Slowly we go, one by one eliminating things that are OK to discuss with other people unless you want to get into a war. Because, as careful as we are to not say the wrong individual word, we're not careful at all about calling each other shit-eating fuck-faces because we dared to disagree with each other on ever important topics like religion, politics, toys, hobbies, the best way to react to zombie threats, mothers, schools, cancer, sex, space exploration, oceanic studies, extinction, global warming, global cooling, whether or not humanity as a whole deserves its ride on this little rock, and pretty much anything else people hold as idealistic religious concepts more than thoughts.
Because, really, it's all thoughts. Deep down, no matter how thoroughly you believe the Care Bears and Strawberry Shortcake formed an everlasting bond with your immortal soul, it's still just a thought floating around in your otherwise empty head.
Not to say that your thoughts can't be important to you. No, no, that's a twist of the proverbial knife I do not intend. Just try to keep in mind that your thoughts on Hello Kitty's impact on western civilization are almost as important to me as my thoughts on Cybertron's Golden Age are to you and I'll try to be respectful the next time you bring up the importance of Yogi Bear's picnic basket obsession on the formative years of American Children in the seventies.
Keep in mind not everyone views salsa choice as a religion. But those people don't matter because they've obviously gotten their priorities ALL out of whack.
See, what I'm trying to say, to quote a great philosopher is, "can. . .can't. . .can't we all just. . .just get a. . .just get along?"
And the answer to that question is likely no. Why? Because somebody just insulted your favorite baseball team and you just happen to know their weakness is a certain football team that had a QB retire at the end of last season. Time to get all Jack Bauer on their ass.
Except Jack Bristo is cooler, and his wife was smart enough to not get killed.
But hey, it's all about respect. Except when it comes to things you can't respect. Like watersports porn. Seriously, why?
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