and then there was all of last week. mostly hassle. mostly work related stress.
this past weekend? it was nice. friday night i came home and promptly forgot about my issues. why? they're work related and i don't get paid enough to do weekends. blackberry? stayed in the bag. no point. so we chilled out a little. it's amazing how a little time with the dude puts things back in perspective. we stayed up a little too late playing video games (stacky and i) and we were awakened at o'dark thirty by a boy who wanted food and attention. and that was ok.
most of saturday we just hung out. everyone was pretty mellow and we got ready to leave the dude with his grammy and grandad for the night. he was fine when we dropped him off, but apparently around 1 a.m. he woke up saying "da da da da" over and over and cried. then it was "ma ma ma ma" about 2 hours later. alternate, lather, rinse, repeat until about 6 a.m. when they gave up and got up.
saturday night for "the adults" involved some grilling and a great bottle of tempranillo. that's my grape. i was never a wine type, but stacky has shown me the light. and now i have my grape. rock on. i knew i loved the spanish for a reason! good food. lots of good talk. some plans. some frank discussions on the future that proved quite fruitful. oh, and i called my mom while buzzed. i used to get really ripped in college and call her to say "hi mom! i'm in JAIL! i like it here in JAIL!" she was amused.
now a couple of things about my wife. the first is that she's the best mom ever. every time i see her with our son, i'm amazed at how completely she has taken on the challenges and how natural it is for her. the things she does fuss about are understandable and are tiny compared to what she accomplishes in a day. it's like slaying 10 dragons in a row and then mentioning that a mosquito bite itches. i'm constantly amazed. and i never know how to say this without sounding condescending but i'm so very proud of her. i hear other people talk about their partners and sometimes i have to smile because i know EXACTLY how good i've got it. she's the best.
the other (i did say a couple) thing that i love about her is that when i make a call, she rallies behind me. when i need something, i can always count on her. sometimes, due to a decade of conditioning, i still hesitate to bring something up for fear of a confrontation that i don't want to have but every time i manage to say what's on my mind and she goes with it. she might not agree, but if she doesn't it isn't a massive explosion. it's usually "that's dumb, punkin!" and that i can live with.
see, the deal was that we were going to stick it out in this zone until january of 2010 and then consider movin' to a locale that is more in line with our lifestyle. i've decided to step that up a bit. feelers are going out and i'm going to open myself to opportunity. part of it is my current gig. and really, it's my expectations that are off. and i don't think that we'll reconcile those any time soon. the wife was totally down with it. the bottom line is that it's not fair to my family for me to be in a bad mood about work on family time any more than it's ok for me to be in a bad mood about home stuff on work time. let's just forget about the fact that the latter doesn't happen and go with it, ok?
capital city, here we come!
i also had a minor wake up call when i got the alumni newsletter from my undergrad institution. one of the largest influences on me during that time died back in january at the age of 65. fuck you, cancer! seriously. fuck right off. i guess i'm at an age now when those people who carved out a great deal of my personality will start to fade out. i'm not OK with that, but the best i can do is not forget them and maybe try to actualize some of the potential that they pointed out in me. every day.
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