Print Story Cause I always say I love you when I mean turn out the light
By aethucyn (Sun Jul 01, 2007 at 06:26:11 PM EST) (all tags)
A friend that I hadn't heard from in a long time called me two weeks ago.

She's not quite a net friend, but not quite a real life friend either. Though I guess more so is that she's another friend's net friend, but she and I truly came to know each other in person. I'd met her once in 2000 when she spent a day in NYC when I was living in Brooklyn, and then again in 2003(?) at Kellnerin's wedding. She recognized me at once, and the rest of the day, and ultimately the weekend we tended to gravitate towards each other. The two of us got the dance floor started to Benny Goodman's "Sing, Sing, Sing." and I instructed her on her first gin and tonic. She was crashing at Kellnerin's place for the weekend and while I was officially staying with other friends, I ended up spending a couple of nights on the couch, the two of us talking late into the night about just about everything. At one point, things got kind of cuddly, and it seemed like all I had to do was raise her lips to mine... but I knew she had a boyfriend back home, and I knew myself to be no good for anybody at that point. So the moment passed.

So, as I said, she called me about two weeks ago. She just got married. The off-hand way she told me, suggests that there wasn't any big ceremony. I'm not sure if I'm relieved or disappointed to not get be there for it. I've always been curious to meet her boy. Whenever we've spoken on the phone in the past, if he was home, he'd seem to particularly want to be around her. It always struck me as petty, though, I suppose I can't really blame him. Somehow, I figured that the most likely chance for me to meet him would be at her wedding, since I figured he'd avoid me in any other circumstances.

So, a week passed after talking to her, and suddenly my instant message window blinked. It was an old friend. A woman I used to know from an online game. We've never met in person, but a few years back, when she was having problems with her marriage, I managed to be an extra complication. We broke things off before they really began, and there was a while where we were both pretty pissed at each other, though neither of us were entirely sure why. Eventually, we started talking again, one of those strange friendships which exists partly because I hate to admit that I'm wrong, and in this instance being right is saying, "There's some reason I was interested in you in the first place that goes beyond wanting to destroy somebody else's marriage."

So, as I was saying, she got in contact with me, and informed me that she's just moved into a new apartment. Trial separation. Given what I've seen of their past two years trying to fix their marriage, I don't expect it will be merely trial.

When I was in college, I used to talk about how the different majors weren't so much about what you were learning, but how you viewed the world. I was a history major, and it was true of me. I took a very linear progression. Understand the past to understand the present. Maybe with a tad notion that there was indeed progress. At some point since then, I've become increasingly literary in my outlook. Themes and juxtapositions. Like two past almost-loves who a week apart contact me to inform me that one is married, while the other soon probably won't be. I guess I can be happy that I held myself back on the first or disappointed that given the outcome, we never just followed through on the second. Or maybe the opposite. Maybe, they just reappeared to remind me that I'm a better person than I think I am, and much worse too.

Anyway, rest of the Magnetic Fields quote from the title.

And I say let's run away, when I just mean stay the night

< och. I hurt. Buggered if I know why. | BBC White season: 'Rivers of Blood' >
Cause I always say I love you when I mean turn out the light | 1 comment (1 topical, 0 hidden)
girl no. 1 by Kellnerin (2.00 / 0) #1 Tue Jul 03, 2007 at 02:41:19 PM EST
I still owe her an acorn cap that she left at my house.

Interesting thought about the historical vs. literary perspective. I've always approached storytelling and character from the sense that who people are evolves out of (but is not determined by) where they've been1 -- with the idea of progress being entirely debatable.

1 That is, when it doesn't come from someone unexpectedly turning off the rain, or being a cat.

"If a tree is impetuous in the woods, does it make a sound?" -- aethucyn

Cause I always say I love you when I mean turn out the light | 1 comment (1 topical, 0 hidden)