The summary of the accident goes something like this:  Wait in line behind white heavy duty pickup for light to change so we can turn left, light changes white pickup turns, I proceed into intersection, peripheral vision picks up motion on left, turn to look as motorcycle barrels toward me through his red light, I have the split second realisation that no matter what I do he is going to hit me, turn my face away as the window explodes at me.

Now I have never been in an accident before, I had no clue what to do, I was scared so I just sat there.  Eventually the police, firemen, and ambulance show up they ask me questions which I answer in a detached monotone that lead the paramedics to believe I was in massive shock.  They were right.  When the firefighters finally pried the drivers side door open to let me out I fell.  The runner board I normally stand on to get in or out of the vehicle was completely bent into itself.  I just stared at it and asked them if they could figure out where I was bleeding from because there was blood on my hands but no cuts on my hands.  They said I was covered in glass so the cuts could be from anywhere but that they'd figure it out. 

I was lead to an ambulance where I was probably not very helpful I was fixated on the blood on my hands until they asked me to sit down.  I did but sat up almost immediately somehow I had large chunks of glass in my panties, and I mean large pieces I don't know how they got there or how I didn't notice them sooner.  One would think a person would notice chunks of glass the size of quarters in their panties.  I fished out the glass then I listened to the questions but I couldn't figure out how to answer them, was I hurt.  It seems like an easy question but the only answer I could come up with was “I don't know”.  I tried thinking about it very hard but still the answer was the same.  I could see the motorcyclist being walked to a different ambulance I hope he had better answers than I did because mine seemed stupid to me even then.

Later at the hospital I was finally able to cry and after that I came to myself a bit.  Was I hurt yes I hurt all the way down my left side where the door had hit me.  My ankle was cut from where the plastic door pocket had broken on it.  A huge bruise was developing from my shoulder to my elbow and I was covered in tiny cuts from the glass.  It was hours before I ended up in X-ray to make sure nothing was broken, hours more before they let me leave.  All the while I kept finding more glass in my hair, on my clothes, in my undergarments.  How did glass get in my bra, no idea my coat was zipped up and I was wearing a turtleneck, stupid teleporting pervert glass.

One of my co-workers drove me home.  For days every time I washed or brushed my hair I'd find more glass.  The clothes I was wearing I washed several times and even after the third washing glass was still in the dryers lint tray.  When it finally occurred to me to check my purse I emptied it out only to find about an eighth of a cup of glass inside. 

My boyfriend picked me up at work the next day and we went to get our things out of the van.  There was glass everywhere even in the back of the van where I keep the spare tire.  I honestly didn't know there was that much glass in the window, it's like the glass multiplied as the pieces flew at me. Carefully we gathered all our things it took a while.  If I'd known this was going to happen I would have cleaned out the van.  One thing that we found wasn't ours; we found the mirror from the motorcycle under the driver's side seat.  I'm guessing that is what caused the bruise on my arm. 

I was extremely lucky that I didn't get hurt worse.  I came out of it a little banged up with cuts, bruises and a need to get a massage to take the crick out of my neck.  Looking at the mirror I realised how many things could have gone wrong.  The mirror could have hit me higher and killed me, the back tire of the motorcycle could have come through the window and killed me, and the door could have crushed my leg.  So many things could have been so much worse.  Dealing with the insurance companies, and all the hassle of money lost to handling things I really wish I had been less lucky.  Yeah I'm alive but I'm still in acres of debt which sucks and it actually will suck worse after losing my vehicle.  Couldn't I have been hurt a little and saved some of that luck for the Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes or something else with a nice little windfall?

True these are not thankful thoughts, they are not worthy of what happened.  I should be grateful but come on was my life so terrific that it was worth using up what little luck I had accumulated.  Broken arm=10 G's on a scratcher ticket maybe, something now I'm just broke and fighting to be less broke with people that don't answer the phone, while I become even more broke.  The stress of it all is dragging me down I snap at people for almost nothing, and I cry at nothing.  The insurance companies are ducking me, their initial offer on the van wouldn't buy me a Schwinn let alone a van. I'm positive my boss is getting tired of picking me up every morning and the bike ride to the train station in the afternoon has been treacherous with freezing temperatures and occasional ice storms.  To top it all off I've gotten a sinus infection.  So yeah I wish I had been a little less lucky, some days I wish I had been a lot less lucky.