Print Story EPIC... uh, SUCCESS
Motorbikes
By Rogerborg (Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 09:50:22 AM EST) (all tags)
I am now fully qualified to deliver pizza-pies on a Faggio.  Whole new vistas of possibility open up before me.  Should I ride for the horizon, or return to the stupefying safety of the cage?


EPIC INDECISION.

A 2 hour road ride is just enough time to:

  1. Get used to handling a bike at commuter speeds.
  2. Gain some confidence in one's abilities.
  3. Realise that one missed lifesaver is the difference between zen and road rash.
  4. Learn to recognise the natural predator of the motorcycle, the white van.
Hmmm.  We'll see.  I may just buy a chromejob and polish it in the driveway at weekends.  Jerk me around, as usual ---------->


Oh, operation Fit Back In Kilt.  Finally got to sub 12 stone (144 lbs, or 182 Euros) this morning, down from 14 stone at Xebusmass.  I think I'll drop to 11, then see if I still feel manly.

Secret? Eat less, you greedy bastards.

< Weekend Report | It's official >
EPIC... uh, SUCCESS | 27 comments (27 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
Hey congrats. by blixco (4.00 / 2) #1 Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 09:57:44 AM EST
Watch out for diesel spills, too.  And old ladies.  And anyone who doesn't look you right in the eye when you're looking at them.  And the British. And stalled chicken wagons. And cops. And potholes. And train tracks.  And those metal panels that they'll put down to temporarily cover a hole in the road. And other cyclists. And puddles. And snowplows. And sheep. And sand in corners. And rocks. And junebugs. And anything larger than a fly hitting your facemask. And tree limbs. And everything, all the time.
---------------------------------
"You bring the weasel, I'll bring the whiskey." - kellnerin
And the British by wiredog (4.00 / 2) #2 Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 10:11:24 AM EST
I hear they drive on the wrong side of the road over there. Scary.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

[ Parent ]
and mums driving RangeRovers drinking tea by georgeha (4.00 / 1) #3 Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 10:35:21 AM EST
over here they're called soccer moms, who drive SUVs and drink Starbucks.

Avoid sheep, too, they can leave a road a slippery mess.

Congrats, I have yet to start mine, though tonight looks hopeful.


[ Parent ]
I think I mentioned sheep, by blixco (4.00 / 1) #5 Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 10:58:52 AM EST
and I should have mentioned soccer moms but wasn sure how that translates.
---------------------------------
"You bring the weasel, I'll bring the whiskey." - kellnerin
[ Parent ]
There's a lot of sheep in North England by georgeha (4.00 / 2) #6 Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 11:01:51 AM EST
err, Scotland, so they should be mentioned twice.


[ Parent ]
Never, EVAR look them in the eye. by nightflameblue (4.00 / 1) #4 Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 10:53:36 AM EST
There's some weird deal when it comes to two wheeled drivers looking four wheeled drivers in the eye where the four wheeled driver's brain says, "they've acknowledged me, and thus I can do whatever the fuck I want and they'll have to just get out of the way."  Watch their vehicle, not their faces.  Bumpers, fenders, whatever.  Just never look them in the eye.

[ Parent ]
Watch the tops of their front wheels by georgeha (4.00 / 1) #7 Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 11:02:28 AM EST
they'll tell you what the cager will do first.


[ Parent ]
Same in Wizards and Hobbits by Rogerborg (4.00 / 1) #19 Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 01:43:28 PM EST
Well, knees rather than front wheels, but its the same general principle.  The eyes lie.

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]
Always look them in the eye, by blixco (4.00 / 1) #8 Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 11:04:21 AM EST
and youĺl know they have seen you.

---------------------------------
"You bring the weasel, I'll bring the whiskey." - kellnerin
[ Parent ]
And seeing you by barooo (2.00 / 0) #18 Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 01:39:06 PM EST
is good for what exactly?

man, i need a beefy taco now.
-gzt
[ Parent ]
100 POINTS by Rogerborg (4.00 / 1) #20 Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 01:46:26 PM EST
GOURANGA!

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]
Typically by blixco (4.00 / 1) #21 Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 06:21:58 PM EST
it means, they won't pull out in front of you, or turn left in front of you, or cut you off.
---------------------------------
"You bring the weasel, I'll bring the whiskey." - kellnerin
[ Parent ]
Around here it means. . . by nightflameblue (4.00 / 1) #23 Wed Apr 30, 2008 at 01:55:31 AM EST
you've seen them.  It's a subtle difference, but an important one. 

[ Parent ]
What are the firearms laws in your locality? by Rogerborg (4.00 / 1) #24 Wed Apr 30, 2008 at 02:16:52 AM EST
i.e. how polite is your society?

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]
Concealed carry requires a permit. by nightflameblue (4.00 / 2) #27 Wed Apr 30, 2008 at 04:00:50 AM EST
But any old asshole can carry a rifle strapped to his back so long as it's obvious it's a gun.

[ Parent ]
And MG Rovers by Rogerborg (4.00 / 1) #9 Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 11:35:07 AM EST
You wouldn't believe the sort of people who "drive" them.

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]
Worst drivers in the world: by ad hoc (4.00 / 2) #10 Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 11:57:52 AM EST
We just did them by Rogerborg (2.00 / 0) #11 Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 12:22:15 PM EST
right up there.

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]
middle aged african women by dmg (4.00 / 1) #12 Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 12:23:33 PM EST
call me racist if you like...
--
dmg - HuSi's most dimwitted overprivileged user.
[ Parent ]
ASIANS by Rogerborg (2.00 / 0) #13 Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 12:36:11 PM EST
Next.

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]
Anyone who lives outside the M25... by dmg (4.00 / 1) #14 Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 01:07:09 PM EST

--
dmg - HuSi's most dimwitted overprivileged user.
[ Parent ]
Out what side? by Rogerborg (2.00 / 0) #15 Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 01:11:16 PM EST
CENTRIST!

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]
the outside of course by dmg (4.00 / 1) #16 Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 01:14:32 PM EST
I find whenever I venture out of this great city in my automobile, I seem to be driving extremely aggressively and fast, but it is a trick of perception, due to everyone else dawdling along in a provincial style.

It is most notable in the west country, but I've also seen it around the north of england too.
--
dmg - HuSi's most dimwitted overprivileged user.

[ Parent ]
Well, we have to save fuel up here by Rogerborg (4.00 / 2) #17 Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 01:29:34 PM EST
The Provinces are always the first to have their grain ration cut in times of hardship.

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]
Go the unrestricted test by Phage (4.00 / 1) #22 Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 10:38:31 PM EST
You learn the same skills, but have a wider choice of vehicles afterwards.

Also....Wet leaves, and drivers of continental land yachts.
I have never found a problem with white vans and oher professional drivers. It's the amateurs and pensioners you have to watch.

Had a Flat Cap wakeup call today by Rogerborg (2.00 / 0) #25 Wed Apr 30, 2008 at 02:19:36 AM EST
Which of these lanes is not like the other?  That's right, grandad, it's the one with the huge fucking white left arrow that means "DO NOT swerve right at the last moment and try to enter the roundabout".

There seems to be a lot of IFs in motorbicycling.  IF the roads are good and IF there are no codgers around and IF there's no adverse microclimate and IF...

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.

[ Parent ]
White vans, yes; Rental vans NO by ReallyEvilCanine (4.00 / 1) #26 Wed Apr 30, 2008 at 02:57:22 AM EST
Watch out for any borrowed/leased/let/rented vehicle. The drivers of those rarely have had any actual experience.

And Borg, go unrestricted. You didn't learn to wield a goddamned halberd by fucking around with a pissy little dolch.

the internet: amplifier of stupidity -- discordia

[ Parent ]
EPIC... uh, SUCCESS | 27 comments (27 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback