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By misslake (Mon Apr 28, 2008 at 02:11:26 PM EST) minty fresh vagina, vagina full of centipedes, husimeet (all tags)
another weekend in calgary with 606.

we went to a wedding and the zoo.

we ate, drank and made merry, but were not quite as vigourous or thorough in our merriment as Leona was.

the wedding was nice. the groom was a university friend of 606's, a former amateur rock star and there were a few of their old aquantences there.

the colours were chartreuse green and chocolate brown, they all wore orchids and the bridesmaids had great little brown dresses on.
despite showing up in my docs (which i had carefully oiled and polished for the occasion) i embarassingly found myself shocked at the number of women who had shown up in short skirts or dresses and NO STOCKINGS OF ANY KIND! this was horrifying not only because it was just barely 10C at the time, but because i seem to have not fully shed my conservative upbringing. imagine, attending a church wedding with naked legs. i had wool tights covering up my legs, and i even wore a bra and a slip. (further horror: wearing open-toed shoes without painting OR EVEN TRIMMING their toenails!)

the reception was at the zoo, and 606 and i decided we should spend the time remaining after the ceremony having a look around. unfortunately the bridge that we needed to pass to get into our assigned parking lot was blocked by an accident. we got slightly lost, trying to find a detour or another way into the zoo, then went for coffee instead.
i had the best tart of my life. it had a shortbread crust, and a slightly sour custard filling that perfectly complimented the intense juicy sweetness of the strips of mango that were arranged into a blooming rose on the top. it was incredible.

we met Leona when we sat down at our assigned table for dinner. she was blonde, and in a black and white polka dot dress. she had a pink cellphone and lots of rhinestone jewlry.
she had come with 2 friends, the guy was wearing a black dress shirt, wranglers and what appeared to be his barn boots. they looked slightly awkward and nervous. Leona teased him relentlessly, he kept getting up from the table to take calls, apparently about his cows.
you could tell right away that Leona was Here to Have a Good Time. she made racous conversation with everyone, introduced everyone, and not only was she concerend with having fun herself, she was into making everyone else have fun too.

somehow Leona discovered her cutlery was magnetic. this began an impressive series of table games, party tricks and other forms of merryment. she was really amusing. we had been provided with vials of bubbles, and four bottles of wine for dinner. Leona led us all in wild tableware and wineglass clinking, bubble blowing, and cheering. she also drank an entire bottle of wine, and 3 or 4 cesars. through dinner, Leona would pour herself another glass of wine, then travel to another table, sometimes abandonning her glass, sometimes aquiring another before making her way back to her spot.
her friends left during desert, and she saw them out. she returned with her cellphone brimming with hillarious photos of her and various zoo sculptures in compromising positions.
she dared us all to request various terrible songs at the dance, then requested them herself.

never have i met a more gregarious person. Leona was the life of the party, but that's not saying enough about how much of a hoot she was.

606 and i returned to the zoo the next day.
there were no wombats.

they had one grey kangaroo, and 2 or 3 wallabys.

the condors impressed me. they were huge. i think they could have picked me up by my shoulders in thier talons and carried me away. i was particularly impressed as i just read "Pilgrim on the Great Bird Continent" by Lyanda Lynn Haupt, and learned about Darwin's interest in the condors, and his experiments to determine if they could smell or not. totally amazing.

there was a sting ray petting zoo, a pride of lions, zebras, tigers, ostriches, bats, hippos and giraffes.
the elephants had silver caps on thier tusks, very pimpin'.
there were also japanese serow, a sort of bovid i had never seen nor heard of before. according to thier wiki, there are only 35 in captivity. we saw about 6. they squirt vinegar out of thier eye glands.

there were so many neat things. i love zoos!

we had a delicious breakfast at a tiny diner right near 606's house called dairy lane. they made vegetarian eggs benedict with tomatoes and avocado. yum yum yum.

i am adding leona to my facebook in hopes that i can carouse with her again.

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calgary compulsive carouser | 8 comments (8 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
A sting ray petting zoo by ammoniacal (4.00 / 1) #1 Mon Apr 28, 2008 at 05:01:14 PM EST
Man, I really need to find one of those.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

they are soft and cold!! by misslake (4.00 / 3) #2 Mon Apr 28, 2008 at 05:17:32 PM EST
and very smooth on their bellies.

you put your hand down on the bottom, and they swim right over you and you lift your hand up and touch thier bellies. the wings brush against your forearm and they feel so gelatinous and fragile and so strong and powerful.

[ Parent ]
Wow, that's awesome. by ammoniacal (4.00 / 1) #3 Mon Apr 28, 2008 at 05:21:47 PM EST
Say, at the Edmonton Zoo, do you think I could lean my chest out over the tank?

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

[ Parent ]
Sure. by Rogerborg (2.00 / 0) #4 Mon Apr 28, 2008 at 10:32:13 PM EST

Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]
I have a big heart. by ammoniacal (4.00 / 1) #7 Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 04:38:54 AM EST
So once is probably all I'd need.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

[ Parent ]
Bah! by ambrosen (2.00 / 0) #6 Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 02:21:50 AM EST
They used to have them in the Sea Life centre near my parents, but then some infection control/animal welfare legislation decreed that only domesticated animals could be petted in the EU.

[ Parent ]
Pah ! by Phage (2.00 / 0) #5 Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 01:32:16 AM EST
No wombats ?
What's the world coming to ? In my day mutter...mutter
There used to be a bull-nosed ray petting pool at Seaworld back in the day. You used to be able to feed them squidlets which they would suck from your hand like a starving man at a plate of spaghetti.

speaking of MFV by R343L (2.00 / 0) #8 Tue Apr 29, 2008 at 09:28:59 AM EST
It seems both aphrael and I both use MFV soap!

One of us, however, probably doesn't want to smell like MFV.

"There will be time, there will be time / To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet." -- Eliot

calgary compulsive carouser | 8 comments (8 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback