So Friday last I'm down at the clinic selling some plasma and I gaze oer yon at the car dealership next to the Free (like mp3's and NPR) clinic and I see this little red car sitting there, all lonely and whatnot. I decide to coast the 86 Escort over there (since it was downhill from the clinic ya know) to have a look-see at it since, well, the 86 Escort, while probably the best car ever made, has seen better days. This short little curvy blonde saleslady comes over to me and I try to tell her "I'm just looking blah blah blah" but
she had great tits she puts some kind of spell on me and the next thing you know I'm driving off the lot with a brand new 1997 Chevy Nova!! I got a good deal too, only 475 plasma payments and she'll be all mine!!! MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
I know what you're thinking, like, uh, Bob ol buddy, like, shouldn't you like get a job or something, so you can pay your bills, cause, like, your body can only make so much plasma and you're correct of course. I can't deny you that. Right-O. In fact I've been sending out resumes and networking (I told the waitress at Trader Jacks to be on the lookout for me for any six figure jobs that she might hear about) and all that, so fear not, my favourite imaginary pals, gainful employment is surely just oer the horizon! In the meantime I figure I can make a few extra bucks by selling crack to teenagers and stealing the copper from abandoned houses around here since, well, 98% of the houses in Clevia are abandoned right now! BWUAHAHAHHAHAHA!
In other news we bar-eh-queued salmon, chicken breasts, and cheeseburgers weekend last, all of which came out just great. Please to feel free to offer up your favourite grilling ideas!
In yet more other news my Fantasy Baseball team is mired in second place. I know I know, many people out there who own make believe baseball teams would be thrilled to be in second place, but gall darnit, I want to WIN. WIN WIN WIN. I want to crush my opponents and make them sorry they ever invited me to join their make believe league. I want them to suffer. I want to cast a plague of locusts on their sorry pathetic lives!! I want their family members and neighbours to suffer too!! MWUAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! BWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!
NG has been dragging me off to Mass with her and whilst I have no intentions over ever joining a church, I must say that visiting and listening to the guy with the baggy white robes is making me a much nicer person. Indeed, I'll never be a saint but I lately I have nothing but kind and generous thoughts for my fellow man. Peace be with yuns, my fellow scalawags, peace be with yuns.
Right - I'm off to trade some food stamps for cigarettes!
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