Print Story We have become. . .
Diary
By nightflameblue (Wed Dec 31, 2008 at 05:00:59 AM EST) (all tags)
so god damn powerful.

Words, wine, and River kicks fucking ass. And a statement on the year before flipping that next tick.



We have become
So god damn powerful

Had the brother-in-law over. The one that was over the last time I got schnockerz off my rocksers. He asked halfway through dinner, "what were you drinking that night?"

"Wine, whiskey, and rum," I say, sipping the wine in front of me.

He smiles like a dumbass and starts slapping the table, "DO IT AGAIN! DO IT AGAIN!"

Asshole.

We have become
so god damned powerful.

So, he finally watched Firefly and Serenity, after holding our boxsets for about six months now. He watched two episodes one night after I chewed his ass and told him he could either watch it or give it back. He watched the rest of it the next day, hooked as both Mrs. NFB and I thought he would be.

"And that part where River is stuck there with all the Reavers coming at her? I was all excited and thinking 'yeah, this is gonna fucking rule,' and then they cut away. And then at the end of it when they just show her standing there with all the blood and bodies. THAT WAS FUCKING AWESOME!"

I said, "Told you."

Mrs. NFB quipped, "next time we tell you to watch something, FUCKING WATCH IT!"

That's my sweetie. Polite and demure to the last.

We have become
so god damn powerful.

After the BiL took off, I headed back to my office and started writing. I wrote like a motherfucker possessed last night. The concept of home, the end of the first leg of the main characters' journey, and the familiar feeling of family drawing layer upon layer out of my mind.

I look up and see it's past one in the morning. Curious, I check my project stats. I'm well past 40,000 words.

And once again I found myself surprised by actions taken by the characters, pushing through issues I'd laid the resolution point out so far further along. But the natural course of interactions require that resolution when it feels like it should occur, not when my stupid brainstorming session says it should. And I realize it makes further points already plotted along the path more natural as well.

And the weird sensation that I'm not in control is beginning to feel comfortable to me. Driven.

We have become
so god damn powerful.

2008 - the year I finally found peace. So many different parts of me resolving into a single entity and showing me, it's OK to focus. It's OK to leave things sit and come back to them. It's OK to let my mind tell me what to do with those spare moments between tasks that need completed.

You've been a good one for me, motherfucker. And I'll always remember that.

Determination,
perseverance,
resolution...
Resurrection

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