Print Story Today==Not Good
Diary
By toxicfur (Wed Feb 13, 2008 at 09:14:55 PM EST) (all tags)
Today is the first Wednesday I've been home since my mom died. Wednesday is the day I always called her at 8:00pm. If I didn't call on time, she worried. If I called on a different day, it was because I had something to tell her or ask her. Wednesdays were our day to catch up and just talk about our lives. Tonight, I really, really miss my mom.

Inside, other reasons the day sucks. Also, I need some advice (skip down to the end for the question).



Last night, we got a couple of inches of snow. Today, we got more than two inches of rain. Those two things are not equivalent. It's been damp and dreary and chilly and horrid today.

I went to the City Hall and got dog licenses today. No worries that Rusti's rabies certificate was from out of state. I paid my $20/dog and was on my way.

On my way home, my cell phone rang, and it was my brother P, dad to my niece.

"I was going to call you tonight," I said, pleased.

"Were you," he said. "I'm, ah, on the way to the hospital."

In order, I worried that a) he'd been injured at work/in a car accident; b) that something was wrong with the baby; and c) that something was wrong with his wife. It turned out it was c. A had been bleeding in the normal, post vaginal birth sort of way, and had almost stopped. Until today, when there was a substantial amount of blood. Her mom took her and the baby to the hospital (since P was at work more than an hour away), and they took her into surgery.

I called my other brother, who went to the hospital to see how things were going, and he kept me up-to-date. She's fine now, being kept overnight after having her uterus cleaned out. They have no idea why she was bleeding, but they're going to do some tests, blah, blah, blah. Scares the pure hell out of me. That baby deserves to grow up with two parents who love her. She already lost a grandparent who loves her.


Work sucks. Deadlines that are next week with PIs who are out of town suck. That is all about that.
Well, not entirely. I miss $office_mate more than I thought I would. I hope I get to see her soon.
Tonight, I cooked a nice dinner (I hope it heats up well, since ana's at choir), and decided after I ate, that I'd repot the rosemary plant we bought before Christmas. It was more than 3/4 dead, but there was new growth on this one part. I'd get rid of the dead stuff, give it some room to grow, and maybe it wouldn't have to be completely disposed of. I went down to the basement to get the potting soil and... Remember the 2+ inches of rain? A substantial amount of it ended up in our basement.

I spent the next 40 minutes vacuuming water and trying not to reinjure my back while emptying the shopvac through the bulkhead doors. Today, I really hate living in New England, in a 100-year-old house.


Advice Needed

My cat won't come from the attic, except in the middle of the night to eat and cuddle a bit. He's absolutely terrified of Rusti, my mom's dog. I miss my cat. I want him to come downstairs and meow at me to feed him. I want to hear him wandering around singing his little kitty operas.

The first time Rusti saw Silas, she chased him. I expected him to retaliate and swat her (like he did to Rocky), but he didn't -- he just went to hide. I've tried to re-introduce them, from across the room. Rusti was restrained, Silas (the cat) was in my lap. He bit me through my thumbnail (yes, as a matter of fact, it does hurt like a motherfucker).

What do I do? He's so scared, and it makes me sad. If Simon, the cat who died right after Thanksgiving, was still here, then he'd teach her right away who's in charge. Silas apparently doesn't have that confidence on his own. Rusti is crated while I'm gone.

Okay, an update. While I was writing this, Silas came down from the attic to the upstairs bedroom and was hanging out with ana. Rusti went up and, while ana's back was turned (trying to figure out where the leak is coming from), chased Silas. I realized what was happening and went dashing upstairs, put Rusti on the floor and wouldn't let her look at the cat. Then I held her butt first to Silas, who sniffed her, hissed, and swatted her. I hope she learned a little respect. But Silas is still terrified.

How can I get my cat back, without finding a new home for Rusti?

< ATTN Seattle HuSimians | BBC White season: 'Rivers of Blood' >
Today==Not Good | 36 comments (36 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
give by ammoniacal (4.00 / 1) #1 Wed Feb 13, 2008 at 09:20:16 PM EST
kitty an alternative ground-level sanctuary to hide from teh dog for a while. kitty will probably eventually get used to dog.

i think you're probably expecting a bit too much accommodation too soon.

also, they probably just missed a bit of placenta during the post-delivery exam. nothing to worry about now that they've d&c'ed her.

Irony: ammo says it's time. Tom is blocked.


Thanks. by toxicfur (4.00 / 1) #2 Wed Feb 13, 2008 at 09:24:04 PM EST
I'll see if I can figure out a ground-level sanctuary for the cat. Our bedroom was a second-floor one, but I'm not sure he'll come back there now....

And, yeah, I think my sister-in-law will be fine, but it was really frightening to think she was going in for (undefined at the time) surgery for complications from the birth. It's amazing that birth works as well as it does as often as it does IMO, but it's scary as fuck when something isn't right.
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If you don't get a Bonnie, my universe will not make sense. --blixco
[ Parent ]

also... by ammoniacal (2.00 / 0) #3 Wed Feb 13, 2008 at 09:26:08 PM EST
take care of that finger. got peroxide?

Irony: ammo says it's time. Tom is blocked.
[ Parent ]

Peroxide: by toxicfur (4.00 / 1) #4 Wed Feb 13, 2008 at 09:30:39 PM EST
Check. Also soaked in warm salt water. It happened a couple of days ago, and doesn't seem to be getting infected (and seems to be healing). I really do think my immune system is stronger since I quit smoking (no colds this year, for instance).
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If you don't get a Bonnie, my universe will not make sense. --blixco
[ Parent ]

Not strictly venomous, but... by Alan Crowe (2.00 / 0) #32 Fri Feb 15, 2008 at 03:04:22 PM EST
Although cats do not have venom their mouths harbour lots of bacteria and cat bites routinely become infected.

I remember grooming Pookie, my tabby cat, and discovering the characteristic double punctures of a cat bite. I took him to the vet and we started antibiotics immediately, before the wound swelled up.

He had been fighting a neighbour's cat for control of the drying green, a shared patch of grass. I assumed that he had lost, but as the days went by Pookie patrolled the green and the other cat was no-where to be seen.

My best guess was that each cat had bitten the other and that the other cat's owner had discovered the wound on the usual time-line, noticing because the cat had become ill and the wound had swelled due to the infection. So the rival cat was ill and my cat won the battle of the drying green due to superior medical back-up from his food ape.

[ Parent ]

scary as fuck when something isn't right by StackyMcRacky (4.00 / 1) #26 Thu Feb 14, 2008 at 09:44:16 AM EST
yeah.  tell me about it.

[ Parent ]

meow by Pasofol (4.00 / 1) #5 Wed Feb 13, 2008 at 09:31:14 PM EST
Forcible contact with each other may work but have no idea how well.  I'm pretty sure there was a dog whisper episode like this.

Funny my grandma's dog has the opposite problem.  Dog plays with the cats when no one is around but if he sees someone watching him he chases them pretending he's a tough guy.

So maybe enough time and things will work out for themselves.



I love the dog whisperer. by toxicfur (4.00 / 1) #13 Wed Feb 13, 2008 at 10:33:40 PM EST
I don't think I've seen that episode, though. I'll have to look for it. My other dogs have either been really submissive to the cats (Rocky) or treated the cats like odd little sheep (Sadie, who died almost two years ago). I've never had to deal with a dog who chases cats - or had to deal with a cat who doesn't realize he could fix this problem himself.
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If you don't get a Bonnie, my universe will not make sense. --blixco
[ Parent ]

meee too. by LilFlightTest (4.00 / 1) #30 Thu Feb 14, 2008 at 05:39:33 PM EST
and i still can't understand how people don't realize that anyone can do that, if they have the right attitude.
---------
if de-virgination results in me being able to birth hammerhead sharks, SIGN ME UP!!! --misslake
[ Parent ]

So, call your mom. Tell here what's up. by greyrat (4.00 / 5) #6 Wed Feb 13, 2008 at 10:01:50 PM EST
I'm sure she's listening. She might be worried.

#HUG#

~
There is absolutely no correlation or causation amongst intelligence, power, talent and wealth.
Kha-Nyou


Damn you. by toxicfur (4.00 / 2) #8 Wed Feb 13, 2008 at 10:18:29 PM EST
You made me cry.

Thanks. I did that tonight, while vacuuming up water.
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If you don't get a Bonnie, my universe will not make sense. --blixco
[ Parent ]

I love you too. by greyrat (4.00 / 2) #11 Wed Feb 13, 2008 at 10:28:56 PM EST
Don't let ana know.
~
There is absolutely no correlation or causation amongst intelligence, power, talent and wealth.
Kha-Nyou
[ Parent ]

Advice: by vorheesleatherface (4.00 / 2) #7 Wed Feb 13, 2008 at 10:15:46 PM EST
Time.

"Stabbing someone in the head with a pitchfork is rarely beneficial to the relationship." - MereKat


Sorry... by ana (4.00 / 1) #9 Wed Feb 13, 2008 at 10:25:35 PM EST
I wasn't home to help with the water. The chicken pasta thing was nice, though.

*hugses*

"And this ... is a piece of Synergy." --Kellnerin


Thanks. by toxicfur (2.00 / 0) #25 Thu Feb 14, 2008 at 09:11:59 AM EST
And I didn't mind vacuuming up the water -- it was more that it leaked at all. And I'm glad you liked the chicken pasta stuff. I meant to bring the rest of it for lunch today.... Ah, well.
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If you don't get a Bonnie, my universe will not make sense. --blixco
[ Parent ]

Are you not like married or something :-) by Tonatiuh (2.00 / 0) #35 Fri Feb 22, 2008 at 09:56:07 AM EST
Do you live in the same place :-)

[ Parent ]

We often communicate by internet :P by toxicfur (2.00 / 0) #36 Fri Feb 22, 2008 at 01:08:41 PM EST
We're odd that way.
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If you don't get a Bonnie, my universe will not make sense. --blixco
[ Parent ]

Was Rusti alpha? by fencepost (4.00 / 1) #10 Wed Feb 13, 2008 at 10:26:29 PM EST
Rusti may be thinking "I'm the boss in this house" and needs to be disabused of that notion.



Rusti *was* alpha. by toxicfur (2.00 / 0) #12 Wed Feb 13, 2008 at 10:31:34 PM EST
Actually, she was only, and my mom let her get away with far too much, IMO. She's already learned that she is not to dominate my other dog, and before I even left North Carolina with her, she knew she couldn't dominate me (I hold up one finger, and she sits and stays now). I think she still has to learn that a) she cannot act aggressive to anyone, ever, no matter what sort of a critter it is; and b) ana is also alpha and she must listen. VLF is right -- we need time.
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If you don't get a Bonnie, my universe will not make sense. --blixco
[ Parent ]

Rusti by StackyMcRacky (4.00 / 1) #27 Thu Feb 14, 2008 at 09:45:25 AM EST
is a Jack Russel Terrier.  enough said!

[ Parent ]

jrt's are HIGH maintenance... by clock (4.00 / 2) #14 Wed Feb 13, 2008 at 10:37:39 PM EST
...and must be kept busy at all times.  i'm not surprised that there is much chasing.  the inlaws evil dog chases squirrels, porschea and anything that moves.  it sounds like the kitty needs to set the boundaries.  porschea (the 100 pound rottie) had to do that with the inlaw's jrt.  it was...bloody...but it worked.  there is now respect and no dominating.

a little time will go a long way, methinks.  good luck!


Clock is right. [nt] --vorheesleatherface



Thanks. by toxicfur (4.00 / 1) #15 Wed Feb 13, 2008 at 10:58:47 PM EST
Jack Russell is *not* the breed I would've picked, but the last decade, pets have chosen me, rather than the other way around. Overall, it seems to have worked. This one will be a challenge, though. I am making sure she has exercise and a routine and a very clear idea of who is in charge. Right now, I guess that's all I can do. I just wish I still had Simon, who would've chosen the bloody-but-effective method of teaching her what's what.
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If you don't get a Bonnie, my universe will not make sense. --blixco
[ Parent ]

Quit your job or rehome the dog by Rogerborg (2.00 / 0) #16 Thu Feb 14, 2008 at 05:53:43 AM EST
When even the Wikiwankery admits that they may not be ZOMG JUST TEH BESTAST DOGGIES EVAR!!! you know you've got a serious problem.  The sooner you do it, the easier it'll be on everyone involved.

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.


Heh. by toxicfur (4.00 / 1) #17 Thu Feb 14, 2008 at 07:07:00 AM EST
I think I'd rather put up with the dog (and give her the sort of attention/exercise/etc.) that she needs than risk the pissed off ghost of my mother haunting me for not giving her pretty girl a good home. Actually, I know all the downsides of Jack Russells, and I also know that this one is 6.5 years old, and she listened to my mom. She'll learn to listen to me.
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If you don't get a Bonnie, my universe will not make sense. --blixco
[ Parent ]

You rationalise, girl! by Rogerborg (4.00 / 1) #18 Thu Feb 14, 2008 at 07:51:09 AM EST
I too am sure that you will able to train the ratdog to behave itself while it is in your presence.

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Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]

And when she's not in my presence... by toxicfur (4.00 / 1) #24 Thu Feb 14, 2008 at 09:10:06 AM EST
she's in her crate. Or with ana, and she mostly behaves when she's with ana.
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If you don't get a Bonnie, my universe will not make sense. --blixco
[ Parent ]

Kitty needs something like by wiredog (4.00 / 1) #19 Thu Feb 14, 2008 at 08:14:39 AM EST
This. A place he can climb up on top of where the dog can't get at him. There are much cheaper ones at Target and Petsmart. If you get a cheap one put some bricks in the bottom so it doesn't tip over.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)



cool by Merekat (4.00 / 1) #20 Thu Feb 14, 2008 at 08:19:56 AM EST
However, I have seen a Jack Russell climb a tree.

[ Parent ]

Though she's tried... by toxicfur (2.00 / 0) #22 Thu Feb 14, 2008 at 09:07:05 AM EST
Rusti has never been able to climb trees. Silas, on the other hand, managed to get himself on the roof of our garage once, trying to catch a squirrel. Something like that might actually help.
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If you don't get a Bonnie, my universe will not make sense. --blixco
[ Parent ]

or, build your own by wndl (4.00 / 1) #31 Fri Feb 15, 2008 at 11:06:24 AM EST
this one at ikea hacker is pretty cool and fully customizable!

"...there you have it: an actual anecdote, second hand, from the Internet."--DesiredUsername
"what fun is gettin naked on a webcam if ya have to provide tech support"--dev trash

[ Parent ]

Sorry for your sadness. by ambrosen (4.00 / 2) #21 Thu Feb 14, 2008 at 08:48:35 AM EST
Also, I'm sorry that I didn't write condolences for you earlier. I just didn't know what to say.

Here's to many more and less sad times when you talk to your mum on a Wednesday evening, even if she doesn't talk back.

And here's to Rusti becoming a little less Jack Russell like.



Thank you, very much. by toxicfur (2.00 / 0) #23 Thu Feb 14, 2008 at 09:09:05 AM EST

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If you don't get a Bonnie, my universe will not make sense. --blixco
[ Parent ]

i'm glad the s-i-l is OK by StackyMcRacky (4.00 / 1) #28 Thu Feb 14, 2008 at 09:49:25 AM EST
also, Rusti needs to keep busy (as you know).  Remember that Kong is your friend.  Make a smoothie, put chunky bits in it, freeze overnight, "hide" before you leave.  That should keep Rusti busy.

Hrm, since you crate him during the day, that won't work.  Still, Kong is your friend - do it in the evenings?



Thanks. by toxicfur (2.00 / 0) #29 Thu Feb 14, 2008 at 11:27:31 AM EST
I'm glad she's okay, too.

And yes, I know Rusti needs to be kept busy. I think I might get her a Kong to play with in her crate (it's a larger, kennel-type crate that she can stand up and move around in). She sleeps most of the day, anyway, and she's unconcerned by needing to sleep in the crate -- that's her space after all. Also, as soon as I get a few minutes to call (see above about work), I'm going to schedule a dog walker to come two to three times a week (when I'm working in the office and not at home) to give both dogs some exercise and her some additional socialization.
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If you don't get a Bonnie, my universe will not make sense. --blixco
[ Parent ]

I would call my brother's cell phone by Lady Jane (4.00 / 2) #33 Mon Feb 18, 2008 at 05:50:19 PM EST
just to hear his voice message.  Until that was shut off. 

On his birthday, and the anniversary of the day he died, my sisters and I get together.  Often we write him messages, things going on in our lives that we want to share with hime.  He knows, of course, but being able to tell it to him is different.  So we attach these to balloons and let them go.  And we all stand around and watch them as they disappear and know that somehow our messages and love make their way to him.

It's not the same, but it helps.

-----------------------------------------
"Buttons aren't toys" -- Trillian


I wish... by toxicfur (2.00 / 0) #34 Mon Feb 18, 2008 at 05:59:48 PM EST
my mom had recorded something herself on her answering machine. But the phone there has been turned off now. I think I'll likely write to my mom, and continue to talk to her. I love the image of sending the messages via balloon, however, and it's just the sort of thing my mom would've found charming.
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If you don't get a Bonnie, my universe will not make sense. --blixco
[ Parent ]

Today==Not Good | 36 comments (36 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback