Print Story bombed the LSAT!!
By nathan (Sun Jul 01, 2007 at 09:38:34 AM EST) lsat, gzt, bombed, bomb, death, alcohol, 177 (all tags)
Oh man, I knew it was coming. I was slugging through the books, but it was coming, it was coming, and then... it came.

So I've decided to see what kind of terms I could get, selling my soul. One of the ugliest things about selling your soul is that you actually pay for the privilege, at first: law school tuition runs like 40 kilobucks a year, which is to say over 1 a week. The next indignity is that you have to take the LSAT.

I haven't taken a standardized test since 1998 or so, so I wasn't feeling good about the LSAT; I will feel so awful that I couldn't even keep my tenses straight. To make matters worse, I understand that poor performance has resulted in summary execution in the past; fortunately, I don't live with my parents, so that's out.

The professor administering the test was a total professor type; bookish, unfunny jokes, with nerd timing and that awful g**k self-satisfaction that rubs us all so very much the wrong way. I didn't take the LSAT to endure some egghead boffin's wry humour. I took it so that I could get a contract for selling my soul. (I was hoping to use promissory estoppel to get out of the payment clause, by the way.)

The test itself was dreary, and the whole time I was taking it, I felt like I was prying to parallel-park a semi in a space the size of the semi, blindfolded and with four tabs of acid in me. (If anyone gets that reference, well, he's a g**k.) It was no consolation whatever to me that at the break, gunshots were heard from all the bathrooms and prospects were seen openly smoking tobacco cigarettes. I don't know how anyone could act so frivolously literally in the middle of a seriously sphincter-loosening life experience. Picking my way between the dead and dying, I made it back to my seat just in time to get shot between the eyes with a question admitting of no possible answer.

Since I only got 177/1000 on the exam, I guess it's back to the mulch pits for me. While they drag me away kicking and screaming to my certain doom, I sincerely hope that all you smug bastards going to law school suffer unbelievable torment in perpetuity in the afterlife, because my dreams of doing the same lie in ruins. Ruins.

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bombed the LSAT!! | 14 comments (14 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
at least you seem in good spirits about it by LoppEar (4.00 / 3) #1 Sun Jul 01, 2007 at 09:54:35 AM EST
the list of soul-selling opportunities never runs out, thankfully.

don't worry by gzt (4.00 / 2) #2 Sun Jul 01, 2007 at 10:50:30 AM EST
God might still love you, even if you are worse than 99.86% of other test-takers.

if God really loved me, by nathan (4.00 / 1) #6 Sun Jul 01, 2007 at 01:50:13 PM EST
People would bite my trolls harder. And vote in my polls.

[ Parent ]
wrt the poll by lm (4.00 / 1) #3 Sun Jul 01, 2007 at 10:58:31 AM EST
Are we voting on the number of drinks you consumed before or after taking the LSAT?

There is no more degenerate kind of state than that in which the richest are supposed to be the best.
Cicero, The Republic
during counts, also diarizing by nathan (4.00 / 1) #5 Sun Jul 01, 2007 at 01:49:37 PM EST
By the way, lm, I suspect you'd write a mean LSAT.

[ Parent ]
I fear law school by lm (4.00 / 1) #7 Sun Jul 01, 2007 at 04:41:48 PM EST
From what I've heard from people who have gotten through it, it's second only to medical school for the sheer amount of work that must be done to complete one's degree.

There is no more degenerate kind of state than that in which the richest are supposed to be the best.
Cicero, The Republic
[ Parent ]
unlike medical school, by nathan (2.00 / 0) #10 Mon Jul 02, 2007 at 04:15:36 AM EST
It's over in 3 years.

[ Parent ]
One less lawyer. by vorheesleatherface (4.00 / 2) #4 Sun Jul 01, 2007 at 01:04:43 PM EST
There are lots of other things you can do. Respectful things that still make good money. Good luck.

You know what to expect now by ReallyEvilCanine (4.00 / 1) #8 Sun Jul 01, 2007 at 11:47:54 PM EST
You can take the LSAT again. Not having taken a standardised test for a decade really does make it difficult to get back into the necessary frame of mind. You've seen what it hits you with and the next time you go in you'll be considerably better prepared.

the internet: amplifier of stupidity -- discordia

next time, I hope to score as high as by nathan (2.00 / 0) #9 Mon Jul 02, 2007 at 03:17:08 AM EST

Thanks for the kind wishes.

[ Parent ]
the trouble is by aphrael (2.00 / 0) #12 Mon Jul 02, 2007 at 09:05:50 AM EST
most law schools look at the average of all LSAT scores, not just the highest one. So, while you can improve, the score will still drag you down.

That said, i'm puzzled by the reporting, and I don't think he's gotten a score: 177 would be a good LSAT score.
If television is a babysitter, the internet is a drunk librarian who won't shut up.

[ Parent ]
I refer you to my reply to Mr. K9. by nathan (2.00 / 0) #14 Mon Jul 02, 2007 at 11:42:22 AM EST
That is all.

[ Parent ]
177??? by Bob Abooey (4.00 / 2) #11 Mon Jul 02, 2007 at 05:00:00 AM EST
Ooo-wee, I'd be surprised if Hulver doesn't revoke your account here.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

How's my blogging: Call me at 209.867.5309 to complain.

it frequently surprises me too by nathan (2.00 / 0) #13 Mon Jul 02, 2007 at 11:41:41 AM EST
But if the serene and dignified Hulver decides in his wisdom to continue to endure the presence of this deformed and unsymmetrical person, it would be most arrant and insupportable presumption on my part to call his decision into question.

[ Parent ]
bombed the LSAT!! | 14 comments (14 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback