Print Story A Day in the Life
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By ReallyEvilCanine (Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 05:14:05 AM EST) A Day in the Life, WTF, beer, strippers, tits, booze, festivals, pie (all tags)
Cow-Orkers XVI: Starkbier!

My married-with-kids colleagues, annoyed last night that we couldn't get into the strip club because the doorman didn't like the fact that I was wearing Adidas and not Florscheims or Ballys, are now thanking me. Under the cold light of sobriety they realise that had we indeed gone in, they'd be regretting this morning a lot more than they otherwise do with just the two liters of Starkbier each one drank last night. I'd had three; maybe I was a bit wobbly, too.

Strip club poll.
x-posted to da brog.



I want to thank the doorman for this because I fucking hate strip clubs. He has no idea what sort of favour he did me, and I don't just mean saving me from having to throw down double the normal beer price. He saved me from the whole thing. I don't "get" strip clubs. What's the attraction?

There's an attractive girl who you're allowed to look at but whom you can't touch. You're encouraged to give her lots of Teh Munniez but no matter how much you hand her, you can't touch her and she won't touch you. She has a boyfriend or a girlfriend (or both), despises you, and is trying to figure out what she has to do to get the rest of your money without actually having to talk to you, let alone countenance allow physical contact.

I ask again, what the fuck is the attraction? Why do people go to these clubs? Why do my cow-orkers insist on going there once drunk? I've been married. I know what it's like to want to see something fresh and different and that's why I pay €40/month for 16Mb downstream DSL -- to fill the My Documents\Faxes\Sent Faxes directory with 447GB of hot chicks doing anything you can name and quite a few things you've probably never even thought of. What do you expect from a guy whose browser home page is set to Ogrish and who was a pre-1996 alt.tasteless participant?

We can get drunk every fucking night for all I care. We can become the bestest buddies EVAR each evening, then return to this hellhole each morning and piss and moan at each other as is our daily routine. That's fine. Just leave the fucking strip clubs out of it. They're a waste of time and a waste of money. More importantly, this dog ain't married. If we stay at real bars there's a chance that I might be sniffing some bitch's crotch before the night is over. More importantly, she might be sniffing at mine without the expectation of any one-way financial transaction.

You want to keep me happy, cow-workers. Never forget I'm the Linkmaster.

With Easter coming up, the Starkbierfest is now over, but in another few weeks, the Spring Festival begins. It takes place on the Theresienwiesen -- the same spot where the Oktoberfest takes place -- and is little more than a smaller version of same festival, but cheaper and filled almost exclusively with locals. And to this festival, in one of the two or three beer "tents", a group of us will congregate after work at least once. And there we will drink. And at 10:30 p.m. as they're kicking us out, one of the group will have the brilliant idea to go to a strip club. Half a dozen such "clubs" are only a mile away.

I'd like to believe I'd just go home and play Spin the Black Circle, but I'm as much a seventeen as the idiots I deal with all day, though in a non-technical way.

< minor irritations | How about we check out something else? >
A Day in the Life | 13 comments (13 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
Just saying by anonimouse (4.00 / 1) #1 Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 05:32:22 AM EST
But there's a world of difference between 'live' and 'downloaded', and I haven't found that the 447GB of downloaded hot chicks does anything apart from amuse.

I agree with your sentiment for the other reason you posted.

They're a waste of time and a waste of money. More importantly, this dog ain't married. If we stay at real bars there's a chance that I might be sniffing some bitch's crotch before the night is over. More importantly, she might be sniffing at mine without the expectation of any one-way financial transaction.

..also, even in the event your mission in a bar is not successful, you will have still had a drink and your wallet is at least likely to still contain some money...


Girls come and go but a mortgage is for 25 years -- JtL
I suppose real life = higher resolution by duxup (4.00 / 1) #2 Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 05:37:55 AM EST
Beyond that yeah.

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All pr0n is a bore. by greyrat (4.00 / 3) #3 Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 05:38:49 AM EST
Seriously, I've "tried" it. All I can say is it's painfully fake, and painfully dull. I can do much better with my imagination. Are other people really that unimaginative?

No by gazbo (4.00 / 2) #4 Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 05:55:22 AM EST
They're just better at finding good porn than you.

I recommend always assuming 7th normal form where items in a text column are not allowed to rhyme.

[ Parent ]
No. by greyrat (4.00 / 2) #5 Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 06:03:14 AM EST
"They" (whomever "they" are) have lower standards. Pitifully low standards as a matter of fact.

[ Parent ]
I have extremely high standards by ReallyEvilCanine (4.00 / 1) #6 Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 06:14:13 AM EST
HIREZPRF (I have the original).

Of course, I also have really low standards, hence my browser's home page and stileproject in my quick links list.

the internet: amplifier of stupidity -- discordia

[ Parent ]
I am reminded of the line: by greyrat (4.00 / 1) #7 Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 06:18:47 AM EST
"In order to feel something Gramps, you have to be there."

I have very high standards when it comes to taking care of the little rat.

[ Parent ]
Then just skip to the money shots by Rogerborg (2.00 / 0) #8 Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 09:47:54 AM EST
Although I hear those fakers do that with CGI these days.

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Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]
The only money shots I'm interested in are by greyrat (4.00 / 1) #9 Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 09:54:02 AM EST
my own and my partners. Aside from which, "fake" and "dull" still apply. Especially if CGI is involved.

[ Parent ]
every once in a while by clover kicker (2.00 / 0) #10 Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 10:07:32 AM EST
there's a scene that looks genuine.

[ Parent ]
Why would I care? by greyrat (2.00 / 0) #11 Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 10:13:00 AM EST
I'm not in it.
.
.
.
The scene, I mean.

[ Parent ]
each to their own by clover kicker (2.00 / 0) #12 Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 05:35:59 PM EST
Now if you'll excuse me, those lesbian orgy videos aren't going to watch themselves.

[ Parent ]
yes by alprazolam (2.00 / 0) #13 Wed Mar 19, 2008 at 07:18:26 PM EST
i'm pretty unimaginative. and i can't see things in my imagination. seriously...i can't call up peoples faces in my memory from more than 2 hours ago and i can't imagine a sex scene that doesn't involve me needing to return to work or cleaning up my apartment or hey did i lock the door? also i fail to understand what's boring about two ridiculously hot chicks making out with each other.

[ Parent ]
A Day in the Life | 13 comments (13 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback