Print Story A Day in the Life
Working life
By ReallyEvilCanine (Thu Feb 07, 2008 at 03:40:43 AM EST) A Day in the Life, arrogance, ignorance, fuckwit, pie (all tags)

I love the film UHF. It had just the right amount of stupid and did a good job at parodying both TV and en entire genre of cheesy films which people like Adam Sandler still insist on making. As a bonus Victoria Jackson gets a lot of screen time.

Watching that film is one thing, living its vignettes is quite another.

Poll: can't think of one
x-posted to da brog.



I haven't had a ticket which could be considered even remotely interesting in over a month. What I've had are a bunch of fuckwits who watched this and thought it was a training video:

GooTube vid here -- still no video embeds on HuSi.

A smattering of examples:

Do we need to mount the File System on Unix if it is located on Windows?
Nah. You just need to swap polarity on the network cables.

We do not understand, whether this user preference is some kind of server preference parameter, or if it is stored, in the CONTACTS table or what
You think -- despite my explanation -- that employee user preferences might be stored in the customer contact tables and you insist on appending "Systemwide and Database Engineer" to your name on all mail? The title alone speaks volumes.

Or this exchange:
Corp: Do you support 64-bit Windows 2003?
REC: No.
Corp: When will you support it?
REC: Never.
Corp: Why not?
REC: We don't process and calculate, we just move tons of data.
Corp: But we want 64-bit Windows
REC: Why?
Corp: Because it's 64 bits!
REC: And that's better because... why?
Corp: Because it's more than 32, duh! ESCALATE! MONKEY TOO STUPID TO REALISE 64 IS TEH BETTAR OF 32.
REC: You want to buy new hardware and a new OS to run our software which won't, in fact, be able to run our software half as well as your current hardware.
Corp: Yes it will!
REC: Who told you that?
Corp: The hardware vendor.

Fuckwits. Every last one of them. At this point I'd be thrilled to get a Citrix issue.

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A Day in the Life | 16 comments (16 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
SUPPLIES! by joh3n (4.00 / 3) #1 Thu Feb 07, 2008 at 03:50:29 AM EST
Spatula City:  We sell Spatulas.  And that's all!

----
I just ate about 7 pounds of meat
-theantix

How about Pancake Turners? by ammoniacal (4.00 / 3) #3 Thu Feb 07, 2008 at 04:20:48 AM EST
Our team needs to turn pancakes, but one of our other vendors says that we should avoid using spatulas to turn pancakes. Do you carry pancake turners?

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

[ Parent ]
Strangely by Phage (4.00 / 4) #5 Thu Feb 07, 2008 at 04:52:51 AM EST
I have two requests. One for a fish slice and another for a egg slide.

[ Parent ]
Egg slide or egg flipper? by ReallyEvilCanine (4.00 / 4) #8 Thu Feb 07, 2008 at 05:14:58 AM EST
I feel like I'm a contestant on Wheel of Fish.

the internet: amplifier of stupidity -- discordia

[ Parent ]
People! People! I'm trying to find two by greyrat (4.00 / 1) #10 Thu Feb 07, 2008 at 05:30:21 AM EST
small files on two multi-terabyte file systems and y'all keep distracting me! Now I'm laughing too hard to even be able to type, much less use ksh line editing commands...

[ Parent ]
Easy solution by ReallyEvilCanine (4.00 / 1) #11 Thu Feb 07, 2008 at 05:36:37 AM EST
External USB drive case and Google Desktop FTW!

the internet: amplifier of stupidity -- discordia

[ Parent ]
Try a Spatula! by joh3n (4.00 / 2) #15 Thu Feb 07, 2008 at 06:49:03 AM EST

----
I just ate about 7 pounds of meat
-theantix

[ Parent ]
Ahem by Merekat (4.00 / 4) #12 Thu Feb 07, 2008 at 05:58:34 AM EST
Turning pancakes is the old paradigm. We promise to end all your pancake turning days. All you have to do is lease our super expensive inflexible overhead grill system, resulting in lower quality pancakes with reduced throughput, but you'll never have to turn them again.

[ Parent ]
No problem by wiredog (4.00 / 2) #13 Thu Feb 07, 2008 at 06:37:04 AM EST
Got them right here..

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

[ Parent ]
Missing Poll Option: by greyrat (4.00 / 1) #2 Thu Feb 07, 2008 at 03:56:17 AM EST
  • Huh?


  • Weird Al doing New Wave by wiredog (4.00 / 1) #4 Thu Feb 07, 2008 at 04:31:01 AM EST
    Doing it pretty well, too. Man, he was great in the 80's. The perfect decade for his schtick, as the 70's were for Zappa.

    I have no idea who the 90's equivalent is, or the current version.

    Earth First!
    (We can strip mine the rest later.)

    Al is still putting out hits. by muchagecko (4.00 / 1) #6 Thu Feb 07, 2008 at 04:54:57 AM EST
    My kids love him, especially my son. They've memorized White and Nerdy.

    "It means more if you have to earn it, even if it's by doing something as simple as eating a meal." Kellnerin
    [ Parent ]
    UR TEH FALEIT by Rogerborg (4.00 / 3) #7 Thu Feb 07, 2008 at 04:56:23 AM EST
    Corp: We demanding 64 bits of versions!
    REC's Soon To Be Promoted CowLeague: Sure, just buy two 32 bit licenses.

    And that's how the smart techies get their promotion to sales and marketing.

    -
    Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.

    Whaddafug? by ReallyEvilCanine (4.00 / 2) #9 Thu Feb 07, 2008 at 05:16:46 AM EST
    "License"? Is this something I should know or care about?

    the internet: amplifier of stupidity -- discordia

    [ Parent ]
    Used to great effect. by hulver (4.00 / 2) #14 Thu Feb 07, 2008 at 06:40:51 AM EST
    "I'm sorry, you don't have a support license. Please go away"
    --
    Cheese is not a hat. - clock
    [ Parent ]
    If they don't have the contract by ReallyEvilCanine (4.00 / 1) #16 Thu Feb 07, 2008 at 07:01:10 AM EST
    I never see the ticket. I see your point though.

    the internet: amplifier of stupidity -- discordia

    [ Parent ]
    A Day in the Life | 16 comments (16 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback