Print Story I has anger. Let me show you it.

From SMS today:

"OJ killed a white woman. He walked. Kobe raped a white girl. He walked. Vick killed some dogs. He's going to jail. Lesson for the day: stick to hoes, and not to bitches."


Eat It, Franchise Tax Board. I will pay a lawyer 10x what you want from me to make sure you never get a dime.

The Franchise Tax Board of California seems to think that the time I lived in North Carolina was time they missed out on stealing my money. This is probably due to the fact that I worked for a company that was based in California, and started my six wasted years with them working in California, after which I moved to Raleigh, North Carolina. Thus, they think I owe them 4000 bucks. Listen, dudes; I'll give you a call tomorrow morning, when I wake up, and explain how, exactly, you're FUCKING WRONG, but I do believe I'll be calling a lawyer directly after that, as it's painfully obvious that you FUCKED THIS UP, and if you fucked it up this bad in the first place, it should be a fucking nightmare to get it untangled. Fucking retards.

I think it's California, actually.

This week, I've had a car, so I've been commuting the ten miles to work via I-280. Ten miles. Guess how long that takes, every goddamned day. I dare you.

If you guessed lower than 45 minutes, you guessed low. The average thus far (3 days) is 56 minutes. The bus takes 53, and it stays on side streets. Want to take a guess at the number of accidents I saw? Yeah, zero. Police pull-overs? Again. zero. The problem, as best I can tell, is retards. People who enter the interstate at a sub-par speed, if not outright using their fucking brakes, then meandering across multiple lanes of traffic so they can get in "the fast lane", because, after all, they are important people on a very tight schedule, a fact reflected in the shiny chrome of their whatever. Once they have arrived in this lane, they drive the same brake-happy shit-brained way they drove in all the other lanes, then promptly bring that entire "fast lane" to a halt when they come to a complete stop waiting for someone to let them back into the next lane over, since they Totally and Absolutely Need To Cross Five Lanes Of Fucking Traffic Right Fucking Now To Make That Lawrence Expressway Exit. This complete stop effect ripples across all five lines. Now, multiply that jackass times 1000.

People at work who drive all the time have no sympathy. I don't give a fuck, this shit is completely unacceptable. I have a solution, but I think we should probably all work together to find another one, because, believe me, motherfuckers, you're not going to like my solution. Hell, you're not going to be around to have an opinion on my solution. So, shall I start downsizing you all, Cullifornians, or can we all self-police here? If you can't drive, stay the fuck off the road. If you put on sunglasses, do not put on a fucking welding helmet and big-ass floppy hat. If you're that fucking scared of the sun, stay home. If you aren't going to pay attention to what the fuck is going on around you at all times, you shouldn't have a fucking drivers license. And if you cut in front of me again, I will feed you your fucking heart. We clear, Californians? Good.

You can test me if you want. I'll be back in two weeks, ready to solve problems.

You know, it's funny; even in the most dense traffic of the daily commute, I've not seen this level of shit-headedness amongst drivers in Chicago, Detroit, New York, Boston, or even DC. Stunning, really. It'd be impressive if it didn't make me want to stab a knife in the neck of every driver I pass.

There's Nothing More Foolish Than A Man Chasing His Own Hat

So, fuck it.

Strangely, coworkers are continuing to try and thwart my decision.

Chiropractery

I am now a paying sucker to the cult of chiropractice. It reduces the pain, and I think I may get a quality general practicioner reference out of the deal, if you know what I mean.

Tonight, I think I'll watch Children of Men, but at the first hint of optimism or positivity, I'll turn that motherfucker off and watch Blue Velvet again. Don't test me, Apple TV.

Wow, My Arm Is All Kinds of Fucked Up

Not sure how that happened, but the elbow is looking pretty sweet on my left arm. Might have something to do with holding a big-assed 18v power screwdriver over my head most of the day. What kind of asshole asks for shit to be racked from U47 to U28, anyway? Fuck you, motherfucker. Next time, you do this shit yourself.

Oh, there was also a sweet moment when, while sitting in the break room outside the NOC, I listened to some chump from internal services claim to have racked half the shit I've spent the last year racking. Uh, dude, the dude who actually did the work is in the room listening to your bullshit right now. Whatevs. Count your five figures and weep, lil' lady.

My reputation as Crazy White Dude at work precedes me. Those who work with me, love me. Those who do not, fear me. Heh. And all without the benefit of the fucking beard! Man, am I awesome.

Rapid Music Reviews

I've been buying a ton of shit lately, so I've not got time to do full, proper reviews on any of it, but here's a quick rundown:

  • "In Case We Die", Architecture in Helsinki. I thought I'd like this, but, as it turns out, I don't. Maybe I will later. Probably not. Too soft and noodly.
  • "None Shall Pass", Aesop Rock. Damn, dude. Damn. New Aesop Rock albums are like new William T. Vollman novels; they take forever to absorb, fully, but they're delicious every step of the way.
  • "Eardrum", Talib Kweli. Eat it, Common.
  • "Lake Michigan", Rogue Wave. More Rogue Wave. Which I like.
  • "Everything Ecstatic", Four Tet. Very intricate, but less gripping than...
  • "Rounds", Four Tet. Fucking Kick Ass. I should probably stop listening to this when I am driving. It's not helping things.
  • "A Lazarus Taxon", Tortoise. It's somehow fitting that the retrospective boxed set is longwinded and heavy-handed in it's non-heavy-handedness.
  • "Trans Am", Trans Am. This is the best classic rock album of all time, at least for dudes who like their classic rock without the lead guitar and vocals. Like me.
  • "Liberation", Trans Am. I thought this record was pretty cool, back when Caberet Voltaire and Test Department made it the first and second time, in the mid-80s. Still, parts of it rock the fuck out.
  • "Lady Melody", Audio Karate. Fucking infectious songs about how people suck, what's not to like?
  • "Six Pence for the Sauces EP", Drake Tungsten. I went and got messed up on drugs again, the fact that you need it's enough. Heh. Earnest and insincere simultaneously. Reminds me that I friggin' love Spoon.
  • "Key", Son, Ambulance. I haven't really given this a fair shake yet.
  • "Euphemystic", Son, Ambulance. Same deal here. Wanna know why? Because...
  • Tokyo Police Club rocks entirely too fucking much. Kisses to you, Toronto.
  • Same thing with Parts & Labor's "Mapmaker".

Alright, I should probably go play GRAW2 or something, before.

Oh yeah, merry christmas. Don't say I never gave you anything. Or do. Doesn't bother me one way or the other.

The live video from the East River performance thing is pretty sweet; the entire audience is like 4 or 5 4 or 5 year olds. Kids know what's good, and kids like noise rock, yo.

< Be Nice To Me, | BBC White season: 'Rivers of Blood' >
I has anger. Let me show you it. | 31 comments (31 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
glad you like four tet by MillMan (4.00 / 1) #1 Wed Aug 29, 2007 at 08:00:07 PM EST
I don't understand the appeal of Architecture in Helsinki at all.

Also peak oil -> less drivers. The real estate agents will be the first against the wall which should increase the average driver's skill on the road quite a bit.

When I'm imprisoned as an enemy combatant, will you blog about it?

I'm not sure I can wait for peak oil by MohammedNiyalSayeed (2.00 / 0) #3 Wed Aug 29, 2007 at 08:27:12 PM EST

I need a solution by, say, tomorrow morning.

And yeah, Architecture in Helsinki is as boring as the day is long. I trust actual architecture in actual Helsinki isn't that lame, and that the band is doing a disservice to the phrase.


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You can build the most elegant fountain in the world, but eventually a winged rat will be using it as a drinking bowl.
[ Parent ]
Solution = move by blixco (4.00 / 1) #10 Thu Aug 30, 2007 at 04:01:14 AM EST
California isn't exactly new to the idea of really bad traffic.  It's sort of famous for it.  My commute twelve years ago was roughly 2 hours each way.  My dad lives twelve miles from work, and it takes him an hour to get there, and he's all the way out in Livermore.

Austin now has roughly 60 percent California population, and it shows: the same sorts of stupid traffic nonsense coupled with very high speeds in certain directions and times of day == madness.

The only place safe from Californians seems to be Georgia.
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"You bring the weasel, I'll bring the whiskey." - kellnerin

[ Parent ]
I can't move for 3 years by MohammedNiyalSayeed (4.00 / 1) #23 Thu Aug 30, 2007 at 07:58:58 PM EST

It's all part of a recently-revived plan to save up a ton of loot, then move to Barcelona and overdose on something or other.

This week, I've been amazed by the sheer number of otherwise completely politically castrated^Wcorrect people at work who blame the traffic on Asians. While I won't discount the effect any transient community suddenly finding themselves in an automobile-heavy culture and being unprepared to deal with that situation may have, I still maintain it's the general lazy attitude Cullifornians have towards life in general that compounds that problem and makes it as ubiquitous as it is.

The fucked up thing is that I can remember, almost fondly, and that's saying a fuck of a lot, considering how much I loathe Michigan, routinely doing 80+ mph with less than a car length between me and the other cars in Detroit, and we all kept the fucking speed up, and we all fucking paid attention to what was going on around us, and nobody got hurt. Out here, it's like fucking Mongoloid Central.

So, yeah, I could move, but I could also just trick 95% of the population into killing itself, and, to be honest, that seems the better of the two options. I like the proximity to the ocean that I haven't touched since February 2006.


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You can build the most elegant fountain in the world, but eventually a winged rat will be using it as a drinking bowl.
[ Parent ]
my scariest driving experience, by garlic (4.00 / 1) #31 Sun Sep 02, 2007 at 09:33:36 AM EST
getting back on the highway in detroit from the airport. The speed limit is 75, meaning people in the slow lane are doing 85, and from the airport, you merge from the left, so you have to be going 95 to not get killed.


[ Parent ]
haha. sucker by R343L (4.00 / 1) #2 Wed Aug 29, 2007 at 08:26:28 PM EST
WTF you doing driving if it's so bad? Huh? Bike man. Or walk. Or there is this train thing. If you're really fucking hardcore you'll unicycle.

Also, sometime I should tell you the boring story of how the State of California waited a year to tell me I owed a bridge toll fine. A twenty-five dollar toll. Wait, that's the whole story.

And, if MNS and MM both like Four Tet, than it looks like I have american consumerism to partake in.

"There will be time, there will be time / To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet." -- Eliot

You do know that every other day this year by MohammedNiyalSayeed (2.00 / 0) #4 Wed Aug 29, 2007 at 08:30:35 PM EST

I biked, or rode the bus, right? Walking ten miles isn't a daily option, though. I don't have 8 hours to burn. I already waste at least 3 on sleep every day, whether I need it or not.

I can't help but think that the State of Cullifornia is manned by pedantic do-gooders who lack basic reading comprehension and mathematics skills. First against the wall.

Before you do Four Tet, get yourself sold on Battles! You know it's the right thing to do.


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You can build the most elegant fountain in the world, but eventually a winged rat will be using it as a drinking bowl.
[ Parent ]
I have ticket to Battles by R343L (4.00 / 1) #5 Wed Aug 29, 2007 at 08:32:43 PM EST
Maybe I'll get some before, maybe not.

And yeah, I know you were not doing the car thing before. But WHY STOP??!?!

"There will be time, there will be time / To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet." -- Eliot

[ Parent ]
It's temporary by MohammedNiyalSayeed (2.00 / 0) #6 Wed Aug 29, 2007 at 08:38:01 PM EST

Sometimes one needs to obtain things that are larger than one would prefer to carry on one's back or on the bus, like, say, six by six feet of astroturf.


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You can build the most elegant fountain in the world, but eventually a winged rat will be using it as a drinking bowl.
[ Parent ]
Unicycle! by mrgoat (4.00 / 1) #12 Thu Aug 30, 2007 at 05:48:13 AM EST
No shit, I saw a guy just the other day going for a unicycle ride. He was done up in regular road-bike spandex gear, helmet, camelback, just going for a regular ride.

On a unicycle.

--top hat--

[ Parent ]
Was he wearing pink? by georgeha (4.00 / 1) #13 Thu Aug 30, 2007 at 06:05:58 AM EST
In the Bay Area, they have Pink Man on a unicycle.


[ Parent ]
He was not. by mrgoat (4.00 / 1) #20 Thu Aug 30, 2007 at 11:24:10 AM EST
Blue and yellow, I believe. Plus, he was in Albany.

--top hat--
[ Parent ]
Dudes, I am a human being by MohammedNiyalSayeed (2.00 / 0) #22 Thu Aug 30, 2007 at 07:52:09 PM EST

and I have a name!


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You can build the most elegant fountain in the world, but eventually a winged rat will be using it as a drinking bowl.
[ Parent ]
Get back on your unicycle! by mrgoat (4.00 / 1) #26 Fri Aug 31, 2007 at 04:35:31 AM EST
And juggle for me.

--top hat--
[ Parent ]
that's how we drizzive on teh westcoast baby by Horatio Hellpop (4.00 / 2) #7 Thu Aug 30, 2007 at 01:59:50 AM EST
Also, ain't a moment of peace and redemption in CoM until the last 5 minutes, so kick back and enjoy the longest single-take war scene in American Cinizzimagraphic History.

Also, I'm feelin' the In -n- Out Urge, so prep me a cot.

"You can't really know something until you ruin it for everyone." -some guy who used to have an account here

FUCKER by joh3n (4.00 / 2) #16 Thu Aug 30, 2007 at 07:08:42 AM EST
I havent had in n out in 3 years now..... OH GOD THE YEARNING

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I just ate about 7 pounds of meat
-theantix

[ Parent ]
Three years for me in January by georgeha (4.00 / 2) #17 Thu Aug 30, 2007 at 07:14:46 AM EST
we should start a support group.


[ Parent ]
It's been since, like, lunchtime for me by MohammedNiyalSayeed (2.00 / 0) #24 Thu Aug 30, 2007 at 08:00:37 PM EST

I'm not sure I can stand another minute!

You know, you're all welcome any time out here if you want to make a trip. MillMan would love the company.


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You can build the most elegant fountain in the world, but eventually a winged rat will be using it as a drinking bowl.
[ Parent ]
Surely you need a 4 color laser press by georgeha (4.00 / 1) #25 Fri Aug 31, 2007 at 02:02:52 AM EST
to print out system logs in color and such. Please request one, fronted by a Solaris box.


[ Parent ]
If you're going to check out Children of Men by lm (4.00 / 1) #8 Thu Aug 30, 2007 at 03:11:14 AM EST
Have faith and don't turn it off at the first hint of optimism.

There is no more degenerate kind of state than that in which the richest are supposed to be the best.
Cicero, The Republic
hint of optimism or positivity by jimgon (4.00 / 1) #9 Thu Aug 30, 2007 at 03:51:44 AM EST
Try Bridge to Terabithia.  It starts out pretty depressing, picks up a bit  and finishes with serious depression.  Two thumbs up unless you're on meds from a psychiatrist.




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Technician - "We can't even get decent physical health care. Mental health is like witchcraft here."
It's also a fucking terrible movie by debacle (4.00 / 1) #11 Thu Aug 30, 2007 at 04:51:28 AM EST
You know a movie is bad when you can give it two thumbs down based just on the audio.

IF YOU HAVE TWO FIRLES THOROWNF MONEY ART SUOCIDE GIRLS STRIPPER HPW CAN YPUS :OSE?!?!?!?(elcevisides).

[ Parent ]
I didn't think it was bad by jimgon (4.00 / 1) #18 Thu Aug 30, 2007 at 08:41:26 AM EST
I thought it was a good movie for something geared toward tweenies. 




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Technician - "We can't even get decent physical health care. Mental health is like witchcraft here."
[ Parent ]
Tweenies with down syndrome, maybe by debacle (4.00 / 1) #19 Thu Aug 30, 2007 at 10:04:36 AM EST
Maybe.

IF YOU HAVE TWO FIRLES THOROWNF MONEY ART SUOCIDE GIRLS STRIPPER HPW CAN YPUS :OSE?!?!?!?(elcevisides).

[ Parent ]
That's hot. by MohammedNiyalSayeed (2.00 / 0) #27 Fri Aug 31, 2007 at 05:36:12 AM EST

Definitely.


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You can build the most elegant fountain in the world, but eventually a winged rat will be using it as a drinking bowl.
[ Parent ]
If the bus only takes 53 minutes by ks1178 (4.00 / 1) #14 Thu Aug 30, 2007 at 06:51:02 AM EST
Why don't you follow the same route the bus takes?

Without stops to pick up passengers you should be able to get there even sooner.

It's not so much the time involved that annoys, by MohammedNiyalSayeed (2.00 / 0) #28 Fri Aug 31, 2007 at 05:38:30 AM EST

it's the constant braking and never getting above 3 miles an hour that kills me. It's less noticable on the bus, as I am generally reading or listening to music, so I'm not getting all raged up about being stuck behind people who I should be in front of.

That last statement's second half is meant both literally and metaphorically.


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You can build the most elegant fountain in the world, but eventually a winged rat will be using it as a drinking bowl.
[ Parent ]
Fighting the taxman by johnny (4.00 / 1) #15 Thu Aug 30, 2007 at 07:08:10 AM EST
Good luck; go for it.

I won't come out and say what I'm about to hint, because I don't want to jinx it, but as of yesterday, I have official documentation that the balances of my disputed taxes have been set by the IRS to zero. The total had been $23K, about.  It's a long story, but I never owed the taxes that the IRS was dunning me for, and certainly I never had enough money to pay the full balance--although I have paid about $16k that I did not owe, because I had no choice but to pay something or be crucified.

But now it would appear that they have thrown in the towel. In other words, it would appear, jinx, jinx, knock wood, rabbit rabbit, [sign of the cross], that  I have outlasted them. And the balance of my taxes owed for the two years in dispute has been set to zero, and I have that in writing from the IRS.

Ready for the punchline?

Tax years in dispute:

Nineteen. Fucking. Ninety. Two.
Nineteen. Fucking. Ninety. Three.

That's right: the IRS held a virtual gun to my head from 1992 until yesterday. And all I had to do to make them go away was fight them tooth and nail for 15 years, pay them lots of money I didn't owe, and stay really poor so I would have nothing they could take.

Good luck with the Franchise Tax Board.
... this is dreamworld after all... it isn't? Shit.

Bitch betta have Uncle Sam's money! by MohammedNiyalSayeed (2.00 / 0) #30 Fri Aug 31, 2007 at 03:59:31 PM EST

I'm very sorry to hear you had to deal with all that, man. And it scares the shit out of me, since it's pretty much the archetype of the Worst Case Scenario when dealing with a gigantic, powerful bureaucracy who are incapable of recognizing when they've fucked up. Or unwilling to recognize it. Probably incapable more than unwilling, since it's not a living entity, and therefore doesn't have human motives.


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You can build the most elegant fountain in the world, but eventually a winged rat will be using it as a drinking bowl.
[ Parent ]
Tokyo Police Club: yes by 606 (4.00 / 2) #21 Thu Aug 30, 2007 at 04:16:17 PM EST
Yeah, they're pretty damn awesome. It feels like I've been waiting forever for an LP from them. It's been at least a year since I picked up that EP from the Local Hipster Recommendations rack at the unsnooty semi-indie record store. That was the same day I picked up Holy Fuck. Have you heard Holy Fuck? Highly recommended, improvised electronic dance music with kick-ass drums and bass.

Parts & Labour: wow. It's like a perfect mix of Holy Fuck and Neutral Milk Hotel (also recommended).

This diary is great. I just bought new headphones.

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imagine dancing banana here

Happy to help! by MohammedNiyalSayeed (4.00 / 1) #29 Fri Aug 31, 2007 at 05:41:56 AM EST

And happy to be looking for Holy Fuck... Scratch that, purchased, downloading. Will sync before heading to work. I hope.


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You can build the most elegant fountain in the world, but eventually a winged rat will be using it as a drinking bowl.
[ Parent ]
I has anger. Let me show you it. | 31 comments (31 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback