Friday I stayed sober until after midnight in order to pick my friends up from the airport.  (My sobriety commitment here meant I had to miss happy hour with Blixco and others.)  They were flying back to Austin after a nice two week vacation in Mexico to celebrate their 10 year anniversary.  Their flight was delayed and their luggage didn't made it to Austin.  I was circling and/or waiting for them for around 2 hours.  This wasn't as troubling or frustrating for me as it could have been.  I don't know how, but it just didn't affect me much.  My poor friends, though, spent around 12 hours from the time they left their resort in Mexico to the front door of their house and made it home with only their carry-ons.  Hopes were high, though, that the airline would get their luggage to them.  I still don't know what severe weather in which part of the country caused all the flight problems.

Saturday was cold and rainy but I managed to go out for some shopping.  I was hoping that a little retail therapy would help pull me out of my depression.  It helped a little bit but maybe just being out of the house for a while was what did the trick. 

I made a lot of phone calls trying to find the coffee maker I want and finally I had to give up.  Filip may buy me this coffee maker from Amazon.com instead.  Here's an illustration of the desperation I experienced in trying to find this coffee maker:  I went into Starbucks!  They didn't have what I needed and I left without buying anything at all.  What I'm looking for is a Bodum "Santos" electric coffee maker.  If you want to know more, just google it. 

I was tense and depressed on Saturday night and tried to help that mood with a few bottles of Shiner.  During dinner, frustrations with the home theater almost catapulted me into a blind rage.  For a brief moment I wanted to smash some shit.  I kept it in check, only barely, and managed to avoid any property destruction.  This sudden flash of anger surprised and scared me a little, too.  Filip witnessed this as well and i assured him it wasn't directed at him.

I got up early on Sunday morning and made breakfast for Filip and myself - biscuits and gravy.  I'm tellin' you - I can make a mean batch of cream gravy.  I don't make biscuits but I find that the frozen kind work nicely.

I was still in a bad mood and I had high hopes that a nice church service would help.  Even the odd and awkward services I've been attending in the course of my church search have left me in a better mood.

I headed off to church at the University Avenue Church of Christ (practically on the UT campus) at 10:00 for a 10:30 service.  I knew from attending this church before that I would have more than enough travel time but that since there was a marathon going on, I could easily use the extra time.  I didn't research the marathon route before heading out.  I entered the downtown area with no problems and as I drove to the church parking lot I saw that traffic had stopped for the marathon.  As I joined the other waiting cars I was three long blocks away from where I need to park and there were no closer lots I could park in.

8 cars ahead of me, a duo of police officers were directing traffic through the intersection.  They keenly watched the marathon runners and directed short bursts of traffic through the intersection when there are large enough gaps between runners.  As I sat there waiting, I saw that I could be stuck for 15 minutes without being seriously late for services.  In the meantime, I enjoyed the pleasant weather, I watched the stream of marathon runners, and I got to listen to live music from a jazz ensemble who'd set up on the corner.  When I was finally directed through the intersection, I saw that the oncoming lanes of traffic had blocked the next intersection where I needed to turn in order to park.  "No problem," I thought, "this next intersection isn't blocked so I'll just turn there."

When I turned, though, panic began to set in as I realized a one-way street prohibited me from getting to where I needed to be.  In retrospect, I should have explored a few other ways to get to the parking lot or I could have violated the one-way street without much danger.  Instead, I panicked and tried to go back the way I came and ended up stuck in traffic, waiting for the marathon runners again.  After I calmed myself a little, I made a U-turn and tried to find another place to park but, as anyone in Austin can tell you, parking on the UT campus is difficult.  I didn't have a backup plan and I didn't know where else I could have parked.

By this time I was 10 minutes late for services and I gave up.  The experience was very upsetting and caused me a lot of stress.  Through it all, though, I restrained myself from blaming the marathon organizers or the runners.  It was my fault for not planning far enough ahead and for making bad decisions.  I decided that the best thing to do was to go home, change clothes, and go for a long nature walk instead.  In the process of getting out of downtown and back home again, I had to wait at another intersection for the marathon.  Having crossed the route once, I had to either wait for the marathon to end or I had to cross the route again in order to get out.  In the end, I was in traffic for 90 minutes.  By the time I got home, I felt like I was going to have an aneurysm.

When I walked into the house, Filip was on the phone.  I changed clothes, wrote him a quick note, and headed out to Walnut Creek Park, which is pretty close to my house.  I was at the park for about two hours just walking around and taking a few photos.  Lots of other people were at the park, many of them with their dogs.  After a good long hike and a little bit of solitude I began to feel better.

After the park, I went to a home improvement store and bought a few things for my lawn and garden.  The rest of the afternoon I puttered around in the yard.  It felt good to be outdoors in such pleasant weather and it was very satisfying to do some yard work.

By the time I finished working in the yard and had a shower, I was almost back to my normal self.  Today, I feel completely restored and normal. I think it would help my emotional and physical condition if I spent more time outdoors when the weather permits.  I've known this for a long time and I've made many resolutions to go to the park or to work in the yard more often.