 08:37:36 AM EST
If you're going to go stain, then I'd stay away from Wagnor-style power paint sprayers. They say they can handle it but the stain is usually not the right consistency, doesn't spray well. Might work if you're willing to drop the cash for a real professional model I suppose but somehow I doubt you're looking to spend $500 on a paint sprayer.

Rather just get one of those hand-held pump sprayers, like you'd use to spray bug or weed spray. A lot cheaper and works a lot better.

Also I'd recommend Cabot for a brand if you can find it.

[ Parent ]
Chair of Doom by CMcKinnon (4.00 / 1) #4 Mon Aug 25, 2008 at 08:08:36 AM EST
We used to have chairs that did that, too. I would occasionally put my feet under my chair, just to shift my position a bit, and would invariably trigger the release lever. When we moved offices a few years back, we got all new chairs that don't have that problem.

IIRC by ammoniacal (4.00 / 1) #6 Mon Aug 25, 2008 at 08:19:10 AM EST
Don't credit checks briefly harm your credit score?

I'd tell them to fuck the fuck off.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

They sure can by duxup (4.00 / 1) #9 Mon Aug 25, 2008 at 08:26:53 AM EST
More so multiple credit checks.  One here or there doesn't hurt, but if you get enough checks they can hurt the score.

That is one of the reasons I have told them to fuck off.

[ Parent ]
decks.. by sasquatchan (4.00 / 1) #7 Mon Aug 25, 2008 at 08:25:22 AM EST
As mr rat said, use a hand-pump sprayer. And buy a good swab the deck brush. Then get an eye-patch. No, wait, wrong list of instructions.

First, use the sprayer to apply the deck cleaner. Then scrub the deck hard. Wash off, and it'll look nice and purty.

Let it dry (1-2 days), fill the pump sprayer with deck sealer (read up on Consumer Reports for what's good, lasts longest, etc). Let sit for however long the sealer says, hose off excess sealer.

(follow the directions, really -- this describes  what my last deck sealing process was).

You can also use a power washer instead of the deck cleaner. But power washer = $$$$, deck cleaner packet = $.

And toe the line of pissing in a bottle, but I find the credit reports more troubling than the drug test.

Thanks for the tips by duxup (4.00 / 1) #10 Mon Aug 25, 2008 at 08:28:16 AM EST
I can't believe I forgot to check consumer reports for the sealer info!  I'll have to do that.
[ Parent ]
DO NOT USE Thompson's Water Seal! by greyrat (4.00 / 1) #19 Tue Aug 26, 2008 at 04:19:51 PM EST
It's crap.

Also, I was referring to an electric paint sprayer. We got a Black & Decker one of nice quality for about $75US. It easily paid for itself in this one use in terms of speed and lack of aggravation. And even with running stain through it, it's in good enough shape to be reused at least a couple more times.

We did use a hand pump sprayer to apply the cleaner and just brooms and a hose to scrub and rinse.

Sasquatch is also onto something with the deck brush: We got a deck swab-thingy with a reservoir for stain and used that to "broom on" the stain on horizontal surfaces. Very fast and neat.

[ Parent ]
NOTED! by duxup (2.00 / 0) #20 Wed Aug 27, 2008 at 09:37:26 AM EST
[ Parent ]
Last time I had a deck by muchagecko (4.00 / 1) #12 Mon Aug 25, 2008 at 08:55:54 AM EST
I stained it with brushes - the hard way.

But it was really fun picking the stain. I went to a local hardware store and had great service as well as a rainbow of colors to choose from.

Hopefully you've got a non-chain hardware store nearby.

"It's the abstract I deal in; software, and donuts." MohammedNiyalSayeed

forget staining by StackyMcRacky (4.00 / 1) #13 Mon Aug 25, 2008 at 09:55:08 AM EST
staining your deck is like coloring your hair.  sure, it seems like a good idea, but you don't realize the maintenance involved!  you'll get wear spots, and the color will look uneven and splotchy, so you'll have to stain again.  lather, rinse, repeat.

seal it, be done with it.

That's what i'm going to do by duxup (2.00 / 0) #15 Mon Aug 25, 2008 at 10:12:53 AM EST
I'm just going to seal it since I really like its current weathered grey look.
[ Parent ]
Ye New Chaire of Doome by wiredog (4.00 / 1) #14 Mon Aug 25, 2008 at 10:04:00 AM EST
It's just waiting for you to get distracted and then, WHAM!, it's gonna attack.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

That's about it by duxup (2.00 / 0) #16 Mon Aug 25, 2008 at 10:13:29 AM EST
When that old chair comes down you hear a yelp from the sitter and usually a loud crash.
[ Parent ]
Peeing in a cup. by dark nowhere (4.00 / 3) #17 Mon Aug 25, 2008 at 02:05:11 PM EST
In that situation, there's only one cup I'd be willing to pee in, and I'd have to cover by claiming Starbucks has a new flavor.

Chill out, snowflake.

Olympics by moonvine (4.00 / 1) #18 Tue Aug 26, 2008 at 05:36:24 AM EST
Have you seen insane usain ?

My partner at worky spent two weeks looking for the perfect chair. It is very similar to yours. I hope it works out. Me, I use whatever is on hand. I'm usually jumping around too much too notice how bad it probably is for my back. Oh well.

I'll pee in a cup, but not for you | 20 comments (20 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback