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Diary
By nightflameblue (Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 06:29:42 AM EST) (all tags)
Some else's drama, leading the path this morning.


Since my life's so generally boring and simple, and I couldn't really tell you much more than that people at work are making stupid requests and Zippy is annoying, all of which you already probably know, I'll tell you a story about someone else.

My supposed step-sister, though I refuse to claim her. Let's just slap it down as MSSS. Appropriate in ways you couldn't imagine.

So, MSSS and her husband and child live in south-eastish Iowa. He's a college coach under contract to a smaller school. He's not head coach, but one of the underlings. All of this was put into place last year sometime. His contract was officially signed in December I guess.

MSSS can't hold down a job, so she sits at home and bitches about how much the world doesn't appreciate her obvious talents.

This is the girl that, a couple years back, had a job at a flower shop, worked there for two weeks, starting taking every other day off just because, and then going in and telling the shop owner how much better everything would be if you just moved this here, that there, did this arrangement this way, did this arrangement that way, and blah, blah, blah. Basically, an expert just because she read a fucking book on the subject. And when they fired her, she told her mom they were just jealous because she was so much better at their jobs than they were.

And her mom propped her up and told her she was right instead of doing the rational, reasonable thing and telling her she should go look for another job and not be a snobbish, know-it-all bitch all the time and maybe she'd be able to hold onto it.

She's had no jobs since then. Though she did try running her own daycare, then bitched and complained that nobody used her when she was "trying to help people out by offering a valuable service." She can't even take care of her own kid for more than a day on her own. People probably were aware of that and laughed when she advertised herself as a daycare provider.

So, the picture painted.

Dad and Mr. MSSS had a nice conversation a few days back. Mr. MSSS is a little worried about life because MSSS keeps telling him his contract won't be renewed. She knows this because, well, she fucking knows everything. She's utterly convinced of it.

Keep in mind, this contract runs through December. Both the school AND he are locked into it until that time. So, even if it were true, and there's no possible way she could know that it is true if it were, but even if it were, he's got a job for the next nine months or so.

So, Dad and Mr. MSSS have a nice conversation where pop talks him off the ledge and explains to him that she's just over-dramatizing her own fears and sometimes you just gotta tell your SO to shut the fuck up and deal, 'cause life's bitchy enough when you aren't a bitch yourself. Or something to that effect.

Anyway, they decide to get together for Easter, hang out, chat a bit, blah, blah blah.

Basically, everything is back to nominal and nobody is paranoid about anything.

The next day, decisions are made while both men are at work and both Mrs. Dad and MSSS are at home. Talking over the phone. Paranoying their way into hyper-mode spastics that would make an epileptic fit look like a nice sound sleep.

Dad comes home and gets a speech from Mrs. Dad about what's going to go down.

Instead of MSSS, Mr. MSSS and baby MSSS coming for a visit over Easter weekend, Mrs. Dad and Dad need to run down there after Dad's Friday afternoon meeting, and help the kids get ready to sell the house.

Dad's already said he doesn't want them selling this house until they know they need to move.

MSSS wants that fucker sold.

It's Dad's money. It's always been Dad's money. He wants to hold onto it until they know what they're doing.

Well, the decision has been made, and Mrs. Dad tells Dad he hates MSSS for not wanting to do this and he's always hated MSSS because he disagrees with her and blah blah blah.

So, the plan is that MSSS wants to sell the house and move up here, to the BIG CITY because apparently people will just be knocking down her door to hire her if she only lived in a bigger city. Those small town folk just can't appreciate her obvious genius.

In the meantime, she expects Mr. MSSS to move into a dorm on campus to fulfill the rest of his contract and then join her when that's over.

Now, the REAL crux of the plan is she wants to move in, with her baby, with Dad and Mrs. Dad. That's been her plan ever since they built their new house. I knew it, Dad knew it, everybody knew it. It was always just a question of timing and arrangement.

Dad said no. She's not going to live here.

Mrs. Dad brought on the waterworks and said his hatred of her daughter is ruining their marriage.

He once again explained he doesn't hate her, but he wouldn't ask Mrs. Dad to allow his son to move in, she can't expect him to be happy with her asking for her daughter to move in.

Knowing full-well I'd sooner start chopping off my own body parts than move in with them, she claims he's not being fair.

Fair or not, he still says no. Because if she moved in, she'd never move out. She wants to live there so mommy can take care of her baby for her while she sits on her big fat ass and does nothing.

Mrs. Dad has heart issues. Like, near shut-down level issues. Being around her daughter makes those issues much, much worse because she simply runs herself ragged trying to make sure everything is perfect for her little princess. When she's called on it, by anyone, the excuse is, "her dad left her, I have to take care of her." Yeah, that worked when she was seven, but she's nearing thirty now. Let her take care of herself.

So, the situation as it exists is, Dad's put his foot down, Mrs. Dad is not talking to Dad, MSSS is planning on getting her house ready to sell, trying to sell all of their furnishings and belongings that won't fit into Dad's and Mrs. Dad's new house, most of which Dad bought for them in the past fifteen months or so, and trying to get Dad to fund whatever other items they may need to pull off this split-life for the remainder of Mr. MSSS's contract.

The breaking point is nigh.

MSSS and Mr. MSSS are dead freakin' broke. Always are. Because whatever money they have, no matter how much, no matter how much Dad and Mrs. Dad give them to live on, she spends it instantly on frivolous crap. Case in point. A few days back Mr. MSSS called dad because he came home to a house full of flowers and he needed to vent. Not just a few pots of flowers, but completely filled to the point of not being able to walk in the door. Asking MSSS why, she said, and I quote, "I felt depressed about how broke we are, so I went and got a few flowers to cheer myself up."

Once the flowers began to wilt, she threw them out. All of them.

Equivalency with these two lead me to a brand-new, right off the lot, 2007 Saturn Aura XR. That was supposed to catch us up. Less than three weeks later we got another check for almost ten grand. They spent that much in that short of a time. And this is on top of whatever money he actually makes.

Dad is on the edge of something major. He's either going to completely break-down, going to leave his current Mrs. Dad, or going to kill Mrs. Dad's precious daughter. He knows now that the path has been laid out. It's no longer a subtle hint there and a tiny jab there about MSSS coming to live with him. Now it's out in the open that that's the plan, and he's not having it.

The line is drawn here. Let us watch and see who will be the first to try and cross it.

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you know by sasquatchan (2.66 / 3) #1 Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 06:41:22 AM EST
some people are miserable. Some people like being miserable. Some people keep other miserable people around because misery likes company. God help anyone suggesting any change, because that brings out ire and fury. Easy to see and read in your diaries.

Apply as you wish to:

I recall a long time ago you vehemently stating "this is my blog/diary to rant" when anyone suggested positive change. You're more like MSSS and the other dysfunctional relationships you piss and moan about then you realize.

Well, let's see. by nightflameblue (4.00 / 3) #3 Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 06:53:30 AM EST

Family - family is family, and while I can cut out the most miserable (my uncle), cutting out my parents doesn't seem a healthy way of dealing with their continual dysfunction. Instead, I choose to find mild humor in it.

Job - All jobs are miserable. This one pays the bills and isn't nearly as annoying to me now as it was a few years ago.

Myself - I'm finally doing what I've spent the last twenty five plus years day-dreaming about doing with myself and my own time. I've mostly dug my way out of debt, and I'm putting together a studio that I use nightly.

I guess I just don't see how my life is that miserable right at the moment. But thanks for taking a moment to try and convince me otherwise. It's greatly appreciated.

[ Parent ]
do you read your diaries ? by sasquatchan (2.50 / 2) #10 Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 07:15:51 AM EST
I mean, sure, plank in my own eye before the speck in yours... But the whinging you do about work, and the  "morons" on the 2nd floor who can't run a business ? Sound familiar to MSSS ?

Not all jobs are miserable.

Not all family is dysfunctional. Sitting around watching and adding to it is. If you aren't part of the solution, you are part of the problem.

[ Parent ]
You know. . . by nightflameblue (4.00 / 3) #11 Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 07:27:45 AM EST
I could sit down and point out the differences between MSSS and myself. I could sit down and point out the differences between accepting working for other people being shitty and actually BEING miserable. I could even sit down and point out the differences between finding ways to have fun with family dysfunction and trying to "solve" it by making yourself a complete wreck.

But the truth is, this whole "let's self examine until we're miserable" theme just doesn't work for me anymore. I'm happy with where I'm at in life at the moment. I have a job that pays the bills, even though I do think there's some serious problems in management. I have a family that I get along with, even though they mostly don't get along with each other. And I have happy things to do each and every day that makes the not-so-great parts of the day bearable.

You may want to ask yourself why it's important to you that I try and look at what I consider a fairly happy time in my own life as anything other than a happy time in my life. Other people's problems aren't something I can fix. I can, however, be amazed by those problems and share them with other people that would likely find those problems just as amazing.

[ Parent ]
Damn. by nightflameblue (4.00 / 1) #12 Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 07:29:37 AM EST
That should have said, "other people's problems are something I can't fix." Sorry if that came across confused.

[ Parent ]
Sure, his work gets him down. by ambrosen (4.00 / 3) #18 Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 09:02:27 AM EST
But not really that much considering. I'm guessing that he doesn't write much about the normal stuff.

I don't see any way he's looking bothered about the idiocies of HSSS, merely interested. And supportive of his Dad. And grateful for the parity rule, moneywise.

[ Parent ]
Um what? by Gedvondur (4.00 / 5) #6 Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 06:58:43 AM EST
Where did this fragment of bitterness come from?

Seems totally unwarranted.

Gedvondur
"...I almost puked like a pregnant StackyMcRacky." --MillMan

[ Parent ]
probably from his previous account by gzt (4.00 / 3) #16 Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 08:22:30 AM EST
But yeah, I agree with you. This doesn't have the whininess of his previous diaries.

[ Parent ]
lolwhat? by hulver (4.00 / 5) #15 Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 08:18:11 AM EST
I don't read it that way at all.
--
Cheese is not a hat. - clock
[ Parent ]
I only see one way to restore family harmony by georgeha (4.00 / 3) #2 Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 06:53:09 AM EST
you need to take out a home equity loan and cash out your 401k to buy a flower shop for MSSS.

I'm sure the reward will be munificent.


Sounds like Mr. MSSS and Dad by wiredog (4.00 / 3) #4 Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 06:53:38 AM EST
need to be single again...

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

I've told him several times. . . by nightflameblue (4.00 / 2) #5 Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 06:55:39 AM EST
they totally need to get a place together and commiserate.

[ Parent ]
One of life's great injustices by wiredog (4.00 / 2) #7 Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 07:07:41 AM EST
You can't choose your relatives.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

[ Parent ]
Sounds like MSSS is fixing to walk by haplopeart (4.00 / 3) #8 Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 07:09:17 AM EST
Separate living? Sounds like she is fixing to no longer have a Mr MSSS.  I see divorce papers, MR MSSS should serve them first, he just might get the better end of the stick in that case.

I doubt she's thought that through. by nightflameblue (4.00 / 2) #9 Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 07:15:24 AM EST
She likely believes she can do whatever she wants and he'll just obey. She doesn't want a divorce because she needs someone to help take care of the baby/provide money. Granted, she could take care of that by moving in with Mrs. Dad, but well. . .

Let's just say I don't think she'd be the one to start the divorce motions. Him? If he wakes up out of whatever spell she's got him in if they separate for a few months, it's possible.

[ Parent ]
Dad and Mr. MSSS by ad hoc (4.00 / 2) #13 Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 08:11:03 AM EST
need to elope.
--
The three things that make a diamond also make a waffle.
Thank you by miker2 (4.00 / 4) #14 Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 08:11:04 AM EST
Every time you write about your family I'm reminded why I didn't marry my college girlfriend.  Thank you for reminding me I made the correct choice.

Ah, sociopathy. How warm, how comforting, thy sweet embrace. - MNS
No problem. by nightflameblue (4.00 / 3) #17 Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 08:34:04 AM EST
Watching it unfold also serves as a nice reminder to appreciate my wonderful wife for just how wonderful she is. Not that I need reminded, because she's pretty awesome. But, you know.

[ Parent ]
1. Get blixco to sort you out with a cadaver by Rogerborg (4.00 / 1) #19 Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 09:30:31 AM EST
  1. Assist your faaather in faking his own death.
  2. Profit + freedom from toxic bloodsucking harpies.


-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
Ah, but. . . by nightflameblue (4.00 / 2) #20 Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 09:38:06 AM EST
They aren't my bloodsucking harpies to deal with. While I have had one of those in the past, each man must find his own way out of that particular hole.

[ Parent ]
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