Print Story 07.07.07
By Mole (Sun Jul 08, 2007 at 12:07:13 PM EST) (all tags)
A diary or maybe just a rant either way doesn't really matter.

Pressures in the head releasing in one place giving me a chance to breathe and increasing in another once again a chance to suffocate my last breath.  Vision becomes blurred, reaction time becomes delayed, where am I now, what am I on, and what’s going to happen next.  Maybe it’s just a matter of time before I find my place or maybe I have no place period and this voyage will be an endless one one which I travel without end.  Each day but a drift of time, drips of sand falling to the ground when looked back upon nothing more but a beach of sand and broken glass.  Past memories clear but wished forgotten, nothing there for me, nothing there I want to remember and nothing there I care to revisit.  I walk and stumble but yet do not fall, I keep my balance through the kindless of a strangers soul.  I’m just a kid in a grown up body, lost and confused and have run out of answers to the question that I ask myself.

Tired at times of doing what I think should be the right and having nothing to show for it.  Thinking that maybe it’s simpler to just put a bullet through my head but that’s not who I am and the easy way out has never been given to me.  A flicker of the switch as I tell myself good night a simple jester a symbolic one to remind me another day has just flown by.

< some stuff XXXIII | BBC White season: 'Rivers of Blood' >
07.07.07 | 10 comments (10 topical, 0 hidden)
A pointless aside by Merekat (4.00 / 1) #1 Mon Jul 09, 2007 at 02:04:50 AM EST
Your nick keeps putting the worst U2 lyrics ever into my head.

Sorry by Mole (2.00 / 0) #2 Mon Jul 09, 2007 at 03:52:49 AM EST
but it's a nick name which was given to me and not one which I've just created for the sole purpose of hulver.

[ Parent ]
Are you named after the rodent or the sauce? by wiredog (2.00 / 0) #3 Mon Jul 09, 2007 at 05:00:25 AM EST

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

[ Parent ]
Ewwwww by Phage (2.00 / 0) #4 Mon Jul 09, 2007 at 05:24:57 AM EST
Extract of mole...

[ Parent ]
Mexican sauce by wiredog (4.00 / 2) #5 Mon Jul 09, 2007 at 08:08:51 AM EST
Pronounced "moh-lay", sort of. A combination of chilies, tomatos, spices, and chocolate.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

[ Parent ]
Two theories exist. by Mole (4.00 / 1) #7 Tue Jul 10, 2007 at 12:25:25 AM EST
One that it came from when I was a kid and saw a mole and called out "look mole" "mole" or something along those lines.

Second is after a little known TV show which the main character had the same first name me and second Mole.

[ Parent ]
Where are you on the emotional ladder? by muchagecko (4.00 / 1) #6 Mon Jul 09, 2007 at 09:18:44 AM EST
Joy / Knowledge / Empowerment / Freedom / Love / Appreciation
Enthusiasm / Eagerness / Happiness
Positive Expectation / Belief
Frustration / Irritation / Impatience
Hatred / Rage
Insecurity / Guilt / Unworthiness
Fear / Grief / Depression / Despair / Powerlessness

Find where you are and work your way up gradually. What usually throws me off is that I want to make huge jumps, which are possible, but not easy.

So if I'm depressed, I can get into a rage - which feels better. Then from rage I can plan my revenge - better feeling. I can blame my way to worry and disappointment. Get frustrated, bored and then content. Hopeful is only a couple of steps from enthusiasm and joy.

Let me know if you've got any questions or are interested in learning more.

The only people to get even with are those that have helped you.

I like the ladder. by Mole (4.00 / 1) #8 Tue Jul 10, 2007 at 12:31:07 AM EST
Is it your making or from somewhere else?

I'd say I'm around Boredom/Pessimism but there are huge jumps of up and down.  Days that I hit rock bottom to the last two happen more than I'd like.

[ Parent ]
It's not mine, by muchagecko (2.00 / 0) #9 Tue Jul 10, 2007 at 04:12:09 AM EST
but it works.

Focus on trying to find a better feeling within a couple of rungs from where you are. Step by step you can work your way up and out of the bad feeling places. All you need is focus.

I'm working my way out of some bad feelings also.

Good luck.

The only people to get even with are those that have helped you.

[ Parent ]
Thanks by Mole (4.00 / 1) #10 Tue Jul 10, 2007 at 04:36:57 AM EST
Good luck as-well maybe a trip will do me good.

[ Parent ]
07.07.07 | 10 comments (10 topical, 0 hidden)