Print Story Almost, but not quite exactly...
Diary
By UberTaylor (Tue Sep 30, 2008 at 11:02:42 PM EST) Mother, In, Law (all tags)
...unlike tea.


Have you ever reached that point where the actions of others have perturbed you to the point where you just want to reach out across time and/or space and strangle them? Or compress their head into a neat little cube, which occupies approximately the same space as a medium-sized Lego?

So, I'm married, to woman who happens to be both the best wife I could possibly ask for, and my very bestest friend (we're BFF's, like totally!). She's awesome. But what they don't tell you in all those required pre-marriage classes that you're required by law to take, is that when you marry someone, you marry their family too. Wait...maybe they did tell me that, but I was too busy fantasizing about my (then) wife-to-be naked. That happens sometimes. Like....now. Mm-mm...marital nudity.

Where was I? Oh yes, the whole "marriage-is-a-package-deal" thing.

Don't get me wrong, there are vast swathes of my bride's family who are fantastic people. They well and truly are. But. Her. Mother.

If ever there was an intellectually incurious, a rude, crass, cruel, mean-spirited, emotional black hole of a person, it is my mother-in-law. She speaks, and caustic venom spews forth from her lips like poison, and her touch wilts with its vile putrescence.

Hyperbole aside, you get the picture.

I wish I could understand a person who seems to be happiest when everyone around them is miserable. Who makes it a point to make promises she never intends to keep, and then get incensed when her family, to whom she's made said promises, attempts to hold her to them.

I'm not generally a 'hold-my-tongue' kind of person. When I see someone being treated like shit, I tend to bring up the fact that, perhaps there's a kinder way to treat people.

But in this case? I feel my hands are tied, and I must simply watch my best beloved seethe as her mother yet again attempts to break her spirit.

Fortunately, my wife is a bright light in a sea of darkness, and I know her mother can't break her.

In fact, I doubt anything can.
< Goddamn it! | Anything but that. >
Almost, but not quite exactly... | 14 comments (14 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
Sticking up for your wife by Phil the Canuck (4.00 / 3) #1 Wed Oct 01, 2008 at 06:16:18 AM EST
is never the wrong thing to do.  Even if she gets mad at you.


What if she's being a dumb ass? by Clipper Ship (2.00 / 0) #5 Wed Oct 01, 2008 at 04:23:44 PM EST
The only way that could be not right is if she's a dumb ass and chews you out later due to her dumb-assedness.

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Destroy All Planets

[ Parent ]
In the beginning by UberTaylor (2.00 / 0) #12 Thu Oct 02, 2008 at 05:32:00 PM EST
I did. A lot, and loudly. It only made things worse and my wife requested that I stop. Out of respect for her wishes, I stopped.


[ Parent ]
What country makes you take a class before by Clipper Ship (2.00 / 0) #2 Wed Oct 01, 2008 at 06:20:59 AM EST
you get married? I didn't miss a joke there or something did I?

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Destroy All Planets

Catholic by dev trash (2.00 / 0) #8 Wed Oct 01, 2008 at 05:31:51 PM EST
N/t

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[ Parent ]
No seriously, a country actually does this? by Clipper Ship (2.00 / 0) #9 Thu Oct 02, 2008 at 03:17:26 AM EST


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Destroy All Planets

[ Parent ]
J/K Enter by UberTaylor (2.00 / 0) #10 Thu Oct 02, 2008 at 05:29:05 PM EST



[ Parent ]
Absoluetly no idea what you meant there by Clipper Ship (2.00 / 0) #13 Fri Oct 03, 2008 at 02:28:13 AM EST


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Destroy All Planets

[ Parent ]
= by UberTaylor (2.00 / 0) #14 Fri Oct 03, 2008 at 07:53:30 PM EST
Just Kidding (enter, to finish the thought)

Must be a local thing...sorry, I thought it had spread across the interpipes.


[ Parent ]
Didn't clock go through that? by wiredog (2.00 / 0) #3 Wed Oct 01, 2008 at 09:01:47 AM EST


Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

Stay strong . . . by slozo (4.00 / 1) #4 Wed Oct 01, 2008 at 02:20:09 PM EST
. . . and, hopefully, you live far enough away from the MIL so that the pain is fleeting. Perhaps make it clear what your rules are for how she treats/talks to your wife - eventually, they'll catch on. There's even an off chance they start to admire your loyalty . . .

Please allow me to introduce myself by MohammedNiyalSayeed (2.00 / 0) #6 Wed Oct 01, 2008 at 04:52:16 PM EST

I am an expert witness on people who are happiest when everyone around them is miserable; if you've got questions, I've got answers.

Seriously, though, what you can do is go out of your way to be super nice to her. It may seem counterintuitive, but as grouchy old misanthrope, I can guarantee that she will find this unbelievably annoying, possibly to the point of it invoking a nice silent treatment response.

So, is your mother-in-law single?


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You can build the most elegant fountain in the world, but eventually a winged rat will be using it as a drinking bowl.
Actually... by UberTaylor (2.00 / 0) #11 Thu Oct 02, 2008 at 05:31:03 PM EST
She's married to my emotionally castrated but still generally nice guy father-in-law. I'm currently in the midst of attempting to kill her with kindness.

But one day, I may just be attempting to kill her.


[ Parent ]
what's wrong with being happy when others are not? by dev trash (2.00 / 0) #7 Wed Oct 01, 2008 at 05:30:59 PM EST
Huh tell me!  TELL ME!

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Almost, but not quite exactly... | 14 comments (14 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback