I'm terribly run down at the moment. Not even heavy drinking makes it better. Trust me, I tried. Scientifically. Double, as it were, blind.
It's been cold, so I've been too lazy to walk to the gym. I think that might contribute to my being run down. I could drive the mile to the gym. But I have to get an ice scraper and scrape the ice off my car. I really should do that.
I really should also do some friggin work.
I've got to get away. I feel I've gone and screwed it all up. Sold the birthright for a mess of pottage. Walking hundreds of miles barefoot and growing a beard to make up for it.
I ate salmon last night. I also drank beer. I really enjoyed the salmon. I ate it the night before. I really enjoyed it then, too. That's why I ate it last night. I don't have a lunch with me. Maybe I should buy more smoked salmon and some crackers and eat salmon for lunch.
I picked up War and Peace as soon as the Pevear and Volokhonsky translation came out in paperback. It's been sitting on my desk for a week now. I might start it while at lunch today. While eating salmon.
I have a headache. I have several little scars on my hands. I remember why I have most of them, but a couple aren't well-explained. My headache is well-explained. Science.
When I run into this girl, I'll ask her if she eats dinner. Then I will ask if she will eat dinner with me. I will pretend to be awkward. It should be endearing. It should work, since I will run into her right around dinner time and it would be natural to pop into the Thai place around the corner. I had thought of doing so with some other guy and her roommate because they are also there and I wasn't sure which of the pair to ask to dinner. I might still do that. But then: I'm not sure if I'm ready yet. I might have to do a lot more scientific research into the causes of headaches possibly followed by regrettable phone calls/letters. A couple months of that. And hair shirts, wandering barefoot, etc. I might just skip lunch today. "Do you eat dinner?" No, no, I don't. No salmon, no doubt.
It is all a distraction. A way to avoid standing before the mirror under a harsh light.
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