Print Story At last, a Tory policy that I can get behind
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By Rogerborg (Tue Mar 11, 2008 at 03:56:53 AM EST) (all tags)
Yoof to swear allegiance to Her Britannic Majesty, or else be shipped to Guantanamo, presumably.  Maybe even Ffestiniog.

If children refuse to take part, [some treasonous yoghurt knitter whined], "are they then going to be told or taught that they are somehow less British or less loyal or less patriotic?"

Well, for starters. Also, they could be assigned a higher tax code.



So, congratulations to David Cameron on coming up with a really solid back-to-basics Unionist policy that can rally people round the Conservative party again.


While us $SPORRANCORP peons were still reeling from the Great Rightsizing, management moved in with an uppercut - a Pep Rally delivered by $BUNGIE_BOSS_5.  He's been here since (checks our 'media' page) 22-Jan-2008.  And he's barely comprehensible, being from Puerto Rico or Dominica or some other ex Italian colony.

From what I can make out, we have better technology than $THAT_PHONE_YOU_LATTE_CHUGGERS_ALL_USE, we're just not packaging it attractively enough, or making it easy enough for customers to use.  So on top of our Flash UI, that replaced a C-based UI, we'll offer, wait for it... a C wrapper.  And Java.  And .NET CF.  Because as far as our customers are concerned, we are the platform.

Right, because instead of tying themselves to the OS, they'll rush to tie themselves to a company that's up for sale to their competitors, and which might withdraw its products tomorrow.  Riiiiight.

Eh, it could happen.  In the meantime, our jobs are all secure (NOBODY LAUGH), and we should concentrate on having fun.  Message received: I'll push on with Portal: Flash immediately.


Reading: The Dreaming Void, the Peter F. Hamilton Writing Collective's latest.  He must be rivalling Saint Barbara Cartland for output.

Cunningly, he hasn't bothered making up new characters for this one, just set it A 1000 Years in the future-future, after the Starflyer War duology.  Amazing what you can get away with when you've posited immortality.

I do get a 'borg chubby from his vision of the future.  Star Trek technology, but with the important observation that people would quite like to be eternally young, fit and healthy, thanks very much, oh, and we'll have this season's hot wetwiring and genetic retro-modification while we're at it.  Also, sex in weird combinations would be fine.  Imagine a society composed entirely of Mac users and you're pretty much there.

He ignores the Holodeck Problem though. Once you've got flawless VR environments, why would anyone bother with the real world, instead of playing the timid stable boy to Alyson Hannigan's strict riding mistress from now until the heat death of the universe?

Any ideas?  I mean, ideas where I can get a VR simulation of Alyson Hannigan?


Tedious offspring update: Miss Borglet's lexicon.

  • "Ada": Daddy and/or Master Borglet. Or anyone else, really, except for mama, who Shall Not Be Named.
  • "Up": Any change in altitude.
  • "Aaw gaw": Any change in a quantity of food.
  • "Cat": Any animal.
  • "Joos": Any liquid.
  • "Shoos": Any clothes.
  • "Off": Stop... playin... interwebz.

Re-watching: Babylon 5 seasons 1 - 2, Deep Space 9, seasons 1 - 4.

B5 is a big pile of Hawk the Slayer.  Really, truly, it is.  Just awful on every level.  It's like a shoddy humourless parody of itself, made by someone who had never seen it.  Meta-paradox! I can see the appeal to fanbois though, since it plays like it was written by one.  Such is the power of fanwankery that I'd been tricked into remembering it as far better than it was.  It's a shock to rediscover the truth.

DS9 is the opposite.  On re-watching, I have to concede that it gives even the Historical Documents a run for their money.  Merely competent for the first 3 seasons as it beds in, but then it just lets rip in season 4.  When hot alien lesbos isn't even your season highlight, you must be doing something right.

Do you have nothing better to do than argue to the contrary?  Well, I'd like to see you try.

Update [2008-3-11 14:45:26 by Rogerborg]:

Hot alien lesbos. There's that's the Edit function and YouTube embedding validated in one fell swoop.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4GsAXFw7-g

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At last, a Tory policy that I can get behind | 36 comments (36 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
WIPO: BSG by wiredog (4.00 / 1) #1 Tue Mar 11, 2008 at 04:18:20 AM EST
I always thought DS9 was the best of the franchise. OK, they did "particle of the week" and the occasional time travel piece, but that's just part of being Star Trek. Definitely got better as it went on, and it was nice that the characters were a bit more nuanced than was usual for Trek.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

Time Travel by Vulch (4.00 / 2) #4 Tue Mar 11, 2008 at 04:53:07 AM EST

But the time travel episodes included getting Jadzia into a classic Trek uniform in the one with Tribbles.

They also gave time to the recurring minor characters which other versions didn't, Nog joining Starfleet, Rom leaving the bar, even Morn got his own episode rather than being left as mobile scenery. Characters were allowed to develop and get promoted, Sisko went from Commander to Captain, Julian Bashir was well on his way from keen and eager medical school graduate to full McCoy cynicism.

[ Parent ]
DS9 definitely benefitted from by wiredog (4.00 / 1) #6 Tue Mar 11, 2008 at 05:15:37 AM EST
Roddenberry's dying before it aired.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

[ Parent ]
Meddling fingers by Vulch (4.00 / 2) #7 Tue Mar 11, 2008 at 05:29:26 AM EST

It also helped that most of his successors considered Voyager the major series and left the DS-9 team to get on with things on their own.

[ Parent ]
Beg to differ by Rogerborg (4.00 / 1) #8 Tue Mar 11, 2008 at 05:41:54 AM EST
Hot alien lesbos is exactly the sort of envelope that he liked to push in his edit of the documentaries.

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Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]
Plus, Klingons FTW by Rogerborg (4.00 / 1) #16 Tue Mar 11, 2008 at 05:56:45 AM EST
Bumpy heads and phlegm are fine for a while, but Worf was little better than a Noble Savage on Next Gen.  The treatment in DS9 felt a little more authentic.  SF should be about more than hot alien lesbos.  I mean, some of the time.

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Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]
Again with the Tribbles by Vulch (4.00 / 1) #22 Tue Mar 11, 2008 at 06:28:25 AM EST

"Those are Klingons?" "We do not discuss it with outsiders".

And on numerous occasions Worf is accused of trying to be nearer the Klingon ideal than the Klingons who grew up in the culture do. That almost helped retcon his Next Gen attitude.

[ Parent ]
About the bumpy heads by Rogerborg (2.00 / 0) #26 Tue Mar 11, 2008 at 06:56:29 AM EST
Apparently they discussed it with Berman and Braga.  Is there nothing they aren't prepared to violate?

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Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]
You mean by ad hoc (4.00 / 1) #29 Tue Mar 11, 2008 at 09:01:10 AM EST
It's Gordo and his Labourite minions by jump the ladder (4.00 / 1) #2 Tue Mar 11, 2008 at 04:19:37 AM EST
Suggesting this not wee Dave. Wonder how this policy would be enforced out in wilds of the Celtic Fringe.

Hello, I'm Rogerborg. by Rogerborg (2.00 / 0) #9 Tue Mar 11, 2008 at 05:43:06 AM EST
You must be new here.

I imagine that it would be enforced in the traditional way, with fire, sword and the bailiffs.

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Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.

[ Parent ]
Like to see it implemented in West Belfast by jump the ladder (2.00 / 0) #11 Tue Mar 11, 2008 at 05:44:52 AM EST
I think it maybe one of those "British" policies that actually only applies to England.

[ Parent ]
I'd like to see it implemented, well, anywhere by Rogerborg (2.00 / 0) #15 Tue Mar 11, 2008 at 05:51:01 AM EST
Outside of a few BNP holdfasts, I think it would be honoured mostly in the breach, which might actually be a better way of demonstrating the Briton's Collective Spunk.

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Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]
I want them to introduce this by dmg (2.00 / 0) #31 Tue Mar 11, 2008 at 12:19:29 PM EST
Precisely so I can flout it.
--
dmg - HuSi's most dimwitted overprivileged user.
[ Parent ]
Are you likely to go back to by jump the ladder (2.00 / 0) #32 Tue Mar 11, 2008 at 02:26:05 PM EST
Secondary school as it seems to be only for our youth?

[ Parent ]
Paging anonimouse by Rogerborg (2.00 / 0) #33 Wed Mar 12, 2008 at 12:04:09 AM EST
He can carry the flag for all of us.

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Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]
Like all these things by dmg (2.00 / 0) #36 Wed Mar 12, 2008 at 01:24:36 PM EST
It starts with schools, but then, sooner or later it will be extended to for example, renewing your passport.

The whole thing is complete bullshit, I cannot understand who could possibly have thought this was a good idea, unless the idea was to unite everyone behind opposition to such a cretinous idea...
Then it starts to sort of make sense. But this whole "Britishness" thing leaves me cold. After all, I'm English.
--
dmg - HuSi's most dimwitted overprivileged user.

[ Parent ]
You realize that by blixco (4.00 / 5) #3 Tue Mar 11, 2008 at 04:43:15 AM EST
every day in school when I was a yoot, we had to pledge allegiance to the flakes of the united states of americow, and to the republicans for which they scam, one nacho, underpants, with liberty and justice for all?

I think that's how it went.
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"You bring the weasel, I'll bring the whiskey." - kellnerin

How'd that work out for you? by Rogerborg (2.00 / 0) #12 Tue Mar 11, 2008 at 05:45:12 AM EST
Is the melting pot nicely homogeneous yet?

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Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]
Excuse me: for "all y'all" by Rogerborg (4.00 / 2) #13 Tue Mar 11, 2008 at 05:49:21 AM EST
Sorry, I've got a plasma leak in my universal translator.

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Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]
Not sure, by blixco (4.00 / 1) #17 Tue Mar 11, 2008 at 06:07:46 AM EST
since I grew up in what was primarily a Mexican community and none of us spoke English all that well, it's tough to say.  I'm pretty sure we're all allegiant at the moment.
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"You bring the weasel, I'll bring the whiskey." - kellnerin
[ Parent ]
Why isn't it Mexican-Americans? by Rogerborg (2.00 / 0) #27 Tue Mar 11, 2008 at 07:00:58 AM EST
I ask because it would be a bit peculiar to swear fealty to Abraham Jefferson if you were really in a Mexican community.

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Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]
Good question. by blixco (2.00 / 0) #30 Tue Mar 11, 2008 at 11:10:52 AM EST
I'd ask la raza, but they don't talk to me anymore.
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"You bring the weasel, I'll bring the whiskey." - kellnerin
[ Parent ]
That's not what The Register said. by ambrosen (4.00 / 1) #5 Tue Mar 11, 2008 at 05:01:50 AM EST
But I guess you'll have already mentioned that by the time this is posted.

Couldn't comment on any such report. by Rogerborg (2.00 / 0) #10 Tue Mar 11, 2008 at 05:44:24 AM EST
We're still saving up to put down a deposit on a $LATTE_PHONE, for one thing.

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Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]
DS9 ruled. by nightflameblue (4.00 / 2) #14 Tue Mar 11, 2008 at 05:49:24 AM EST
And anyone arguing contrary shouldn't be allowed to watch it. That's punishment enough.

If ever a Star Trek series tempted me to purchase the set, despite the ridiculous prices Star Trek seasons sell for, it would be DS9.

No mention by nebbish (4.00 / 1) #18 Tue Mar 11, 2008 at 06:10:35 AM EST
Of Cameron's proposed 50p tax on alchopops. It's class war, the port-swilling toff.

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It's political correctness gone mad!

Port for the People! by Merekat (4.00 / 2) #19 Tue Mar 11, 2008 at 06:18:53 AM EST
yeah!

[ Parent ]
Have you heard of Cheeky Vimtos? by nebbish (4.00 / 1) #21 Tue Mar 11, 2008 at 06:26:27 AM EST
It's blue WKD with port, and also vodka if you're feeling adventurous. They actually taste lovely, I spent a new year's eve on them once (plus ecstasy).

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It's political correctness gone mad!

[ Parent ]
ugh by Merekat (4.00 / 2) #23 Tue Mar 11, 2008 at 06:28:47 AM EST
Blue wkd makes you pee blue iirc.

[ Parent ]
Surely that's a plus point? [nt] by nebbish (4.00 / 2) #24 Tue Mar 11, 2008 at 06:41:08 AM EST

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It's political correctness gone mad!

[ Parent ]
Depends on your point of view by Rogerborg (4.00 / 2) #28 Tue Mar 11, 2008 at 07:02:46 AM EST
Viewed from under a glass table, it might be fun.

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Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]
Think of it by yicky yacky (4.00 / 2) #20 Tue Mar 11, 2008 at 06:26:01 AM EST

as a licence fee. Instead of having to learn to drink -- like capable, competent, civil members of society for countless generations -- they can pay a toll, refuse to grow up, and have their learner-wheeled kiddie-booze instead. It's like having a DART card at the estuary.


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Vacuity abhors a vacuum.
[ Parent ]
'a society composed entirely of Mac users' by ad hoc (4.00 / 4) #25 Tue Mar 11, 2008 at 06:47:15 AM EST
Would that be after the 'B' ark crashed?
--
The three things that make a diamond also make a waffle.
About those historical documents... by anonimouse (4.00 / 2) #34 Wed Mar 12, 2008 at 12:56:44 AM EST
..I though you were referring to Galaxy Quest

Girls come and go but a mortgage is for 25 years -- JtL
I like to create referential mongrels. by Rogerborg (2.00 / 0) #35 Wed Mar 12, 2008 at 08:30:47 AM EST
It feels so dirty.

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Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]
At last, a Tory policy that I can get behind | 36 comments (36 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback