AFKS and Mrs. AFKS have been trying to adopt now for seven years. All that time, the waiting list. Every year, they go through the same discussion. The paperwork all needs to be refiled every year because of some weird quirk in the way the adoption agency works, even though their supposed position on the list remains.
So, every year they fight about it because Mrs. AFKS is fully invested in baby-mania, and AFKS is very, "if we get a baby, great. If not, we've got other shit we could be doing, so that's cool too."
However, Mrs. AFKS's obsession with baby-mania grows stronger every year. AFKS says, every year, "this is the last year I go through this again with you. I'm tired of watching you sit around crying because you don't yet have a baby. There's other things you can do with your life. There's other things we can do as a husband and wife. There's a life to be lived, and I won't watch you spend another year living it on the couch, waiting, preparing, for something that's pretty likely to never happen."
And every year she pulls out the trump card, "sign up again or I leave you."
And every year, he does.
Until this year. She pulled the trump, and he said, "OK, I don't have the energy to fight this anymore. I don't want you to leave, but if you feel that the only two paths you can take are 'baby' or 'leave,' then that's your choice to make."
She left. And immediately contacted a lawyer with all the adoption papers that he signed last year to try and get the lawyer to say that these are legally binding documents and he HAS to stay with her until the adoption goes through no matter what.
Seeing as how the agency itself dumps the documents at the end of every year, he's not worried about that.
But he has gotten constant phone calls from her family saying that he's throwing away all of his friends and his marriage and blah, blah, blah. His response is always the same, "I didn't tell her to leave. It's her choice."
And I watch two of my best friends finish the war that started nearly six years ago when the adoption process hit its first hiccough and AFKS realized this isn't a sure thing.
The lectures from friends and family outside of me all revolve around the argument that "the baby is everything. You wait until the baby comes, no matter how long it takes." He's just tired of watching his wife live her life as a pile of goo.
It's gotten so bad that she got busy at work one week so he took care of all the housework that week. Now, I don't know about the rest of you, but in my house when one of us surprises the other by taking over all of their house chores, the general feeling is, "THAT FUCKING RULES!" What she took from it? "HE DOESN'T NEED ME FOR ANYTHING! WHY AM I EVEN HERE?"
So, now, rather than try to figure out where they are, Mrs. AFKS is talking to the lawyer trying to force AFKS to stay in the adoption game which she's agreed, year after year, to let him drop out of if it doesn't work out this time around.
He's fed up and done with it.
I think a night of drunken stupidity is in order. Soon.
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