Print Story Bumpin' tha Bike
Motorbikes
By discordia (Tue Sep 11, 2007 at 06:38:22 AM EST) (all tags)
Like a complete dimwit, I left the bike on all weekend.  Not running, just 'on'. 

Key in the ignition and everything.



Of course, come Monday AM I wander around the house chanting, "Motorcycle key, motorcycle keeeyyyy, where the FUCK ARE YOU ... oh."

And in natural compliance to the various laws (physical, chemical, murphical, etc), the thing completely fails to start via usual methods.

Fast forward 24 hours and view, if you will, yours truly kitted up for a more serious attempt.

  • First Attempt

"Hmm, I wonder if the driveway is steep enough."

I look like a right moron duck-waddling the thing at slow-to-middlin speed down the rather short, not particularly steep driveway.  Yes, the thing is in gear.  No, I'm not going nearly fast enough as I throw the clutch open.  Buhgrmbbblepffh.

Sigh.

  • Second Attempt

Rather than accepting that I have just the driveway itself to work with, I throw myself into a frenzy of tossing garage-detritus about to clear a better run-up.  I take a (pathetic) minute to let my programmers sedentary heart subside from backing the bloody thing the driveway.  I stare at my nemesis, the all too short patch of concrete.  I take a deep breath.

I'll admit it, HuSi: I did a Tarzan yell.

AAAARRrraEaarrrarAaaAAayahraaA!!!!  waddlewaddlewaddleWADDLEWADDLEKICKOVERYOUFUCKER COUGHPUBBAHGROOMBLEPUHBUBAHBUB BUB BUB BUB BUB (etc)

Now those of you who don't ride may think that bumpstarting a motorcycle is risky due to the jerkiness of throwing out the clutch.  That part isn't so bad.  Hitting those little plastic lane-dividers at low speed while turning is worse.  No, dear reader, the dangerous part of bumping your bike is the point where you've got the thing started, you're pointed 90deg perpendicular to the flow of traffic, you don't even KNOW if there are cars coming cuz you aren't looking and you're throttling the fuck out of the thing trying not to let it die. 

Oh, and never mind things like a jacket or a helmet, either.

Needless to say I parked it on a hill at work this morning.

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Bumpin' tha Bike | 13 comments (13 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
Our pepto is pink, though I voted for green by georgeha (4.00 / 1) #1 Tue Sep 11, 2007 at 06:44:15 AM EST
I have yet to bump/push start my bike, though I have jump started it, and keep a trickle charger handy.

I'm hoping to get my oil seal from speedsupplies soon, so I can fix my leak and at least ride some this fall.


what makes it worse by discordia (2.00 / 0) #4 Tue Sep 11, 2007 at 06:50:25 AM EST
is that I would have gladly jumped mine, but they put the bloody battery under the bloody gas tank.

how the hell am I supposed to work with that?

[ Parent ]
Did they get rid by sasquatchan (4.00 / 1) #2 Tue Sep 11, 2007 at 06:44:18 AM EST
of the kick-starter now-a-days ?

Damn lazy ass bikers, I tell you..

I would have used one this morning by discordia (2.00 / 0) #3 Tue Sep 11, 2007 at 06:49:48 AM EST
if I had one

[ Parent ]
They started getting rid of them in the mid 80's by georgeha (4.00 / 1) #5 Tue Sep 11, 2007 at 06:50:37 AM EST
those mc companies have no sense of history.


[ Parent ]
or of utility by discordia (2.00 / 0) #7 Tue Sep 11, 2007 at 06:52:37 AM EST
the things we sacrifice for speed/fuel economy

well, mainly speed.

[ Parent ]
If not earlier by Phage (4.00 / 1) #8 Tue Sep 11, 2007 at 06:53:27 AM EST
I last saw a kick starter on my 1980 Honda.

[ Parent ]
Now that is quality by Phage (4.00 / 4) #6 Tue Sep 11, 2007 at 06:52:02 AM EST
Onomatpoeia.

Buhgrmbbblepffh. Exactly.

I do wonder by anonimouse (4.00 / 1) #9 Tue Sep 11, 2007 at 07:04:41 AM EST
Why you're not in possession of a battery charger.

Girls come and go but a mortgage is for 25 years -- JtL
I will certainly get one by discordia (2.00 / 0) #10 Tue Sep 11, 2007 at 07:06:15 AM EST
given the inaccessability of the battery.

[ Parent ]
Battery under the tank? by crevans (1.00 / 2) #14 Tue Sep 11, 2007 at 04:29:16 PM EST
I'm thinking you're on an FZ6.

Got a DL650 myself.

[ Parent ]
yeah, bloody thing is ridiculous by discordia (2.00 / 0) #15 Tue Sep 11, 2007 at 06:02:58 PM EST
but a great ride

[ Parent ]
Dang, how old was that bike by georgeha (4.00 / 1) #12 Tue Sep 11, 2007 at 08:24:32 AM EST



Bumpin' tha Bike | 13 comments (13 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback