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Diary
By toxicfur (Fri Jan 25, 2008 at 09:39:11 PM EST) (all tags)
01/02/1954-01/26/08

To our mother.

Rest in peace.

In Christ's name you deserve it.

And thank you for all you gave us.



< A Gilded Cage | BBC White season: 'Rivers of Blood' >
0220 | 66 comments (66 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
may God make her memory to be eternal by gzt (4.00 / 3) #1 Fri Jan 25, 2008 at 10:07:09 PM EST
memory eternal

Thank you. by toxicfur (4.00 / 2) #12 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 12:11:14 AM EST
Her first grandchild is due to be born next week. We believe she tried with everything she had to hang on until little H was born, but she didn't quite make it. The stories, though, and as much as we can about her life, will survive, through little H and any others who come into our family.
-----
If you don't get a Bonnie, my universe will not make sense. --blixco
[ Parent ]
RIP by TheophileEscargot (4.00 / 3) #2 Fri Jan 25, 2008 at 10:17:20 PM EST
So sorry for all you've been through.
--
It is unlikely that the good of a snail should reside in its shell: so is it likely that the good of a man should?
Thank you. by toxicfur (4.00 / 2) #11 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 12:09:43 AM EST

-----
If you don't get a Bonnie, my universe will not make sense. --blixco
[ Parent ]
sorry to hear it :( by cam (4.00 / 3) #3 Fri Jan 25, 2008 at 10:26:23 PM EST
nt

cam
Freedom, liberty, equity and an Australian Republic

Thank you. by toxicfur (4.00 / 3) #13 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 12:11:46 AM EST

-----
If you don't get a Bonnie, my universe will not make sense. --blixco
[ Parent ]
Not your imagery, I know by notafurry (4.00 / 3) #4 Fri Jan 25, 2008 at 10:28:33 PM EST
May her passage to the Summerlands be swift,
May her journey take her to many loves,
May her judgment be filled with joy,
May the pain of her passage fade quickly,
May the light of her life burn forever.

Blessed be.

This is beautiful. by toxicfur (4.00 / 3) #14 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 12:13:46 AM EST
And, in case there was any question, I'm not particular about the faith of those wishing my family well. This prayer means a great deal to me; thanks aren't enough. Peace be with you.
-----
If you don't get a Bonnie, my universe will not make sense. --blixco
[ Parent ]
reminds me by aphrael (4.00 / 2) #47 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 07:41:15 AM EST
of the kurdish (muslim) waiter who prayed for my brother while my brother was in iraq.

my brother, a one time born again evangelical, thought it was awesome.
If television is a babysitter, the internet is a drunk librarian who won't shut up.

[ Parent ]
(hug) by MostlyHarmless (4.00 / 3) #5 Fri Jan 25, 2008 at 10:41:04 PM EST
I know the effort you've put in the past few weeks has made a difference. Now is the time to remember.

Love from us all.

-mh
--
[Mostly Harmless]

Thank you. by toxicfur (4.00 / 2) #15 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 12:14:58 AM EST

-----
If you don't get a Bonnie, my universe will not make sense. --blixco
[ Parent ]
Rest in peace by jaxom green (4.00 / 3) #6 Fri Jan 25, 2008 at 10:43:38 PM EST
Your mother is at rest now.  You've certainly done her proud.


Thank you. by toxicfur (4.00 / 3) #17 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 12:16:32 AM EST
And I hope so.
-----
If you don't get a Bonnie, my universe will not make sense. --blixco
[ Parent ]
May you and all your family find peace by R343L (4.00 / 3) #7 Fri Jan 25, 2008 at 11:24:58 PM EST
And God bless you (as much as I can say that) in being so strong for your mother.

Hugs to both of you, as much as virtual hugs are worth anything. And thank you for sharing your life.

"There will be time, there will be time / To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet." -- Eliot

Hugs, virtual or otherwise, by toxicfur (4.00 / 2) #10 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 12:09:05 AM EST
are worth everything. I'm not sure how I would've gotten through this without you and the rest of husi. Thank you, from the depths of my soul.

Also, see my answer to blixco's comment. I'm tired -- I've had no sleep -- and I have the hiccups, probably from the vast quantity of beer I've consumed (though I don't feel drunk at all).
-----
If you don't get a Bonnie, my universe will not make sense. --blixco

[ Parent ]
Rest in peace by blixco (4.00 / 3) #8 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 12:00:30 AM EST
(and that means so much more than it carries).
---------------------------------
"You bring the weasel, I'll bring the whiskey." - kellnerin
I'm waiting for brother K... by toxicfur (4.00 / 3) #9 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 12:06:45 AM EST
and I can't sleep, and I have the hiccups, so I'm answering.

Peace is what I've been praying for for the last three years. Every Sunday that I was in church and that the little kiddies didn't monopolize it, I lit a candle for my mom, and the prayer was never "heal," but "peace." I hope she found it at the end. One day, I may write about her final moments, but in short, she told my brothers and me she loved us moments before she died. She was with us until the end, and I hope -- pray -- that she found peace. It's so much more than three letters on a tombstone to me.
-----
If you don't get a Bonnie, my universe will not make sense. --blixco

[ Parent ]
I'm positive by blixco (4.00 / 3) #19 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 12:19:35 AM EST
that peace is in the last.

Positive.

And in your mom's case, it had so much to do with you.

You've been amazing. You've done precisely what was needed, and you've done it with more strength than most of us will ever have.

Your mom is fine now, alive in your stories and memories and in your heart. And all of ours now.
---------------------------------
"You bring the weasel, I'll bring the whiskey." - kellnerin

[ Parent ]
Thank you. by toxicfur (4.00 / 3) #20 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 12:38:11 AM EST
And I hope that you know how much your words have sustained me. I can never thank you enough for that.
-----
If you don't get a Bonnie, my universe will not make sense. --blixco
[ Parent ]
Condolences by motty (4.00 / 3) #16 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 12:16:05 AM EST
Thank you for being able to share this last and most difficult period with us here.

The Jewish custom is to wish mourners a long life, so I wish you a long life.

I amd itn ecaptiaghle of drinking sthis d dar - Dr T

Thank you, very much. by toxicfur (4.00 / 2) #18 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 12:17:32 AM EST

-----
If you don't get a Bonnie, my universe will not make sense. --blixco
[ Parent ]
RIP by Metatone (4.00 / 3) #21 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 12:50:30 AM EST
Take care.

Thank you. by toxicfur (4.00 / 2) #22 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 12:53:41 AM EST
Your friendship means ver much to me.
-----
If you don't get a Bonnie, my universe will not make sense. --blixco
[ Parent ]
likewise, tf, by Metatone (4.00 / 2) #23 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 01:04:28 AM EST
very much likewise.

[ Parent ]
I'm sure by anonimouse (4.00 / 4) #24 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 01:23:31 AM EST
Your mother is grateful for your efforts in her final weeks.

Wishing you well in this moment of pain and tragedy.

anonimouse


Girls come and go but a mortgage is for 25 years -- JtL
I am so very sorry by TPD (4.00 / 4) #25 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 01:50:04 AM EST
I hope you know as others have said that your amazing strength and efforts, made her last days the best they could have possibly been!

You have been so strong and I hope you can stay that way while you remember all that was great about your mother.

HUGS

why sit, when you can sit and swivel with The Ab-SwivellerTM

I'm sorry. Condolences, tf. by yicky yacky (4.00 / 3) #26 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 02:12:47 AM EST

While the loss of a loved one is never easy or good, I'm glad in some small way that your own personal struggle with the circumstances is over. I'm sure your Mum appreciated everything you are and everything you did. RIP.

Try and get some sleep now, k? The world can wait for a while.


----
Vacuity abhors a vacuum.
Peace. by joh3n (4.00 / 3) #27 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 03:09:45 AM EST

----
I just ate about 7 pounds of meat
-theantix

You have my condolences.[nt] by vorheesleatherface (4.00 / 3) #28 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 03:19:55 AM EST



I'm sorry, at last she's at peace by georgeha (4.00 / 2) #29 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 03:30:00 AM EST



The Satrapic Household's condolences... by atreides (4.00 / 3) #30 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 03:40:14 AM EST
...to you and your family.

He sails from world to world in a flying tomb, serving gods who eat hope.

Condolences by Vertical Frankenstein (4.00 / 3) #31 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 03:51:33 AM EST
You're in my thoughts.

"We are star stuff." by iGrrrl (4.00 / 3) #32 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 04:06:17 AM EST
If we are made of the same stuff as the whirling galaxies, there is no stretch in knowing you are made of the same stuff as your mother, and she is part of you.

Into your hands, oh merciful God, we commend your servant, Nancy.

"Beautiful wine, talking of scattered everythings"
(and thanks to Scrymarch)

thank you by LilFlightTest (4.00 / 3) #33 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 04:18:24 AM EST
thank you for sharing her last weeks and days and moments with us. I don't feel that i deserve that gift, but my heart aches for you and yours. She's got peace, and whether you feel it now or not, she's doing her best to share that peace with you.
---------
if de-virgination results in me being able to birth hammerhead sharks, SIGN ME UP!!! --misslake
peace by Kellnerin (4.00 / 3) #34 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 04:23:52 AM EST
and love from D and me to you and your family.

--
"Late to the party" is the new "ahead of the curve" -- CRwM
Sorry for your loss by Bob Abooey (4.00 / 3) #35 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 05:14:04 AM EST

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

How's my blogging: Call me at 209.867.5309 to complain.

Condolences from my family to you (N/T) by theboz (4.00 / 3) #36 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 05:33:59 AM EST

- - - - -
That's what I always say about you, boz, you have a good memory for random facts about pussy. -- joh3n
Hugs by StackyMcRacky (4.00 / 3) #37 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 05:53:39 AM EST


i bid you peace. by clock (4.00 / 3) #38 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 06:05:50 AM EST
rest.  care for yourself.  you have been brilliant and have made your mama proud.

be at peace.


I agree with clock entirely --Kellnerin

She is finally at rest- by moonvine (4.00 / 3) #39 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 06:06:40 AM EST
You have been so kind and so good to your mother in her last days. There are innumerable blessings just in that, I am certain. Take care and here are some hugs from an internet stranger.

love, m

When my grandmother died.. by Driusan (4.00 / 10) #40 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 06:12:18 AM EST
One of the worst parts for me was dealing with all the friends and family who I only ever see at weddings and funerals to offer empty condolences and congratulations, and needing to pretend I'm grateful or care about their smalltalk. "Sorry for your loss," "Is there anything I can do?" "I'm so sorry," every time I hear it I want to punch them in the face and scream "No you're not!".

I usually try to avoid posting comments in diaries like this because of that.

I know that you're a very different person than I am and you appreciate the gesture, but I'm still terribly sorry that there's nothing I can say or do that will change anything.

Just be glad that it's over for her. Know that your love of your mother has been shining through in the last few days.

..and in the interest of randomly quoting famous writers or poets during hard times, remember:

In our society, any man who doesn't cry at his mother's funeral is liable to be condemned to death. - Camus

 

--
Vive le Montréal libre.
IAWTP by wiredog (2.00 / 0) #52 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 11:32:01 AM EST


Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

[ Parent ]
May and I are sorry for your loss. by Christopher Robin was Murdered (4.00 / 4) #41 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 06:13:48 AM EST
"For thou hast delivered my soul from death, mine eyes from tears, and my feet from falling."

May she rest in peace. by komet (4.00 / 3) #42 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 06:56:43 AM EST
You've been terribly dedicated.

*sympathy* by jared (4.00 / 4) #43 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 06:58:40 AM EST
Best wishes to you and the rest of your family...

Thank you for sharing your experience with us.  I hope we were able to help in some fashion.

hugs

I've very sorry by ad hoc (4.00 / 4) #44 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 07:02:18 AM EST
I'm thinking of you.

And I agree with Driusan.

See you when you get back home.
--
The three things that make a diamond also make a waffle.

so terrinly young. by aphrael (4.00 / 3) #45 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 07:21:33 AM EST
fuck cancer.

hug

she put up a brave fight, this last month. and so did you. i remain in awe of your strength.

may you find the strength to heal, now, as well.

hug
If television is a babysitter, the internet is a drunk librarian who won't shut up.

Requiescat In Pace by Gedvondur (4.00 / 3) #46 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 07:38:24 AM EST
I am so sorry for your loss. 

My thoughts are with you and yours.

Gedvondur
"...I almost puked like a pregnant StackyMcRacky." --MillMan

been hard to read the passage of time by sasquatchan (4.00 / 3) #48 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 07:51:30 AM EST
in your diaries. You've been through the thing that scare me most.

Peace by BlueOregon (4.00 / 3) #49 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 08:36:47 AM EST

My condolences for your loss.
She's no longer in pain.
It's always too young.
Fuck cancer.
<hug>

Rest in peace. by ni (4.00 / 3) #50 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 09:16:01 AM EST
I'm sorry.


"These days it seems like sometimes dreams of Italian hyper-gonadism are all a man's got to keep him going." -- CRwM
I have no words. by dev trash (4.00 / 3) #51 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 10:12:49 AM EST
Only prayers and thoughts.

--
Click
I wish you peace by Phil the Canuck (4.00 / 2) #53 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 11:48:14 AM EST
For you, for your family, and for your mother.  You made your mother proud.  Hell, you made me proud and I don't even know you.

We're sorry for your loss by FlightTest (4.00 / 3) #54 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 11:57:59 AM EST
Her pain is over, yours will subside. You've done so very, very, much, take some time now for you, to grieve, to heal.

***HUGS*** by reza (4.00 / 3) #55 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 12:28:05 PM EST
V. Eternal rest grant unto her, O Lord.
R. And let perpetual light shine upon her.
V. May she rest in peace.
R. Amen.
V. May her soul, and the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace.
R. Amen.

**HUGS**
Peace to you.  All that could have been done, was.
You ran the marathon and came out changed.
You are loved and blessed.


" Be who you are and say how you feel, because those who mind do not matter, and those who matter do not mind!" Dr. Seuss

May your heart and soul find peace and comfort. by Sapphire (4.00 / 3) #56 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 02:57:55 PM EST


Yit-gadal v'yit-kadash sh'may raba by aethucyn (4.00 / 4) #57 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 03:11:23 PM EST
b'alma dee-v'ra che-ru-tay, ve'yam-lich mal-chutay b'chai-yay-chon uv'yo-may-chon uv-cha-yay d'chol beit Yisrael, ba-agala u'vitze-man ka-riv, ve'imru amen.

Bless her soul by Corky Sherwood (4.00 / 2) #58 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 04:46:24 PM EST
and yours (and ana's anc everyone else's).  You are a strong, amazing woman.  I see where you get it from.

Now is the time to celebrate her life.  She is at peace.  Love her forever.

May God grant her mercy, and by johnny (4.00 / 3) #59 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 05:50:29 PM EST
Your diaries over this time have been works of great compassion, courage, and beauty. Thank you.

May she and all who knew and loved her find peace. Amen.
Buy my books, dammit!

Best wishes by Ignore Amos (4.00 / 3) #60 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 06:54:27 PM EST
... to you and your loved ones in this difficult time.

Rest in peace toxicfur's Mum. by Scrymarch (4.00 / 3) #61 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 07:34:49 PM EST


The Political Science Department of the University of Woolloomooloo

through the tears by wndl (4.00 / 3) #62 Sat Jan 26, 2008 at 09:15:33 PM EST
all i can say is that my heart is with you and yours

"...there you have it: an actual anecdote, second hand, from the Internet."--DesiredUsername
"what fun is gettin naked on a webcam if ya have to provide tech support"--dev trash

Sorry for your loss by hulver (4.00 / 3) #63 Sun Jan 27, 2008 at 01:54:39 AM EST

--
Cheese is not a hat. - clock
Peace by Merekat (4.00 / 3) #64 Sun Jan 27, 2008 at 02:14:26 AM EST
Take your time to grieve and then return to your life and keep the better memories with you.

It doesn't ever get better. by BadDoggie (4.00 / 3) #65 Sun Jan 27, 2008 at 05:30:55 AM EST
But, in time, it does get a little easier. In time.

woof.

OMG WE'RE FUCKED! -- duxup ?

My condolences, peace to you all. (nt) by slozo (4.00 / 2) #66 Mon Jan 28, 2008 at 04:55:00 AM EST


0220 | 66 comments (66 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback