Print Story once upon a time in edmonton
Furries
By misslake (Mon Jul 07, 2008 at 05:17:14 PM EST) (all tags)
i went with megpye to a little independent 24 hour coffee shop on jasper ave.

there we saw something we had never ever seen before.



it's a very hip and cool little place, with a huge cork board in the front and a bench dedicated to fliers advertising art, music and activist happenings. there is always local art on the walls, all for sale. the place is filled with a mishmash of tables, couches and chairs. there is a little stage near the back and there is live music and an open stage a few night each week.
they have a few internet terminals there, all very public and open.
the owner is a real hep old cat, with a long white pony tail and the back of the coffee counter filled with knickknacks, left-wing political cartoons, and his marriage commissioner certificate.

while i sipped my cherry green tea and megpye stirred her london fog, i glanced over at the nearest screen, giggled and said, "omg that guy is looking at porn!" there was a video of a naked blond on a bed playing on his screen.
"what? where?" megpye rolled her eyes.
 i stared into my tea, picked up my spoon.  "there" i indicated with my head.
she casually looked over, "aw, i missed it!" she said sadly. "he's just looking at a stupid video of some dog now."
we smiled at each other, and then i glanced back over at him.
"oh my god... that's... it's the girl and..."
the scene changed, and there was the blond on the bed, calling over the dog.
we were both shocked and awed. horrified, we could not turn away.
the dog finished, got off, and the guy shifted his weight in his chair, and closed the video player window.
we were both stunned.
"oh my god"
we gripped out hot drinks and stared at each other.
the guy started checking his email.
"i can't believe he just did that!" i hissed.
"i- have- never, ever! seen that before." said megpye, laboriously "you?"
i just shook my head.
"well, huh." she said ponderously. "you know, i've never really thought about that before either, you know, never, uh, thought it all through. i mean, i just saw it with my own eyes, but i wonder how that, you know, worked exactly."
she had taken the whole thing much more analytically and scientifically then i had.
"i can't believe he was just casually watching bestiality porn in public on jasper ave."
i didn't really hear what she was saying.

"i mean, like, er, well..." she struggled to find the right words, "i just would have thought that if you were, or-well,  i mean, if someone was fucking a dog," she looked away into the distance and suddenly spoke confidently, "i would have assumed they'd do it 'doggy style' "

you learn something new every day.

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once upon a time in edmonton | 24 comments (24 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
What's the deal with those coffee shops? by Clipper Ship (2.00 / 0) #1 Mon Jul 07, 2008 at 05:28:09 PM EST
They're a dime a dozen out West. It's like those fake English pubs where you can buy all the faux-old furniture from distributors.

In the end it's all commerce, just for a smaller group than the bigger ones. Either way, your money did nothing to help anyone but the guy who owns it.

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Destroy All Planets

i haven't noticed by misslake (2.00 / 0) #2 Mon Jul 07, 2008 at 05:34:50 PM EST
any more of them then back east. about the same number as in ontario i'd say. the starbucks are bigger out here though, there are big freestanding ones with parking lots and drive throughs here.

[ Parent ]
and...? by garlic (2.00 / 0) #6 Mon Jul 07, 2008 at 07:21:03 PM EST


[ Parent ]
They are as fake as Starbucks. by Clipper Ship (2.00 / 0) #10 Tue Jul 08, 2008 at 03:56:40 AM EST
They offer an illusion of some kind of grass-roots collectivity, but they are just another brand.

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Destroy All Planets

[ Parent ]
You're lucky by spacejack (4.00 / 1) #11 Tue Jul 08, 2008 at 05:31:33 AM EST
to have a Starbucks that provides a venue for local artists and musicians. Around here they just serve overpriced coffee and snacks and they all look exactly the same.

[ Parent ]
I don't drink coffee, so it doesn't matter to me. by Clipper Ship (1.00 / 1) #12 Tue Jul 08, 2008 at 05:39:20 AM EST
However, the notion that commerce ceases to be just about making money, and not about some kind of charity, when fewer people are participating in it is silly.

However, I did read an article the other day talking about a student who has been running plays in Starbucks around the here, so I guess even the big evil guys are getting in on the fun.....

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Destroy All Planets

[ Parent ]
Yeah those independent entrepreneurs by spacejack (4.00 / 1) #13 Tue Jul 08, 2008 at 05:50:17 AM EST
who try to be creative, support local culture and do things their own way are so irritating. Why don't they just go and work for large corporations like every other right-thinking person.

[ Parent ]
Why is their desire to make money more by Clipper Ship (2.00 / 0) #15 Tue Jul 08, 2008 at 06:51:21 AM EST
righteous than someone else's? Starbucks was one of those once, too.

If you're sucking up to that notion, you're hilarious. And anyway, like I said above, Starbucks in my area is staging mini-plays in their stores anyway.

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Destroy All Planets

[ Parent ]
lol are you serious? by spacejack (2.00 / 0) #16 Tue Jul 08, 2008 at 06:59:46 AM EST
Why buy a red car instead of a beige one? Why buy a ticket to see one mover over another? Why bother choosing anything just because you like it?

[ Parent ]
Not my argument at all. by Clipper Ship (2.00 / 0) #17 Tue Jul 08, 2008 at 10:52:16 AM EST
I'm saying a small coffee shop designed to look more ethically authentic than a Starbucks is just yet another part of commerce. It is no more moral than Starbucks, despite the very strange image that kind of coffee shop has for reasons unknown, but likely rooted in 1960's, white college culture.

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Destroy All Planets

[ Parent ]
I don't know who you're arguing with / against. by garlic (2.00 / 0) #18 Tue Jul 08, 2008 at 11:53:07 AM EST


[ Parent ]
Oh, so you don't support these types of by Clipper Ship (2.00 / 0) #19 Tue Jul 08, 2008 at 02:30:30 PM EST
businesses? You don't have a notion that true art is somehow found in faux-bohemian coffee shops? You suspect that a business is a business and that if Joe Old-Hippie had the opportunity he'd sell out faster than the rest of generation?

I'm interested!

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Destroy All Planets

[ Parent ]
sometimes by garlic (2.00 / 0) #22 Tue Jul 08, 2008 at 07:18:52 PM EST
a coffee is just a coffee and not a political statement.


[ Parent ]
Depends on your politics and where by Clipper Ship (2.00 / 0) #24 Wed Jul 09, 2008 at 03:19:14 AM EST
you buy it, I guess.

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Destroy All Planets

[ Parent ]
You should have told the guy by muchagecko (4.00 / 1) #3 Mon Jul 07, 2008 at 05:56:36 PM EST
"I've got a puppy at home".

It just goes to show that people will do anything for money or sex.

"It's the abstract I deal in; software, and donuts." MohammedNiyalSayeed

This is FP worthy... by superdiva (4.00 / 1) #4 Mon Jul 07, 2008 at 06:39:32 PM EST
Really, this diary was all vintage Canadian-humour-CBB level blogging.

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I agree by Phil Urich (4.00 / 1) #21 Tue Jul 08, 2008 at 06:28:17 PM EST
although it's possible I have a biased opinion when it comes to diary entries that even mention Edmonton, much less are set there.

[ Parent ]
I'm very glad by Driusan (4.00 / 1) #5 Mon Jul 07, 2008 at 06:51:13 PM EST
That you spelled bestiality properly. There are far too many people who think it has 2 As. I've gotten into two arguments about it so far this week (including the weekend. Not, like, just on Monday.)

But having never watched any, or thought about it deeper than on an etymological level until now, and speaking of taking it analytically, I'd imagine that if one were to fuck a dog, the position would depend on the sex of the dog vs that of the human. If one (female) were to fuck a dog (male), I can't really see doggy style working. It would probably need to be missionary. If one (male) were to fuck a dog (female), then I can't see anything but doggy style working. If one (male) were to fuck a dog (male), it would probably depend on who was fucking whom. If one (female) were to fuck a dog (female), then the female, in either case would need to be on her back, I'd imagine.

Any other combinations are left as an exercise to the reader.

--
Vive le Montréal libre.

I have never before by garlic (4.00 / 2) #7 Mon Jul 07, 2008 at 07:23:11 PM EST
considered the idea of homosexual bestiality. Not that I really wanted to.


[ Parent ]
Almost sig-worthy. by wiredog (4.00 / 2) #8 Tue Jul 08, 2008 at 01:54:15 AM EST
But not by me.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

[ Parent ]
Neither have I. by Driusan (4.00 / 2) #9 Tue Jul 08, 2008 at 02:15:54 AM EST
I just consider it an exercise in combinatorics.. but then, if I was a math teacher I would probably have questions like:

"1b. How many combinations of human-dog couplings could we have if we include chicks with dicks as a distinct sex? Show your work. (Assume either dog or human can be hermaphroditic.)"

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Vive le Montréal libre.

[ Parent ]
The guy by komet (2.00 / 0) #14 Tue Jul 08, 2008 at 05:51:35 AM EST
probably gets off the idea of shocking some hot women with his depraved porn. I once had to explain to some shocked teenage girls that yes, that guy over there is, indeed, eating shit out of his tupperware.

Also I am sad that you will not be in Toronto when I am!

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<ni> komet: You are functionally illiterate as regards trashy erotica.

he didn't even notice us. by misslake (2.00 / 0) #20 Tue Jul 08, 2008 at 04:40:27 PM EST
he didn't look up from his email/porn browsing and look around the place.
we were sitting behind and a little off to the side. he didn't seem to be doing it just to shock others, if he was then the thrill is in seeing who is watching. he didn't seem to see anyone else in the place.

you should stay in toronto untill i get back.
or, move to toronto in the fall. we can get a nice apartment, me, you, ni and MissTrish maybe too. it would be awesome.

you are also welcome to come and visit the desert castle. i would take you to see the bison and the prarie dogs!

[ Parent ]
I would love to do all those things by komet (2.00 / 0) #23 Tue Jul 08, 2008 at 10:56:37 PM EST
as always, the limiting factor is time, and money. I am endeavouring to rectify both those problems.

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<ni> komet: You are functionally illiterate as regards trashy erotica.
[ Parent ]
once upon a time in edmonton | 24 comments (24 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback