Print Story Too much for words.
By nightflameblue (Mon Oct 13, 2008 at 09:08:41 AM EST) (all tags)
Blah, blah, blah. Maybe you shouldn't have? blah blah.

Move it. Work. SLOW DOWN SWEETY! I get a massage from a small handed, cold blooded babe and Mrs. NFB touches another man's lizard.

430 miles. 9 hours. Lots of detours prevented completion of original planned route. One attempted cut-off by a semi on a rough road. Outside of that, uneventful. Which was the plan. So, yay.

I came home feeling good. Relaxed. At ease.


While I was gone the boss hoarked up the server our internal web site is on. Hoarked it up BAD. I fixed it in about a half hour or so, but man was it messed up.

My desk was in shambles when I got back. I have two stacks of paper, a monitor, a phone, and a laptop on my desk. It was just scattered everywhere. My pens were missing. My change box was out where it shouldn't be. My cup was moved. The top of my filing cabinet where I keep a couple toys and some pictures was all fucked up.

I see a message from the boss to Zippy telling him to fix brak(plant engineer)'s system for him from right before the server become hosed. Suspiciouser and suspiciouser.

The crapateria head got fired/pushed-out/left last week while I was gone and they imported a new guy from up the road at the Funhouse training grounds, otherwise known as Funhouse Beta Site. The war continues.

Got a snot-message from one of the salesmonkeys about the proxy server preventing them from getting to a site. It was, well, check this, "I am getting this message a lot the last couple of months and to be honest just delete the email because going through this process is a pain in the a--!"

Dude, I haven't gotten a single message from you indicating this over the past couple months until today. If I had, your system would have been opened up wide because that proxy is in place for plant and customer service people, and anyone else an upper management person says to put on it, not salesmonkeys. Throwing a shitfit about it makes you look super smooth though, and it's going on your permanent record.

Training idiot #1 started by insulting my intelligence, then continued by referring to me as the "gentleman who is not as versed in this as Zippy is" to someone on a conference call. It did my heart good when the person on the other side of the call basically told her her entire world is a lie and I could see the gears falling out of her ears.

All that fresh off two days vacation and a weekend. Wow.


Mrs. NFB decided to do some baking for my birthday. I got the brownies I requested. Then she made some chocolate rice crispies treat things, some rice crispy rolled chocolate thing, some monster cookies, some coke-a-cola cake, some peanut butter treat and something else. Finally she ran out of steam.

And then she wonders why I've put on a few pounds.


Lizards are one of the animal groups listed on my forbidden in this house list. Mrs. NFB doesn't like them. She fears them. She hates them.

Her sister is much the same.

So it surprised me to learn that her husband not only received, but imported into their home, a gecko. We were told she told him no twice. He brought it home anyway.

This is not the first pet he's done that with.

So, our niece, their daughter, invites us over to see "Bella," her new playmate. Mrs. NFB is not amused to find out Bella is a gecko.

We meet Bella. She's a little cutie. Leopard Gecko, adult, according to the previous owner she still has her original tail and everything. Chubby little thing. I held my hand in her cage for about a minute to let her get used to my scent. She approached me, licked my hand a little, then climbed up on me. I held her up and looked her over. Then she scooted up my arm and onto my neck and huddled up against my neck right above my shoulder and stayed there for a long, long time.

Eventually, she apparently decided everything was cool because she started climbing around the back of my neck. It felt like four little tiny hands massaging and lightly scratching me. I eventually had to have Mrs. NFB's dad, the only other male there at the time, herd her back down my arm because I started thinking she was gonna slip off my back she was scooting around so much.

Eventually she settled into my hand again and Mrs. NFB decided she was brave enough to try touching Bella. She held out a finger so Bella could do the scent and lick test on her. She cringed at the feel of her tiny little tongue, then she gently touched her nose, then Bella decided, "hey, she seems pretty cool" and started making a bee-line across my arm to Mrs. NFB's hand. Mrs. NFB freaked out and started running away screaming. Bella just stopped and looked up at me like, "WTF, dude?"

I shrugged. We set her on the big bit of furniture for a couple minutes so our niece could play with her friend before I thought she should probably get back to her cage and her heat lamp. She's an extremely well behaved gecko, paying close attention to the people in the room and doing everything she can to stay close to someone. Whether that's for heat or because she just digs the people I'm not sure. Either way, it's kind of endearing.

Later, Mrs. NFB said, "you know, when she went for my hand, that kind of reminded me of our kittens. I liked that, but it scared me."

Congrats niece, you've done with one visit what I haven't been able to do in the better part of eight years. You've made progress on Mrs. NFB's lizard phobia.

So, while I doubt Mrs. NFB would let me get one yet, it's no longer a "NEVER EVER IN A MILLION YEARS EVER" thing, now it's a "maybe sometime way in the future" thing. Because she's said several times how "cute" Bella was. Cuteness is a positive attribute. It will wear on her.

That was the big event for my birthday. And that was my long weekend.


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Too much for words. | 2 comments (2 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
Spiders by Vulch (4.00 / 1) #1 Mon Oct 13, 2008 at 09:47:00 AM EST
They can be as wide across as they like, provided they are no thicker than a coat of paint.

Assistance in reaching these proportions will be given.

Spiders are fine. by nightflameblue (2.00 / 0) #2 Mon Oct 13, 2008 at 09:56:52 AM EST
So long as they aren't 'fuzzy.' If they are fuzzy, they are modified in a manner similar to what you describe. Or assisted outside if I get to them first.

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Too much for words. | 2 comments (2 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback