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By johnny (Mon Nov 17, 2008 at 04:03:27 AM EST) (all tags)
As described elsewhere and elsewhere (and a few other elsewheres that I'm not going to bother with), Cheeseburger and Kellnerin and I have been working on a little book for a long time. I wrote it, Cheeseburger illustrated it, and Kellnerin provided wonderful editorial services.

Well, it's ready.

UPDATE The book is still at the printer, sorry for the delay. Another string of horrible events delayed the final preparation of this book, but I do expect to have copies in hand on January 31, and to post them the same day to those who have ordered them. So, the bad news is that the book is running late. Good news is that Younger Daughter was not killed in that car wreck, and that (in separate incident) Wife's shoulder was the only thing broken -- her skull is intact. But tending to these two women, among other things, really cut into Pains production schedule. Sigh.


Read THE PAINS or I will shoot you in the face.

Read The Pains or I will shoot you in the face.

First, a big thank you to those of you who pre-ordered years ago. Your patience will be rewarded soon.

Second, see "press release" below. I'll be sending it out to "Cape & Islands" and Boston newspapers and radio stations-- or rather, my wife will, as she has a lot of contacts from her work at the library. Feel free to mock the release in the comments.

Third, please help us spread the word. We could use the dough, you see. (Buy using check in the mail or paypal.) I myself need it desperately. How desperately? You don't want to know.  Please, please, please pass along this info to your friends and neighbors and everyone you meet, including (but not limited to) people in the grocery store aisles and checkout lines, people on the subway trains ("tube" in London,"tram" in Switzerland, "Sardine can that moves rapidly on twin metal chopsticks" in Japan, etc.), old college friends including people that you may have even come close to marrying but thank God you didn't, your doctors, dentists and podiatrists, fellow members of your garden club, fierce rivals at the office, fellow patrons in public rest rooms, policemen directing traffic at accident sites, estranged family members, your congressional representatives and senators, Barack Obama, Lindsay Lohan and everybody who has ever had their picture in People Magazine, members of your church, ex-members of your church, and your favorite Store Associate at The Home Depot.

Please digg it, submit it to boing-boing, slashdot, metafilter, every place else you can think of. Front page it here. Do it for me. Or, if you don't like me, do it for Cheeseburger. Or, if you don't like Cheeseburger or me, do it for Kellnerin. Everybody likes Kellnerin.

Here is the press release. Thanks.

For immediate release

Contact: John R. Sundman III
Tel: 508-693-5339
Email: john[remove@remove]wetmachine.com
Web: http://www.wetmachine.com/ThePains/index.html

Vineyard Haven Author Pens Third Novel

Dystopian narrative evokes shock and dread of Orwell's classic "1984"

VINEYARD HAVEN -- John R. Sundman III, a longtime resident of Martha's Vineyard, has published his third novel. The author is popular among readers of the science fiction genre known as "techno punk," which grapples with issues such as the role of technology as a destructive force, the devolution of modern civilization, and the threats posed by socio-religious cults in a 21st-century global culture linked by the Internet.

Sundman's new novel, "The Pains," is a story of faith in a world that appears to be falling apart. It tells the story of Norman Lux, a 24-year-old novitiate in a religious order, who becomes afflicted with something akin to stigmata.

"I wanted to recapture the sense of shock and dread that George Orwell's ‘1984’ inspired when it was published back in the 20th century," Sundman said. “Orwell’s masterpiece has become so familiar that its basic message no longer shocks and disturbs us. Time and familiarity have diluted its power. I'm hoping that "The Pains" will rekindle some of the visceral excitement that readers experienced when reading ‘1984’ for the first time. That being said, it's not to everybody's taste -- some people might find it too shocking or too disturbing."

Adding to the dark aura of the book are a dozen stunning illustrations by Canadian writer and illustrator Cheeseburger Brown. Brown’s artwork has garnered several awards on both sides of the border. His short film "Space Attack!" was awarded a Stanley from the California cable broadcasters' community in 2007. He won the 2002 Lightwave Animation Award and the 2003 Hewlett-Packard Juried Digital Art Competition in 2003.

Sundman's first novel, "Acts of the Apostles," was published in 1999. It was well received by "geeks" worldwide. Slashdot gave it an excellent review, saying it was "what Tom Clancy would write if he were smart." Rusty Foster of Kuro5hin said it "may well be the ultimate hacker book." Salon.com also published a highly positive review of "Acts of the Apostles," which won Writer's Digest Magazine's "National Self-Published Book Award" competition in 2000. Sundman's novel was judged first in a field of 325 other books.

His second book, "Cheap Complex Devices," was published in 2002. Although purportedly about the "Hofstadter Prize for Machine-Written Narrative," the book is a meditation on self-awareness (human, machine, or other), and a satire of academic artificial intelligence in the spirit of Vladimir Nabokov's "Pale Fire."

For a limited time, "The Pains" will be available for download at no cost. For additional details, please visit http://www.wetmachine.com/ThePains/index.html

In addition to writing fiction, Sundman has done reporting for Salon.com and other magazines. He is a volunteer at Island Food Pantry and the Serving Hands pantry, and a member of the Tisbury Volunteer Fire Department.

For more information, please contact the author directly by telephone at 508-693-5339 or via email at john@wetmachine.com

###

< I work in Accounts Payable. I make sure everyone gets what's coming to them. | on being busy >
Painful Apotheosis Immanent | 37 comments (37 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
Hey cool by Scrymarch (4.00 / 2) #1 Mon Nov 17, 2008 at 04:26:17 AM EST
To Johnny!
To Kellnerin!
To Cheesburger Brown!

Any idea when you're posting things off?

The Political Science Department of the University of Woolloomooloo

Best guess is mid-December. by johnny (2.00 / 0) #5 Mon Nov 17, 2008 at 04:49:15 AM EST
Certainly in time for Christmas. That's kind of crucial at this point.
Buy my books, dammit!
[ Parent ]
Minor nit... by ana (4.00 / 2) #2 Mon Nov 17, 2008 at 04:42:50 AM EST
a wannabe monk is called a novice; the novitiate is the state of being a novice, or alternatively the monastic order's program for novices.

"And this ... is a piece of Synergy." --Kellnerin

good catch, thanks by johnny (4.00 / 1) #3 Mon Nov 17, 2008 at 04:47:10 AM EST
one of the benefits of posting to the web before sending galleys to the printer!
Buy my books, dammit!
[ Parent ]
Oh, and... by ana (4.00 / 1) #4 Mon Nov 17, 2008 at 04:48:05 AM EST
congrats on finally getting it out the door!

"And this ... is a piece of Synergy." --Kellnerin

[ Parent ]
I believe its origin is the building by lm (4.00 / 1) #7 Mon Nov 17, 2008 at 06:00:50 AM EST
The place where novices lived. But I could be wrong about that.

There is no more degenerate kind of state than that in which the richest are supposed to be the best.
Cicero, The Republic
[ Parent ]
Sweet. by mrgoat (4.00 / 1) #6 Mon Nov 17, 2008 at 05:38:13 AM EST
I have an idea - we should all buy the book, request strange, cryptic, silly, or otherwise unusual inscriptions, and start a picture gallery as the books arrive.

If we're lucky, we can arrange them into a story.


--top hat--
brilliant by Kellnerin (4.00 / 2) #18 Tue Nov 18, 2008 at 04:37:46 AM EST
Alternatively, johnny could write his next book in the inscriptions of The Pains -- and when people complain he hasn't finished it, he can say "no, you just haven't bought all the copies yet ..."

--
"Late to the party" is the new "ahead of the curve" -- CRwM
[ Parent ]
Seriously by Phage (4.00 / 1) #8 Mon Nov 17, 2008 at 06:48:22 AM EST
Can I get a set ?
Can I get them inscribed ?
Are you willing to post ?
Would your bank take a UK cheque/Card ? (I don't like PayPal, but will if I have to)


absolutely, clarifications below by johnny (2.00 / 0) #9 Mon Nov 17, 2008 at 07:11:37 AM EST
I can take a postal money order sent in the mail, so long as it's in dollars.  Sorry I don't have a better solution for non-US, non-paypal customers.

Acts and CCD are in stock; The Pains has not yet gone to print. That will probably happen next week some time, with books to be back from the printer a few weeks after that.  You save $5 by pre-ordering.
Buy my books, dammit!

[ Parent ]
PayPal it will have to be by Phage (4.00 / 1) #10 Mon Nov 17, 2008 at 07:17:49 AM EST
I'll check prices when I get home. Your site is appalling in IE6 !

[ Parent ]
oops! by johnny (2.00 / 0) #11 Mon Nov 17, 2008 at 07:20:40 AM EST
I never use IE, only safari and mozilla.

I put up the giant version of the picture today so that it would look killer on big screens.  Guess I should take it down and put up a smaller image.

Thanks,
Buy my books, dammit!

[ Parent ]
Standard Build at work by Phage (2.00 / 0) #12 Mon Nov 17, 2008 at 07:22:18 AM EST
Is IE6. Home is FF3 - won't be an issue.

[ Parent ]
I changed the image to smaller jpg. Maybe that by johnny (2.00 / 0) #13 Mon Nov 17, 2008 at 07:24:44 AM EST
helps a little?
Buy my books, dammit!
[ Parent ]
the link in the press release by garlic (2.00 / 0) #15 Mon Nov 17, 2008 at 03:53:37 PM EST
looks mostly good, but the graphic on the top left is hard to read.


[ Parent ]
Congrats! by duxup (4.00 / 1) #14 Mon Nov 17, 2008 at 08:16:02 AM EST
I will buy a copy shortly.

____
Hey, so... by ucblockhead (2.00 / 0) #16 Mon Nov 17, 2008 at 07:22:01 PM EST
I believe I ordered that...when do I get my hot little mitts on it!?
---
[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman
December some time by johnny (2.00 / 0) #17 Tue Nov 18, 2008 at 02:11:58 AM EST
Yes, I believe I have your order right here on my desk. . . under these papers. . . in this shoebox. . .no, in this folder. . . wait, I remember, I put it on the bulletin board. Nope, not there. Oh! I remember, it's in the basement, near the furnace! Or in the attic, among the cobwebs. . .
Buy my books, dammit!
[ Parent ]
Holy shit. by dark nowhere (4.00 / 1) #19 Fri Nov 21, 2008 at 02:59:47 AM EST
Somehow I remember that exchange, but I don't remember seriously thinking you'd use that line. Now I feel awesome. I stopped going by Farq when I realized people assumed I was a Fark reader.

How cool is that? I'll have to get a copy of this book. And it's got CBB all over it--bonus.

Chill out, snowflake.

Is that you? I had no idea by johnny (2.00 / 0) #21 Fri Nov 21, 2008 at 06:58:18 AM EST
Well, you're as famous now as a johnny book can make you, which isn't all that famous at all. But hey, take what you can get.

Order pages are here

http://www.wetmachine.com/shop/wetmachineshop.html

and here

http://www.wetmachine.com/order/orderprint.html
Buy my books, dammit!

[ Parent ]
Nor did much of anyone else, by dark nowhere (2.00 / 0) #23 Fri Nov 21, 2008 at 10:08:18 AM EST
I surprised iGrrrl in Boston, since I didn't tell her (or anyone) until after I arrived.

Sadly wiredog's situation is similar to mine, but when I am good to order it (likely before xmas anyway), what are the chances of getting you three to each scrawl something on it? Not likely, but I figure I'll ask anyway. (I'd be happy to pay whatever additional shipping in that circumstance.)

As for fame, it's more of a hey, look what I did! kinda thing. If I made a writer write, then that's gratifying. (Especially in this case since I can't really write fiction, but wish I could.)

Chill out, snowflake.

[ Parent ]
I think tri-signing can be arranged by johnny (4.00 / 1) #25 Sat Nov 22, 2008 at 04:36:17 AM EST
The timing may be tight if you want to put it under the christmas tree to yourself, but other than that I think it can be done.
Buy my books, dammit!
[ Parent ]
No hurry, by dark nowhere (4.00 / 1) #26 Sat Nov 22, 2008 at 04:42:52 AM EST
it would be worth the wait.

Chill out, snowflake.

[ Parent ]
if that's even possible by LilFlightTest (2.00 / 0) #36 Mon Dec 15, 2008 at 01:52:05 PM EST
that would be awesome, even though i'm not the thing's inspiration.

---------
if de-virgination results in me being able to birth hammerhead sharks, SIGN ME UP!!! --misslake
[ Parent ]
three? by Kellnerin (4.00 / 2) #31 Fri Nov 28, 2008 at 01:04:33 PM EST
johnny is kind to link me in to his Pains-related announcements, but there's a reason editors' names don't make it on the title page of books. johnny and CBB did the heavy lifting of creating something out of nothing, here. Mainly I provided several kicks in the ass to the scribe. Still, I'd be honored to scribble something if only to share autograph-space with these two rockstars.

--
"Late to the party" is the new "ahead of the curve" -- CRwM
[ Parent ]
Well, I, for one... by ana (4.00 / 1) #32 Fri Nov 28, 2008 at 01:11:17 PM EST
want your john henry uh kell nerin uh Kellnerin Rocks on the title page of my copy.

"And this ... is a piece of Synergy." --Kellnerin

[ Parent ]
ha by Kellnerin (4.00 / 2) #33 Fri Nov 28, 2008 at 01:22:50 PM EST
I'd forgotten my diva-bestowed surname ... that reminds me of a conversation where my co-worker Kate clarified that while our colleague Jason was the noun form of the word, (Jason, the Rock), she was the verb (Kate, who Rocks).

And if I were a rock, I'd be turquoise.

--
"Late to the party" is the new "ahead of the curve" -- CRwM

[ Parent ]
Normally... by dark nowhere (4.00 / 2) #34 Fri Nov 28, 2008 at 02:04:36 PM EST
You're right--normally the editor doesn't warrant a thought--but the way I see it, this is a bit of a community phenomenon and its in that sense that I'd value the uh, autographitti.

Chill out, snowflake.

[ Parent ]
If I wasn't unemployed, broke, and almost by wiredog (2.00 / 0) #20 Fri Nov 21, 2008 at 03:47:31 AM EST
homeless, I'd buy it. Maybe sometime this spring...

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

Send me your address via PM by blixco (4.00 / 2) #22 Fri Nov 21, 2008 at 09:45:39 AM EST
and you will have it by Xmas (in theory, since that depends on Johnny).

---------------------------------
"You bring the weasel, I'll bring the whiskey." - kellnerin
[ Parent ]
Gotta hold off by wiredog (2.00 / 0) #27 Mon Nov 24, 2008 at 05:05:53 AM EST
Really. If I can buy it, I will. Otherwise I'll be highly pressed for storage space.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

[ Parent ]
Hey by gpig (4.00 / 2) #24 Fri Nov 21, 2008 at 10:48:48 AM EST
I've been meaning to get in touch -- I'm here! (where here == WoHo).

I need some new reading while I wait for my boxes to arrive .... will send the form off in the next day or so.

If you want to save the postie some work, and you'll be on the mainland soon, we could meet up -- PM me if that sounds possible.
---
(,   ,') -- eep

got your by johnny (4.00 / 1) #35 Sat Nov 29, 2008 at 02:29:41 PM EST
order & check in the mail; thanks.

Hope to be over in WoHo to meet up with you soon.  Welcome back to the States, by the way. We're glad to have you here.
Buy my books, dammit!

[ Parent ]
Ordered! by CheeseburgerBrown (4.00 / 1) #28 Mon Nov 24, 2008 at 11:34:57 AM EST

I am from a small, unknown country in the north called Ca-na-da.
NT? by CheeseburgerBrown (4.00 / 1) #29 Mon Nov 24, 2008 at 11:36:01 AM EST
The text should've said: Congratulations on finally pinching that loaf, johnny!  I'd tell you it's fabulous but I haven't read the conclusion yet: I'd prefer to peel through a paper copy.  And, soon, I will.

I am from a small, unknown country in the north called Ca-na-da.
[ Parent ]
If enough of these by johnny (2.00 / 0) #30 Mon Nov 24, 2008 at 01:52:46 PM EST
Husi slackers and others actually order printed copies (or make appropropriate donations to the cause), perhaps I can pay you the balance of the sum we agreed upon for your work on this project, long since completed.
Buy my books, dammit!
[ Parent ]
y'all got boinged!! by 606 (4.00 / 1) #37 Tue Dec 16, 2008 at 11:53:49 AM EST
http://www.boingboing.net/2008/12/15/sundemans-the-pains.html

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imagine dancing banana here
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