Print Story It's not a real party unless police helicopters are involved...
Wizards and Hobbits
By Bob Abooey (Thu Sep 27, 2007 at 01:41:35 PM EST) A sad tale with a happy ending!! (all tags)
More truer words were never spoken.


This morning I sallied out yon towards my carriage to head in to the dungeon for work, only to find the right front tyre as flat as the proverbial pancake. Flat. Pancake. As. In the past I would have gotten all miffed over such an occurrence, as I hate auto repairs and the money they deprive me of. This morning I exhibited amazing personal growth as I just stood there a-lookin at it and thinking "Well I'll be damed, I've got a right flat tyre."

Truth be told it's not the most shocking event as the tyre, actually both front tyres, have had slow leaks in them for quite some time now. Instead of taking them to the auto-rama and getting them fixed I just pretend they don't leak and hope they'll fix themselves, as well as put air in them every couple months. I guess this morning the right front tyre, sans all hope that one day it's master would take it to the doctor and get it healed, just gave up and died.

As the winds of fate would have it I live close to an all in one gas station/foodmart place that has an air-hose one can use (for .75 rupees) to inflate things that require inflating. I gingerly drove the carriage across the road and filled her up with air then drove madly to my personal mechanic, Lubzo Subastirakzikani, in the hopes that the air would hold for the 10 minute drive to his shop. God was with me and the tyre held up but Lubzo, upon inspection, confirmed my deepest fears, namely that the tyre was beyond repair. Oh Woe is me, I've killed it! Killed it! I'll forever have blood rubber on my hands! I'm tainted till death.

The winds of fate were with me still, as Lubzo said he could track down some NEW tyres for me and cram them on and my carriage would then be as good as new. Oh heart be still, more sweeter words hath never my ears heard! So verily did I walk to work (it's a 10 minute walk from his shop, which, as I recall, may be how he became my personal mechanic in the first place) and awaited his phone call.

Praise Allah - he called and told me the new tyres will be crammed on this afternoon and the cost to me will only be 149,000,834 kopecks! What a deal! Praise Jesus and bless my new tyres!!!

In other less important news, who the fuck beats up monks for cripes sake?

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It's not a real party unless police helicopters are involved... | 15 comments (15 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
You should get a Japanese car Bob by georgeha (2.00 / 0) #1 Thu Sep 27, 2007 at 01:49:37 PM EST
they have advanced tyre technology, they never get flat.




I already by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #5 Thu Sep 27, 2007 at 02:08:32 PM EST
Uh, er, that is to say, I'm a union man and I only support American made cars. If suffering through a few flat tyres is the price I pay to be right then so be it!

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

How's my blogging: Call me at 209.867.5309 to complain.
[ Parent ]

Missing Poll Option: by greyrat (4.00 / 1) #2 Thu Sep 27, 2007 at 01:51:10 PM EST
  • The turtle upon which the elephants stand.
  • Hmmm. Sounds a bit like the Pledge of Allegiance...
    ~
    There is absolutely no correlation or causation amongst intelligence, power, talent and wealth.
    Kha-Nyou


    Monk beating by duxup (4.00 / 2) #3 Thu Sep 27, 2007 at 01:51:54 PM EST
    I don't get it either.  I mean I can understand beating down people with different opinions than your own, or people who eat at restaurants different than you, but monks...

    When the Axis of Evil gets together for their quarterly conference next week I'm sure there will some sort of discussion.

    Evil Guy A: Item 1 on todays adgenda, WTF is going on in Burma? Monk beating!?!?

    Evil Guy B: Monk beating, damn!

    Evil Guy C: Dude I know, WTF?
    ____


    Young grashopper by sasquatchan (2.00 / 0) #4 Thu Sep 27, 2007 at 02:00:19 PM EST
    it seems they have grown to take the pebble from the master's hands. That's who the fuck beats up monks, biatch.

    And Fix-A-Flat is a good deal cheaper than new tyres. Though you may want to get 'em balanced and rotated by Dr Bombay. Ask about a front-end alignment, if you know what I mean.



    Fix a flat? by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #6 Thu Sep 27, 2007 at 02:10:22 PM EST
    Good lord man, would you recommend taking aspirin to someone who gets their arm chopped off?

    Warmest regards,
    --Your best pal Bob

    How's my blogging: Call me at 209.867.5309 to complain.
    [ Parent ]

    darn right by sasquatchan (2.00 / 0) #7 Thu Sep 27, 2007 at 02:27:45 PM EST
    thins the blood, so they won't get a clot/thrombosis and die, and helps with the pain.

    Gosh, dare I ask what kinda software you're designing for OMM ? Some over-architected monstrosity no doubt if ya look down on simple solutions to simple problems.

    [ Parent ]

    I'll be damed by wiredog (2.00 / 0) #8 Thu Sep 27, 2007 at 02:56:23 PM EST
    You'll be damed?  Damn.  They're gonna chop off the plumbing and give you boobies? 

    Earth First!
    (We can strip mine the rest later.)



    what? by garlic (2.00 / 0) #9 Thu Sep 27, 2007 at 03:31:02 PM EST
    bob already has a great set of man-boobies, he doesn't need that sort of surgery.
    signatures are for assholes.
    [ Parent ]

    No no - it's all a myth by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #13 Thu Sep 27, 2007 at 03:48:38 PM EST
    It turns out that soy doesn't give you giant man-boobs. I don't know how I was wrong about that but there ya go.

    Warmest regards,
    --Your best pal Bob

    How's my blogging: Call me at 209.867.5309 to complain.
    [ Parent ]

    Fantasy Football by sasquatchan (2.00 / 0) #10 Thu Sep 27, 2007 at 03:31:41 PM EST
    Hey bob, you didn't post an update on the FF league. How'd last week go ?



    Sole posession of first place by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #12 Thu Sep 27, 2007 at 03:47:40 PM EST
    Read em and weep:


    Warmest regards,
    --Your best pal Bob

    How's my blogging: Call me at 209.867.5309 to complain.
    [ Parent ]

    I'd beat up a monk. by chuckles (2.00 / 0) #11 Thu Sep 27, 2007 at 03:32:09 PM EST
    I interpret their silence as contempt.
    "[S]avings does not have to keep up with inflation in order to be useful. If you don't understand why ... you don't understand the purpose of savings."
    -lm


    That interpretation is accurate by MohammedNiyalSayeed (2.00 / 0) #14 Thu Sep 27, 2007 at 04:51:38 PM EST
    Though you may want to be careful which monks you decide to beat on. Those Burmese monks may be soft little bitches, but my entire order is pretty violent and decidedly aggressive.
    -
    You can build the most elegant fountain in the world, but eventually a winged rat will be using it as a drinking bowl.
    [ Parent ]

    ob geek comment by wumpus (4.00 / 1) #15 Thu Sep 27, 2007 at 08:09:32 PM EST
    fighters, barbarians, rangers, paladins, druids, clerics, thieves (yes, I am old), bards, ... , pretty much everyone until they added NPC classes.

    Wumpus



    It's not a real party unless police helicopters are involved... | 15 comments (15 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback