Print Story on being a bit too productive
By clock (Mon Jun 04, 2007 at 07:38:17 AM EST) (all tags)
the weekend was pretty good.  and now it's over.

we were pretty busy this weekend and we didn't really plan for that.  friday night was pretty low on activity.  motivation was low after a rather hectic week and there was plenty of fatigue to be had.  we went to the pool and stacky swam some laps while i read my book.  i don't get into the sun with my skin.  i'm too pale for that.  and now that this place is heating up for real, i'm going to hibernate until i get a temperature under 80 and that's that.

saturday was go, go, go!  and way earlier than i'd intended.  at about 6:30 am or so, stacky decided she was hungry.  i decided that i was unconscious.  i can make that claim because apparently she tried to offer me sex and i responded with "in a minute."  an excellent sign that i am out.  really out.  so i shushed her a bit and she got up to make breakfast.  the next thing i know, i'm eating and it's 7 o'clock or some shit on a saturday morning.  wtf? 

she needed to be at the salon by 9 and i figured i'd do the grocery shopping while she had fun with her hair.  so i did.  fairly painless.  and then i got to wander around $bookCorp and notice that there's nothing i want to read there and they don't carry lapdesks and i can't get a good cup of coffee in that zone.  whatever.  so hairs were cut.  i talked to my brother on the phone for a few minutes.  bad coffee was consumed and no books were purchased.

after that we had some time to kill.  our big plan for the day was to have dinner "out on the town" and then go to our "how to keep your baby alive" class.  yes.  infant cpr.  now that was some fun stuff.  two hours with the same 5 minutes of video pounding the routine into my skull so that it will hopefully come out as a reflex.  i feel pretty good about it.  it's knowledge that's great to have and even better to never use.  the good news was that stacky wasn't the biggest woman in the class.  the bad news was that the others were all due tomorrow.  lots of "older" parents in there with their first unit on the way and a very enthusiastic instructor.  best example?  when she was demonstrating how to help a choking infant she took her hand back and said "now you want to hit 'em hard...but not mississippi hard!"  very hard to contain myself there.

and when we were done with that, we hit a different $corpBook and i finally got a lapdesk (to keep my legs from catching fire in bed under my laptop) stacky got some pseudo flip-flops to contain her swollen feet at the mall so it was a consumer win-win.  and completely off-topic, when did it become cool for teenagers who don't have girlfriends to go be obnoxious in the magazine section of b&n?  seriously, dudes...spend a little more time sharpening those social skills and a little less time IN MY FUCKING WAY.

sunday was way more work than it should have been.  i had to bake bread twice (fucking bread machine hates me).  we cleared out some stuff in the baby's room.  i put some things in the attic.  and then we had a moment of panic.

we let the dog out while we were eating lunch.  it seemed to be the thing to do, so whatever.  after a while, we didn't see her making her rounds.  i stepped out to look for her and saw that the gate to our backyard was open.  we never leave the gate open because the only time we ever open it is to mow the lawn which we did MUCH earlier in the week.  i freaked out and went running.  the puppy had only wandered as far as the sideyard and she came running the second that she saw me.  i applied some scolding to reinforce the idea that leaving the backyard is bad and then installed the gatelatch that CANNOT be opened from the front.

my best guess is that the fucking kids next door knocked their fucking soccer ball over the fucking fence for the billionth time and they came into our yard without permission AGAIN and left the gate open.  there are so many things wrong with that.  i can see that i will be having a discussion with the neighbors soon.  here's a tip kids:  don't just wander into the yard of a rottweiler without permission.  you never know what you might get.  and NEVER wander into MY yard without permission (after you've been told 100 times not to do it) because i KNOW what you'll get.

in other dog news, the witnesses came to the door.  i answered it and was quite polite.  of course, i checked the peephole first and knew what i was getting into so instead of telling the puppy to be good and sit, i grabbed her by the collar and let her lunge for licks and pats.  no speech.  just "my that's a big dog!" and a flyer.  bad press has some advantages, i guess.

my wife is tired.  we're in the final stretch, sorta.  my mom is coming to visit for a week and change (that's good!).  things are moving along.  but dammit if i don't need a nap and to slow my head down a bit.

< A bike shift catches Mrs. Ha unaware | BBC White season: 'Rivers of Blood' >
on being a bit too productive | 21 comments (21 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
A link for Stacky by wiredog (2.00 / 0) #1 Mon Jun 04, 2007 at 07:51:13 AM EST
Mother put on 7 stone with one baby.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

ew by StackyMcRacky (2.00 / 0) #3 Mon Jun 04, 2007 at 08:12:18 AM EST
what, are you being my mother now?

[ Parent ]
Actually, I was hoping your reaction by wiredog (2.00 / 0) #5 Mon Jun 04, 2007 at 08:46:40 AM EST
would be more along the lines of "Thank TISG I'm not in that condition! Things could always be worse!" Etc.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

[ Parent ]
well yeah, they could by StackyMcRacky (2.00 / 0) #7 Mon Jun 04, 2007 at 09:55:14 AM EST
but i still have a bunch of issues to get through on a daily basis, so i'm just focusing on them.  sure, i don't have a cyst, but every time i have to walk i want to cry.

[ Parent ]
Don't worry, it'll all be done soon. by wiredog (2.00 / 0) #8 Mon Jun 04, 2007 at 10:09:12 AM EST
Then the pregnancy will be finished, and you'll be taking home a lovely little baby from the hospital...

Who will shriek like an air raid siren every two hours because he wants food, clean diapers, and miscellaneous hugging.

But, on the bright side, you won't be in the position of your (soon to be) former boss, who still hasn't lined up a replacement sysadmin for you.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

[ Parent ]
i fear not the baby by StackyMcRacky (2.00 / 0) #11 Mon Jun 04, 2007 at 10:51:52 AM EST
no matter how much he screams.

i fear of never feeling good ever again.  i fear this level of pain will never go away.  :(

[ Parent ]
and..... by StackyMcRacky (4.00 / 1) #17 Mon Jun 04, 2007 at 03:05:57 PM EST
on the job front...

I didn't log into work on Saturday.  Every backup failed that night.

My boss asked why, and I told him that I was in baby classes all day, got home late and was too tired to log in so stuff failed.  I hope it was something of a wake-up call to him, but who knows.

[ Parent ]
ya know by Merekat (2.00 / 0) #19 Tue Jun 05, 2007 at 12:27:02 AM EST
I'm actually starting to feel sorry for your boss. He seems so hopelessly out of his depth.

[ Parent ]
i wonder by StackyMcRacky (2.00 / 0) #20 Tue Jun 05, 2007 at 04:16:28 AM EST
if it isn't my director calling the idiot shots, because my boss is a really sharp guy.

[ Parent ]
comments by StackyMcRacky (4.00 / 2) #2 Mon Jun 04, 2007 at 08:09:45 AM EST
kids next door:  in the past, they have broken my patio table and stolen some of my yard art.  not to mention they have kicked out several fence boards.  this is not acceptable.

we will be having a chat with the parents, because latching the gate won't help - they'll just throw the youngest one over the fence like they did before.

class instructor: she was showing how to hit the infant's back from close up when she said "you don't need to hit him from Mississippi" and threw her arm all the way back.

Best Missionary Response EVAR!!!!!!!! by notafurry (4.00 / 8) #4 Mon Jun 04, 2007 at 08:17:46 AM EST
Happened this weekend. As a known hotbed of Satanic activity (i.e. the front garden has a Witch's Ball, there's a statue of Pan on the front porch, and a pentacle wreath by the front door) we get lots and lots - and lots - of missionaries. Mormon, Baptist, 7th Day Adventist, Witnesses, if they do door-to-door proselytizing, they come to our door. We're so lost and misguided.

This weekend was very, very warm - for the PNW - and the baby was hot and cranky. So the wife and I didn't have much sleep or time alone. Well, baby went down for a nap, house is open to let air through... it's "quiet time". Just getting started when I need to go grab something out of the living room in case the baby wakes up. No big deal. I glance out the window as I head into the living room and see black pants, starched shirt, and tie heading up the walk...

So I met him at the door. Naked and, um, ready to head back to the bedroom. Bright and cheerful "Hi! Guess what, we're not interested. Are you?"

Guy turned three shades each of red and purple. I seriously started to be concerned for his health. Got out fast, and for once he didn't try to leave any literature. Too bad, too, I'm low on tinder for lighting the fire pit in the backyard.

When I was growing up by wiredog (4.00 / 1) #6 Mon Jun 04, 2007 at 09:02:33 AM EST
I lived across the street from this guy, a retired General and WW2 veteran. One day the missionaries came by while he was cleaning his gun collection. He informed them, while pointing a rifle at them, that he wasn't interested.

It was years before they came back to our street.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

[ Parent ]
When I worked in TV... by Vulch (2.00 / 0) #10 Mon Jun 04, 2007 at 10:47:09 AM EST

For a while we'd run two feature films after the News at Ten on a friday night. Meant I would leave work after 2:30 am, get home at 3 and be in bed by 3:30 after winding down a bit. One saturday morning there was extended knocking and doorbell ringing at 9am, as my next door neighbours daughter had been seriously hurt in an accident overseas a couple of weeks earlier while her parents were also on holiday I decided I ought to get out and answer it in case it was the police needing to get in touch again.

It wasn't.

It was an elderly couple, Watchtowers in hand. I said something along the lines of "This is a bungalow, it's 9am saturday morning, all curtains at the front are closed, why did you keep knocking and ringing?" except I took much longer and used a lot more words and a somewhat elevated volume.

A year later the same couple turned up again, recognised me when I opened the door, their faces fell, they apologised hastily and I was never bothered by them or anyone similar again.

I'm not tolerant of missionaries at the best of times, but especially not when they go out of their way to wake me up.

[ Parent ]
Did you thank your local Veteran properly? by notafurry (2.00 / 0) #15 Mon Jun 04, 2007 at 12:05:55 PM EST
I'd think that sort of service would be worth at least a few batches of home-baked cookies and pies.

[ Parent ]
AWESOME!!! by clock (2.00 / 0) #9 Mon Jun 04, 2007 at 10:36:26 AM EST
that rocks...though having the dog is much more convenient.  from my point of view.

but yeah...damn that's good...

I agree with clock entirely --Kellnerin

[ Parent ]
Oh, I'd never have been able to pull it off by notafurry (2.00 / 0) #14 Mon Jun 04, 2007 at 12:05:03 PM EST
If it hadn't been 90% percent accidental. But it totally rocked that it happened the way it did.

[ Parent ]
Convert? by thunderbee (2.00 / 0) #12 Mon Jun 04, 2007 at 11:53:53 AM EST
Long time ago, we used to have witnesses twice a year.
At that time I was quite acquainted with Apocalypse.
This guy turns up with the watchtower and starts the usual litany, full of selected quotes.
The weather was nice, I had nothing better to do, so I tried to convince him that the signs were clear that his camp was going to loose, and that it was still time to convert to satanism, using generous quotes for Apocalypse.
Talked for some two and a half hours there before he called it a day (yes, he ended it and left).

They never came back, ever.

I like to think that the guy actually converted to satanism and that they feared sending someone else lest he be converted too ;-)

[ Parent ]
Witches don't proselytize by notafurry (2.00 / 0) #13 Mon Jun 04, 2007 at 12:03:48 PM EST
It's a pretty basic rule. You can't allow people to follow the paths of their lives if you're selling them on yours, after all. <grin>

(And, of course, we're only a hotbed of satanic activity to those who believe in Satan. In our religion, he doesn't exist any more than his adversary does... and if he did, he'd be no more or less than any other deity.)

[ Parent ]
I'm actually a zen agnostic by thunderbee (2.00 / 0) #18 Mon Jun 04, 2007 at 10:37:21 PM EST
But the trolling was so worth it :)

[ Parent ]
True by notafurry (2.00 / 0) #21 Tue Jun 05, 2007 at 06:47:37 AM EST
The best Commandment of any religion comes from The Great God Om (Terry Pratchett, Small Gods):

Thou Shalt Not Subject Thy God to Market Forces!

Pity the fucking missionaries haven't heard that one. We'd get more sleep on weekends.

[ Parent ]
Cool! by ammoniacal (2.00 / 0) #16 Mon Jun 04, 2007 at 01:39:06 PM EST
I could find your house in less than 45 minutes.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

[ Parent ]
on being a bit too productive | 21 comments (21 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback