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Working life
By ReallyEvilCanine (Wed Jun 11, 2008 at 04:14:00 AM EST) A Day in the Life, bureaucracy, parthenogenesis, fuckwit, pie (all tags)
We Don't Say 'No'

That didn't go over so well.

x-posted to da brog.



OK, I think I have a solution to this problem. It's going to take a bit of ess-plaining though.

And as I'm doing this LookOut pops up one of its sporadic update notices to inform me that some of the mail which was sent to me over the past four days has finally been passed on by the central server.


From: Some Guy [mailto:some.guy@$Megacorp.com]
Sent: 10. June 2008 14:45
To: really.evil.canine@$Megacorp.com
Subject: Callback request for Ticket # AJ-10-E14

Hi

The customer from ticket AJ-10-E14 did call in and asked to be called back. Can you give him a call ?

Regards,
Some Guy
$MegaCorp Core Care

Oh, go blow it out your ass.


From: Really Evil Canine [mailto:really.evil.canine@$Megacorp.com]
Sent: 10. June 2008 16:12
To: Some Guy
Subject: RE: Callback request for Ticket # AJ-10-E14

Hi

No. I'm too busy actually working on his ticket. And by not calling him I've managed to find the problem for which I'm in the middle of writing a solution, said solution to be posted inside the next half hour.

Regards,
REC


Fifteen minutes later Meathead was on the phone. While I wasn't expecting him to tell me that my request for the big, fuck-off 45" monitor was finally going to be approved (denied, again), neither did I think I was in trouble. It was probably another discussion about the latest developments with $BigPrinterCo to determine if there's any chance of unfucking the system they set their worst and dullest upon.

"What the fuck, REC?"
"Huh?"
"I just got my ass chewed out by $DriedUpBitchManager. What the fuck?"
"Huh?"
"That mail you sent."

I tried to think. It's been four years since the "E-Mail Incident" which managed to escalate it's way up to the fucking $BigCorp boardroom inside 36 hours. Had to lay low for a few months as well as outperform third line support worldwide to get that one to blow over. I haven't sent anything like it since. Did someone get upset about the Helpful Hints mail I try to send out every month with various suggestions and methods to ease work?

"Don't ever tell Core Care 'No.'"

Oh.

"When they tell you a customer wants a call-back, agree."
"But I told the mook that I was in the middle of writing the solution."
"Don't ever tell Core Care 'No.'"
"Uhh... OK. So I now have to call the fuckwits?"
"No, but don't ever tell Core Care that."
"Didn't plan to. So we're cool?"
"No we're definitely not cool. When you buy me a Maß of beer, that's when we'll be cool." Six euros to get out of the doghouse? Deal.

And just as I finish typing this there's a new mail which just came in from Core Care...

< Poem of the Day: "Aubade" by Philip Larkin | Five for fighting. >
A Day in the Life | 13 comments (13 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
Top tip by ad hoc (4.00 / 1) #1 Wed Jun 11, 2008 at 04:30:08 AM EST
Don't call back until you've finished doing what you're doing.
--
The three things that make a diamond also make a waffle.
You should have known that by now by debacle (2.00 / 0) #2 Wed Jun 11, 2008 at 04:39:21 AM EST
You can never say "No." You can say "I'll look into it." or "I'll see what I can do," but you can't say "No." to anyone.

IF YOU HAVE TWO FIRLES THOROWNF MONEY ART SUOCIDE GIRLS STRIPPER HPW CAN YPUS :OSE?!?!?!?(elcevisides).

Or failing that by ad hoc (4.00 / 4) #3 Wed Jun 11, 2008 at 04:43:30 AM EST
use the parental approach: "Go ask your mother".
--
The three things that make a diamond also make a waffle.
[ Parent ]
yeah by gzt (4.00 / 1) #4 Wed Jun 11, 2008 at 04:47:05 AM EST
I mean, I'd even consider saying "Yes" and then not doing it until I was done with everything.

[ Parent ]
No, are you crazy?!?! by debacle (4.00 / 4) #5 Wed Jun 11, 2008 at 05:01:59 AM EST
You can never, ever, EVER say "Yes!" That's even worse than saying "No!"

You can't empower those fucks, and you can't let them think that you have time for them.


IF YOU HAVE TWO FIRLES THOROWNF MONEY ART SUOCIDE GIRLS STRIPPER HPW CAN YPUS :OSE?!?!?!?(elcevisides).

[ Parent ]
well, I said I'd consider it. by gzt (2.00 / 0) #6 Wed Jun 11, 2008 at 05:24:29 AM EST
Sometimes it's harmless.

[ Parent ]
Sig etiquette by ReallyEvilCanine (2.00 / 0) #7 Wed Jun 11, 2008 at 05:52:12 AM EST
You're supposed to link to the diary/comment from which you lift a sig. This is important to me because I've forgotten from whence that one came.
--
I'm imagining dancing banananana here.
Vote rmg for editor

the internet: amplifier of stupidity -- discordia

[ Parent ]
Like I even remember. [nt] by debacle (2.00 / 0) #8 Wed Jun 11, 2008 at 06:56:25 AM EST


IF YOU HAVE TWO FIRLES THOROWNF MONEY ART SUOCIDE GIRLS STRIPPER HPW CAN YPUS :OSE?!?!?!?(elcevisides).

[ Parent ]
What, your Google is broken? (nt) by notafurry (2.00 / 0) #10 Wed Jun 11, 2008 at 09:56:01 AM EST
not telling

[ Parent ]
LCC is full of people like that by Herring (2.00 / 0) #9 Wed Jun 11, 2008 at 08:53:44 AM EST
Who say "Yes" when they mean "I have no intention whatsoever of doing anything". Fucking annoying.

christ, we're all old now - StackyMcRacky
[ Parent ]
Indeed by Phil the Canuck (2.00 / 0) #11 Thu Jun 12, 2008 at 02:59:05 AM EST
We have a site manager who tells all of her staff that they must respond to all emails, even if it's just to say, "OK, thanks".

So you always know, if you get an email that just says "OK, thanks", you're being ignored.

[ Parent ]
read receipts? by garlic (2.00 / 0) #12 Thu Jun 12, 2008 at 02:15:35 PM EST


[ Parent ]
I've had this experience too.. by infinitera (2.00 / 0) #13 Sat Jun 14, 2008 at 08:21:41 PM EST
with customers that think their every thought is important and needs immediate response. I generally respond that I am unavailable at the moment and they should follow-up in the ticket if they have anything new to add.

This past Friday for example, I got a lot of tickets resolved because I did not respond to any phone calls or IMs regarding phone calls. Sometimes the word from on high is like "call them to calm them down", which can also be done, but it's not really related to resolution, but rather a combination of expectation management and people wanting to show their bosses that they are "on top of it".

[…] a professional layabout. Which I aspire to be, but am not yet. — CheeseburgerBrown

A Day in the Life | 13 comments (13 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback