Print Story Tourists!
By ad hoc (Fri Sep 14, 2007 at 02:02:30 PM EST) (all tags)
What can you do?

I live on the edge of a tourist district. Well, not so much a tourist district as a shopping district for tourists. Some historical stuff, too, like the BPL and Copley Square. The Back Bay Orange Line stop is right here too. But mostly it's a shopping district with two big malls and Newbury Street.

Boston is notorious for having twisty turny streets that can get tourists all discombobulated, so when I see someone looking all confused with a map in their hands, I will ask them what they're looking for and try to get them on their way. While my neighborhood is quite beautiful, it's a residential place and not something that's a real tourist destination, unless you're here to eat and drink, or maybe for a casual hook-up.

As I was returning home from walking the dog, there were three people -- an older couple and an adult daughter -- standing at the corner, each pointing in a different direction looking at one of those happy meal maps of the city. The ones that have eccentric tall buildings you're supposed to visit, like that Gap Outlet store or Saks and little stars for things like Museum of Fine Arts. Clearly, they were lost.

I asked what they were looking for.

In, I think, a Tennesee drawl, momma says "Prudential. I thought we were on Boyslton".

"No, this is Columbus."

"How do we get there?"

"Inside or outside?"

"Outside!" she said with a hrumpf.

Pointing up the street, I say, "See that church with the green copper top? That's Boylston. Go to that and turn left. Walk down the street and it will be on your left in the middle of a bunch of construction."

"We just came from that way."


"Can't we go this way?" indicating a back way through Tent City and the SW Corridor Park.

"You can if you know what you're doing." It's not difficult, but you end up on the back side of the Prudential and, as tall as it is, it's not at all obvious how to get in from there. That, and the South End and Back Bay streets don't line up, so it's very easy to get twisted around again, and even those that do line up are bisected by the corridor, so it's not at all clear which way to go. "I'd say go back to Boylston."

"This looks like a more direct route," she said clearly becoming agitated, "I think we'll go this way," and dismissed me with a wave of her hand.

"If that's what you've decided on, then that's the way you should go." I said and turned to leave. "Just keep a tight grip on that camera and pay careful attention to who's around you."

Her eyes got all buggy and she said, "What?"

"Good bye."

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Tourists! | 9 comments (9 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
I hope some brown people killed and ate her. by ti dave (4.00 / 3) #1 Fri Sep 14, 2007 at 03:25:24 PM EST
Would you recognize her camera if you saw it in some bushes? You should follow their route at daybreak. FREE CAMERA

I don't care if people hate my guts; I assume most of them do.
The important question is whether they are in a position to do anything about it. --W.S. Burroughs

It's bah-stahn by sasquatchan (4.00 / 2) #2 Fri Sep 14, 2007 at 04:01:17 PM EST
so you know it's no-good micks and guido greasers.

[ Parent ]
I wish they'd just kill and eat each other. by ti dave (4.00 / 1) #3 Fri Sep 14, 2007 at 07:08:01 PM EST
Other than on Columbus and St. Paddy's Days, that is.

I don't care if people hate my guts; I assume most of them do.
The important question is whether they are in a position to do anything about it. --W.S. Burroughs

[ Parent ]
Murder and cannibalism . . . by Christopher Robin was Murdered (4.00 / 4) #5 Sat Sep 15, 2007 at 04:11:17 AM EST
Murder and cannibalism, murder and cannibalism, with you its always murder and cannibalism.

Change the record, chief. What about all those times you need to kill somebody, but you're just not hungry? Or all those times when you need to eat and run, so you don't really have time to murder your lunch to death all proper like?

[ Parent ]
If I were a Capitalist, I'd say there was by ti dave (4.00 / 1) #6 Sat Sep 15, 2007 at 07:35:33 AM EST
a niche market to be filled, but I'm not, so I'll wait for the State to come to our rescue.

I don't care if people hate my guts; I assume most of them do.
The important question is whether they are in a position to do anything about it. --W.S. Burroughs

[ Parent ]
Interesting by jimgon (4.00 / 1) #9 Mon Sep 17, 2007 at 10:54:57 AM EST
I thought  we were ruled by the corporations now so the  State is Capitalist. 

Technician - "We can't even get decent physical health care. Mental health is like witchcraft here."
[ Parent ]
I'm glad you're back. by garlic (4.00 / 2) #4 Fri Sep 14, 2007 at 09:27:45 PM EST
we had this ammonical guy here for a while, but he wasn't as much fun as you.

[ Parent ]
That guy by ni (4.00 / 1) #7 Sat Sep 15, 2007 at 08:29:13 AM EST
was a fucking red.

"What woman wouldn't love a guy in WW2 aviator glasses eating their ass?" -- dest
[ Parent ]
Great answer by iGrrrl (4.00 / 2) #8 Sun Sep 16, 2007 at 05:12:24 PM EST
And how is the pup?

"Beautiful wine, talking of scattered everythings"
(and thanks to Scrymarch)

Tourists! | 9 comments (9 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback