Print Story Brandishing your skin
Diary
By blixco (Fri Mar 28, 2008 at 05:32:37 AM EST) (all tags)
like a goddamn propaganda poster.


On top of this, all of this, is the idea that I can somehow squeeze a few words out of the infested sponge of my head, and somehow make them make sense to anyone at all besides me.

Or anyone beside me.

The worst is, I sometimes get these flashes like I know what I'm doing, and the room sort of spins.  I lose focus.  And I never, ever have anything with me to write on when that happens, ever.  I'll be driving, or at a play, or at dinner, and wham! Inspiration!  Words hitting like drops of water on a white hot skillet, and all I have handy is a failing memory full of dislodged IP and television arcana. Fucking TV!

I am forced, prison camp style, to go to sleep with the goddamn television on every night, loud enough to seep into my goddamn dreams.  I would give good money to not have a goddamn television on in my goddamn bedroom.  It is affecting my ability to deal with the good noise; filters can't be that selective, you either get no noise or all noise.

Speaking of rants, my neighbors, they must be angling toward some sort of hate crime as a way to get out of a mortgage or something, because yesterday they had a small white car worth about ten bucks with a subwoofer worth about fifty grand parked, empty, outside the house with the goddamn thing up so loud, I couldn't concentrate on anything other than my walls shaking.  I walked out there to ask them to turn it down, but there was no them, there.  They were listening to the stereo inside the house, doors closed, and the kid who answered the door was too stoned to look me in the eye when I asked if it could be turned off.  Twenty minutes later, the issue took care of itself while I frantically pulled my microwave apart to get at the salient bits to make a goddamn HERF gun and knock the fucker out of orbit myself.  The punk kid's sound system overheated, squealed, and died in a cloud of acrid smoke.  This has happened before, though, so I anticipate the same booming soundtrack when I get home today.  My kingdom for directed energy emp weapons! We should all have tha bility to destroy electronics remotely. It'd be the equivalent of carrying a club; people would be more polite.

Speaking of energy, I'm gearing up for a party tomorrow night, a delayed Laurea birthday party and Femto Memorial BBQ.  Laurea has, of course, done all the work cleaning and preparing (she took yesterday off, ostensibly to take the day off, but sneaking in a full day of housework), and all I need to do are clean my spaces (my bathroom and the room crammed with guns and guitars and computers, a room I like to call the guns, guitars, and computers room) and shop for food and alcohol.  I will need to then cook for 40 (25 have committed, but I'd rather have more than less).  Brisket, sausage, a leg of lamb (marinaded in buttermilk, sage, rosemary, white wine, olive oil and other things), some sort of poultry, and maybe some vegetables.  Oh, and tofu. Some sort of tofu.

Smoking a brisket with my smoker takes anywhere from eight to twelve hours, though I may finish it off in the oven. It is a day long, intensive process filled with danger and sorrow.

Speaking of writing, I'm finally going to post this fucking mess.  Happy friday, you fucks.

< Making a Wish | I miss Nazis >
Brandishing your skin | 17 comments (17 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
I would like to subscribe to your HERF gun by georgeha (4.00 / 2) #1 Fri Mar 28, 2008 at 05:52:39 AM EST
magazine, please post schematics.

A few years back we had a neighbor across the street who would play the cheesy woose rock (like Journey meets Triumph) so loud we could hear him in our living room, on weekend nights from 9:30 to 10:05.

The noise ordinance kicks in at 10, so by the time we called and the police showed up, he had gone out to the club.

He had a third floor apartment, so a nice HERF gun or something to blow his speakers would only have affected him.


Journey meets Triumph by wiredog (4.00 / 1) #2 Fri Mar 28, 2008 at 06:08:30 AM EST
I'm trying to imagine that. And failing.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

[ Parent ]
It's like a mullet by blixco (4.00 / 2) #5 Fri Mar 28, 2008 at 06:25:49 AM EST
with a mullet.
---------------------------------
"You bring the weasel, I'll bring the whiskey." - kellnerin
[ Parent ]
Perhaps my favorite thing about you is by zantispam (4.00 / 1) #8 Fri Mar 28, 2008 at 07:03:17 AM EST
how sig-worthy your one-liners are.

Thanks again.


It's like a mullet with a mullet. -- blixco

[ Parent ]
It was bad syntho rock by georgeha (4.00 / 1) #6 Fri Mar 28, 2008 at 06:28:43 AM EST
with a mediocre shrill male vocalist. Worse than Coheed and Cambria.


[ Parent ]
Saga? by spacejack (2.00 / 0) #9 Fri Mar 28, 2008 at 10:09:36 AM EST
If so, you can thank us Canucks for that.

[ Parent ]
Could be by georgeha (2.00 / 0) #11 Fri Mar 28, 2008 at 10:17:13 AM EST
he's moved on, and I have no desire to listen to it again.


[ Parent ]
Right then. We're invading tomorrow. by wiredog (2.00 / 0) #14 Fri Mar 28, 2008 at 01:03:29 PM EST
No, wait, even an invasion wouldn't do justice for that.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

[ Parent ]
sleep with the television on every night by wiredog (4.00 / 1) #3 Fri Mar 28, 2008 at 06:09:16 AM EST
Why? Laurea need the white noise? Why not get a white noise generator?

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

She needs the noise. by blixco (2.00 / 0) #4 Fri Mar 28, 2008 at 06:25:26 AM EST
For white noise, we have an air filter and a fan.  She needs both the light and the extremely loud noise.  Not sure, really.
---------------------------------
"You bring the weasel, I'll bring the whiskey." - kellnerin
[ Parent ]
Dude... by Metatone (4.00 / 1) #7 Fri Mar 28, 2008 at 06:53:27 AM EST
I'd be learning to sleep with earplugs and a blindfold in that case.

[ Parent ]
Tinnitus? by spacejack (2.00 / 0) #10 Fri Mar 28, 2008 at 10:12:56 AM EST
Texas, guns, etc. :)

[ Parent ]
Nah, she's anti-gun. by blixco (2.00 / 0) #12 Fri Mar 28, 2008 at 10:58:12 AM EST
But she is pro-rock. Her favorite local bands are LOUD.
---------------------------------
"You bring the weasel, I'll bring the whiskey." - kellnerin
[ Parent ]
I have found by MisterQueue (4.00 / 1) #13 Fri Mar 28, 2008 at 11:34:57 AM EST
that my life is much improved falling asleep to astronomy classes playing in my PersonalAudioDevice instead of the ol' TeeVee playing episodes of Futurama and the like.

Not that I don't love Futurama, I surely do.. but man... just.. man.

-Q
--------------
"When I get bored, I pretend I am MisterQueue." -DullTrev

You by Kellnerin (4.00 / 1) #15 Sat Mar 29, 2008 at 08:29:53 AM EST
have been on lately. Me? I am currently the epitome of un-on.

I was talking with a developer the other day, and he was typing out some pseudocode to illustrate what we were discussing, and he had one line where he had set required=true and wrote a comment, "required blahdeblah" and then another, with required=false, commented "unrequired blahdeblah."

"Unrequired?" He asked out loud. "Is that a word? What am I saying?"

"Optional?"

"Yes. Thank you."

That is the most interesting thing I can write in response to your diary right now. Sorry.

--
"Late to the party" is the new "ahead of the curve" -- CRwM

Thanks for the tofu. by muchagecko (4.00 / 1) #16 Sat Mar 29, 2008 at 03:17:32 PM EST
It's good to know that someone does think of the veggies.

"It means more if you have to earn it, even if it's by doing something as simple as eating a meal." Kellnerin
It ended up pretty charred, by blixco (4.00 / 1) #17 Sun Mar 30, 2008 at 10:08:37 AM EST
but if you pull the charred bits off, it's tasty!
---------------------------------
"You bring the weasel, I'll bring the whiskey." - kellnerin
[ Parent ]
Brandishing your skin | 17 comments (17 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback