Level 1: Prestidigitator
I learnt to drive with my dad taking me out on non-public roads with our Range Rover. One day when I was about 14, he asked me to get the vehicle from the main road and park it in the drive. Unfortunately, my sense of spatial awareness was not too good and I caught it on one of the stone gateposts. We'd taken the gates off, so the car side encountered the solid metal pegs that the gates used to hinge on, ripping a substantial hole in the side panel. Daddy was not best pleased.....
Level 2: Evoker
My first legitimate accident was on a motorbike. I went round a wet corner and found that the slipperty conditions had been enhanced with a diesel spill. I and my 125cc Honda parted company. Looking myself over, I managed to get the dinted bike restarted and headed home. It got to within 200yds before conking out, so I pushed it the rest of the way.
I went into the kitchen, shouted for my mum, and took off my leggings. It was then that I noticed that I had a substantial tear in my knee leaking blood, and only on seeing that did I start to feel dizzy.
Fortunately the local hospital still had an A&E dept and 3 or 4 stitches later my knee had stopped leaking.
That was the only accident I was shaking over.
Level 3: Conjurer
Next was shortly after passing my test, and wasn't my faultof course. I borrowed my mother's Fiesta Sport and someone pulled out in front of me. Unfortunately it spun under heavy braking and encountered a lamppost. Repairing it was a bit more costly than a simple bumper replacement, as the force of the impact had shunted some other bits of the car a little.
Level 4: Theurgist
During the Summer Holidays I earned some money driving small trucks for my dad. I'd collect bulk spirits from bonded warehouses and deliver them round the country. After unloading to one shop where I'd parked in the drive, I walked round the back to check it was clear, got in the cab and reversed out. Unfortunately a small car had parked across the drive in the intervening few seconds. I didn't notice the truck had hit the car until it encountered the engine block.....
Level 5: Thaumaturgist
I got rear ended in my next two cars. The first happened because I was racing a BMW in my Alfasud Sprint Velocewhich rusted as fast as it drove. I remembered to stop when the gates were down for a level crossing; my "opponent" didn't. My next car was also rear ended by a couple of nurses in town.
Level 6: Magician
This one was my own stupid fault. My normal car failed, so I got my Lotus Esprit out of the garage to take Mrs Mouse to work. This was silly because it was winter with lots of snow and ice. I tried to apply the power on a piece of road which looked clear and ended up doing some high speed pirouettes down the road. Strangely, I managed to recover control only for a final patch of ice to spin me into the ditch. The damage wasn't too serious; the Lotus had a protective undertray which needed replacing and that was it.
Since then (about 10 years) I've been good..
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