Print Story WTF Au male swimming
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By cam (Wed Aug 13, 2008 at 01:08:48 PM EST) (all tags)
About as useless as Canada (who doesnt have a medal at all)


Women have four gold, men have none. Phelps is not an excuse.

Atrocious

Wonder if the Zimbabwe medal count will inflate by several orders of magnitude before the swimming is over?

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WTF Au male swimming | 49 comments (49 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
If I ran the Olympics by muchagecko (4.00 / 3) #1 Wed Aug 13, 2008 at 01:24:15 PM EST
everyone would get a medal. Then they'd all be useless/valuable.

"It's the abstract I deal in; software, and donuts." MohammedNiyalSayeed
Zimbabwe needs a new treasurer by cam (4.00 / 5) #5 Wed Aug 13, 2008 at 02:11:44 PM EST
Canadian swim team = Jamaican bobsled team by spacejack (4.00 / 2) #2 Wed Aug 13, 2008 at 01:40:01 PM EST
Says a former Canadian (non-olympic) swimmer.

Canada could use John Candy as coach by cam (4.00 / 1) #7 Wed Aug 13, 2008 at 02:14:52 PM EST
It would be awesome. You could make ethnic jokes about "Nice run eh".

cam
Freedom, liberty, equity and an Australian Republic

[ Parent ]
Dude John Candy is dead by debacle (4.00 / 1) #24 Thu Aug 14, 2008 at 03:33:53 AM EST
You insensitive clod. How would you feel if I started making humorous references involving Steve Irwin?

IF YOU HAVE TWO FIRLES THOROWNF MONEY ART SUOCIDE GIRLS STRIPPER HPW CAN YPUS :OSE?!?!?!?(elcevisides).

[ Parent ]
Crikey! by sasquatchan (4.00 / 2) #28 Thu Aug 14, 2008 at 03:42:20 AM EST


[ Parent ]
I am stung by cam (4.00 / 3) #33 Thu Aug 14, 2008 at 04:58:45 AM EST
that you removed that ray of hope.

cam
Freedom, liberty, equity and an Australian Republic

[ Parent ]
Funniest thing is . . . by slozo (4.00 / 1) #44 Thu Aug 14, 2008 at 09:32:00 AM EST
. . . I didn't see that joke coming.

[ Parent ]
NPR did a segment on Phelps on my way home by lm (4.00 / 2) #3 Wed Aug 13, 2008 at 01:57:51 PM EST
Turns out he has size 14 feet. He practically has flippers.

There is no more degenerate kind of state than that in which the richest are supposed to be the best.
Cicero, The Republic
He's also 6'4" by ad hoc (4.00 / 2) #11 Wed Aug 13, 2008 at 03:55:56 PM EST
sounds just like me by rhooke (4.00 / 1) #14 Wed Aug 13, 2008 at 05:43:38 PM EST
though i expect he can swim well.

i'm more comfortable floating around a lake, wearing a lifejacket as a diaper, drinking a nice big bottle of imported beer.

[ Parent ]
his height isn't so important by lm (4.00 / 1) #17 Wed Aug 13, 2008 at 06:33:12 PM EST
Tis the size of the fluke that matters.

There is no more degenerate kind of state than that in which the richest are supposed to be the best.
Cicero, The Republic
[ Parent ]
It can be by Greener (4.00 / 1) #18 Wed Aug 13, 2008 at 07:08:35 PM EST
There was one race a couple days ago where the silver medalist lost by a hundredth of a second because she hit the wall with a flat palm instead of pointed fingers. However when you're leading by a body length and a half yeah, it doesn't matter much.

[ Parent ]
No by ad hoc (4.00 / 1) #21 Thu Aug 14, 2008 at 02:44:51 AM EST
It's his size and the ratio of torso to legs. He's all arms and needs fewer strokes per unit distance. Length of legs doesn't matter so much because they go up and down (that is, unlike running, stride length is immaterial). Height being equal, the one with a better reach has a distinct advantage.
--
The three things that make a diamond also make a waffle.
[ Parent ]
Height may help some by lm (4.00 / 1) #26 Thu Aug 14, 2008 at 03:37:51 AM EST
But Phelps is an amazing swimmer for three reasons. He can hold his breath longer than most other swimmers. His feet are larger than most other swimmers. He undulates like a dolphin when swimming underwater. Take away any one of those three things and his performance would be average for the sport.

Don't take my word for it, though. Take the word of others.


There is no more degenerate kind of state than that in which the richest are supposed to be the best.
Cicero, The Republic
[ Parent ]
It's not the height so much, by ad hoc (4.00 / 1) #31 Thu Aug 14, 2008 at 04:52:32 AM EST
it's the ratio of torso to legs.

Don't take my word for it, though. Take the word of others.
--
The three things that make a diamond also make a waffle.

[ Parent ]
Let's see by lm (4.00 / 1) #46 Thu Aug 14, 2008 at 03:55:44 PM EST
On the one hand, we have an article that mentions that several things, including having abnormally large feet and a unique torso to leg ration, that make Phelps such a great swimmer.

On the other hand, we have an article that mentions that all other things being held equal, an ability to exploit a unique stroke due to having unusually large feet and unusual lung capacity make the difference based on observations of Phelps and other swimmers and computer models of an animal thought to be the ideal swimming machine.

I'll take the large feet over the height.


There is no more degenerate kind of state than that in which the richest are supposed to be the best.
Cicero, The Republic
[ Parent ]
You know what? by ad hoc (4.00 / 1) #48 Thu Aug 14, 2008 at 06:57:38 PM EST
Fuck off.

You'd never guess you were from Cincinnati would you?
--
The three things that make a diamond also make a waffle.

[ Parent ]
Like the old saying goes ... by lm (4.00 / 1) #49 Fri Aug 15, 2008 at 02:26:32 AM EST
... you can take a guy out of Ohio but you can't take the Ohio out of a guy.

Oh, wait, I'm still in Ohio.


There is no more degenerate kind of state than that in which the richest are supposed to be the best.
Cicero, The Republic
[ Parent ]
How long until it is over? by marvin (4.00 / 2) #4 Wed Aug 13, 2008 at 02:01:39 PM EST
It is possible to avoid sports reporting most of the year. The olympics mean that every media outlet is saturated with sports reporting on every page, for two weeks. Yeah. Because my life is empty without knowing who won the discus or javelin.

Amount of difference a gold medal (or any other colour) for Canada makes in my life: zero.

Amount of difference that the $2.5 billion or more of tax dollars being wasted on the Whistler 2010 Olympics would make in my family's life: over $500 for every citizen in BC.

Bah. Humbug. Grumble.

Who won the discus? by cam (4.00 / 1) #6 Wed Aug 13, 2008 at 02:13:46 PM EST
I dont have a tv, so this is the entirety of my olympic media saturation.

cam
Freedom, liberty, equity and an Australian Republic

[ Parent ]
They still play discus? by marvin (4.00 / 1) #13 Wed Aug 13, 2008 at 04:59:23 PM EST
Or is it discii? I thought that would have died out a few millenia ago. No idea who won, or if they have even played. No interest in finding out.

I have a tv, but no cable, antenna, or satellite dish. It is for movies and games only.

[ Parent ]
The track meet doesn't start until by miker2 (4.00 / 1) #29 Thu Aug 14, 2008 at 03:54:08 AM EST
tomorrow.  Discus will probably occur over the weekend.

Ah, sociopathy. How warm, how comforting, thy sweet embrace. - MNS
[ Parent ]
Do you live in Vancouver? by Greener (4.00 / 1) #15 Wed Aug 13, 2008 at 05:53:00 PM EST
Rent out your house and spend 2 weeks in Hawaii.

I don't mind paying for them but then I plan on hanging out in Whistler for those two weeks. I might even volunteer for something.

[ Parent ]
Near Kelowna by marvin (4.00 / 1) #42 Thu Aug 14, 2008 at 07:40:40 AM EST
I am fine with taxation for services. I have problems with taxation to fund corporate welfare. If sponsorship can't cover the games, then they shouldn't exist, or should perhaps be scaled back to a more reasonable size. We have bigger problems in BC (pine beetle infestation, homelessness, cost of housing, to name a few) that are getting a miniscule fraction of the funding and attention that are being wasted on the olympics.

Bread and circuses. Not for me, thanks.


[ Parent ]
The AU female swimmers are HOT by miker2 (4.00 / 3) #8 Wed Aug 13, 2008 at 02:21:49 PM EST
that Rice chick is pretty smokin'.

Also, I bet that the Zimbabwe swimmer hasn't even been there in at least a decade.


Ah, sociopathy. How warm, how comforting, thy sweet embrace. - MNS
yes by MillMan (4.00 / 2) #10 Wed Aug 13, 2008 at 03:22:18 PM EST
although those oversized lats are a bit disturbing. Still hot bods all around.

When I'm imprisoned as an enemy combatant, will you blog about it?

[ Parent ]
swimmers by cam (4.00 / 1) #12 Wed Aug 13, 2008 at 04:34:14 PM EST
have the best physiques on the planet. They are rock stars in Au.

cam
Freedom, liberty, equity and an Australian Republic

[ Parent ]
gymnasts by gzt (4.00 / 2) #16 Wed Aug 13, 2008 at 06:02:20 PM EST
Well, noncompetitive ones past their prime who still, uh, tumble.

[ Parent ]
That's largely because by yicky yacky (4.00 / 2) #43 Thu Aug 14, 2008 at 09:11:54 AM EST

Australia has no rock stars [1].

[1] - apart from those electricians.


----
Vacuity abhors a vacuum.
[ Parent ]
Doesn't compare to the beach volleyball chicks by debacle (4.00 / 3) #25 Thu Aug 14, 2008 at 03:36:24 AM EST
Pick a country, any country. Not even close, really.

IF YOU HAVE TWO FIRLES THOROWNF MONEY ART SUOCIDE GIRLS STRIPPER HPW CAN YPUS :OSE?!?!?!?(elcevisides).

[ Parent ]
I saw Ian Thorpe on TV the other day by MillMan (4.00 / 2) #9 Wed Aug 13, 2008 at 03:12:03 PM EST
Dude was overweight. Yeah, he's retired, but sporting a little beer gut?

perhaps AUian researchers have fallen behind in the performance enhancing drugs race...

When I'm imprisoned as an enemy combatant, will you blog about it?

Suprised how well Great Britain is doing by jump the ladder (4.00 / 4) #19 Thu Aug 14, 2008 at 12:11:55 AM EST
Normally we'd just have a bronze in the small bore rifles at this stage but we've got a couple of golds already and the rowing hasn't even got properly going.

Yes but by anonimouse (4.00 / 1) #41 Thu Aug 14, 2008 at 06:58:37 AM EST
they're aleady started some of the equestrian events and the Aussies have already been stealing some of "our" medals.

Girls come and go but a mortgage is for 25 years -- JtL
[ Parent ]
As a Brit by nebbish (4.00 / 3) #20 Thu Aug 14, 2008 at 02:19:46 AM EST
I think I'm meant to engage in some sort of banter with you now about how crap you are. But the whole thing baffles me. Sorry.

--------
It's political correctness gone mad!

As soon as krikket by sasquatchan (4.00 / 3) #27 Thu Aug 14, 2008 at 03:40:50 AM EST
is an olympic sport...


[ Parent ]
They arent even good enough for a bronze by cam (4.00 / 2) #34 Thu Aug 14, 2008 at 04:59:37 AM EST
in that sport either. Maybe if they start giving out pueter or wooden spoon medals?

cam
Freedom, liberty, equity and an Australian Republic

[ Parent ]
We're OK at Rugby and Formula 1 by jump the ladder (4.00 / 2) #36 Thu Aug 14, 2008 at 05:32:30 AM EST
So these should be included in the Olympics immediately!

[ Parent ]
What about darts, Morris dancing by georgeha (4.00 / 2) #37 Thu Aug 14, 2008 at 05:43:16 AM EST
and drag racing?


[ Parent ]
Morris dancing by jump the ladder (4.00 / 1) #45 Thu Aug 14, 2008 at 09:38:37 AM EST
Just like cricket, the ex-colonies are much better at it. I believe that Sri Lanka and Zimbabwe are the morris dancing countries to beat.

[ Parent ]
Where's Hackett ? by Phage (4.00 / 1) #22 Thu Aug 14, 2008 at 02:52:57 AM EST
And wossisface - the bloke with a Polish name ?
Of course I am hopelessly out of date...

Put a lamb in a bikini at the end of the pool by debacle (4.00 / 3) #23 Thu Aug 14, 2008 at 03:32:25 AM EST
Problem solved.

IF YOU HAVE TWO FIRLES THOROWNF MONEY ART SUOCIDE GIRLS STRIPPER HPW CAN YPUS :OSE?!?!?!?(elcevisides).

wrong ethnicity by cam (4.00 / 1) #32 Thu Aug 14, 2008 at 04:58:07 AM EST
the New Zealanders would have 18 gold if that was the case.

cam
Freedom, liberty, equity and an Australian Republic

[ Parent ]
Right ethnicity by debacle (4.00 / 3) #35 Thu Aug 14, 2008 at 04:59:49 AM EST
If sheep fucking were an olympic event, Scotland would have the gold, followed closely by Australia and New Zealand.

IF YOU HAVE TWO FIRLES THOROWNF MONEY ART SUOCIDE GIRLS STRIPPER HPW CAN YPUS :OSE?!?!?!?(elcevisides).

[ Parent ]
New Zealand is a country of four million people by lm (4.00 / 1) #47 Thu Aug 14, 2008 at 04:27:53 PM EST
And five hundred million sheep. You do the math.

Like Russell Crowe infamously said, ``Losing my virginity was a very odd experience. Her mother was right there watching the whole thing. When we were done, the mother looked and me and said `you BAAAAAAAAAAAAHstard.'''


There is no more degenerate kind of state than that in which the richest are supposed to be the best.
Cicero, The Republic
[ Parent ]
I'm not sure why Canadians go to the by Clipper Ship (4.00 / 2) #30 Thu Aug 14, 2008 at 04:21:00 AM EST
summer Olympics. I mean, we hardly sponsor the Winter Olympians in this country and they actually bring home medals.

---------------

Destroy All Planets

google ad by Merekat (4.00 / 2) #38 Thu Aug 14, 2008 at 06:11:52 AM EST
German gay male dating site.
Just saying.

and no one even mentioned men's synchronized by georgeha (4.00 / 2) #39 Thu Aug 14, 2008 at 06:20:24 AM EST
diving.


[ Parent ]
That's Unaustralian! by Scrymarch (4.00 / 3) #40 Thu Aug 14, 2008 at 06:22:35 AM EST
They went out there and won Bronze! Bronze for Australia!

Listen to me Barry. I’m an iron-man, your brother’s an iron-man, your mum’s an iron-man. We’re all iron-men. And what have we got in common? We’ve all bagged The Bermagui Bronze! And now it’s your turn! Go out there and come third! Come third like a real Australian athlete!


The Political Science Department of the University of Woolloomooloo

WTF Au male swimming | 49 comments (49 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback