saturday was go, go, go! and way earlier than i'd intended. at about 6:30 am or so, stacky decided she was hungry. i decided that i was unconscious. i can make that claim because apparently she tried to offer me sex and i responded with "in a minute." an excellent sign that i am out. really out. so i shushed her a bit and she got up to make breakfast. the next thing i know, i'm eating and it's 7 o'clock or some shit on a saturday morning. wtf?
she needed to be at the salon by 9 and i figured i'd do the grocery shopping while she had fun with her hair. so i did. fairly painless. and then i got to wander around $bookCorp and notice that there's nothing i want to read there and they don't carry lapdesks and i can't get a good cup of coffee in that zone. whatever. so hairs were cut. i talked to my brother on the phone for a few minutes. bad coffee was consumed and no books were purchased.
after that we had some time to kill. our big plan for the day was to have dinner "out on the town" and then go to our "how to keep your baby alive" class. yes. infant cpr. now that was some fun stuff. two hours with the same 5 minutes of video pounding the routine into my skull so that it will hopefully come out as a reflex. i feel pretty good about it. it's knowledge that's great to have and even better to never use. the good news was that stacky wasn't the biggest woman in the class. the bad news was that the others were all due tomorrow. lots of "older" parents in there with their first unit on the way and a very enthusiastic instructor. best example? when she was demonstrating how to help a choking infant she took her hand back and said "now you want to hit 'em hard...but not mississippi hard!" very hard to contain myself there.
and when we were done with that, we hit a different $corpBook and i finally got a lapdesk (to keep my legs from catching fire in bed under my laptop) stacky got some pseudo flip-flops to contain her swollen feet at the mall so it was a consumer win-win. and completely off-topic, when did it become cool for teenagers who don't have girlfriends to go be obnoxious in the magazine section of b&n? seriously, dudes...spend a little more time sharpening those social skills and a little less time IN MY FUCKING WAY.
sunday was way more work than it should have been. i had to bake bread twice (fucking bread machine hates me). we cleared out some stuff in the baby's room. i put some things in the attic. and then we had a moment of panic.
we let the dog out while we were eating lunch. it seemed to be the thing to do, so whatever. after a while, we didn't see her making her rounds. i stepped out to look for her and saw that the gate to our backyard was open. we never leave the gate open because the only time we ever open it is to mow the lawn which we did MUCH earlier in the week. i freaked out and went running. the puppy had only wandered as far as the sideyard and she came running the second that she saw me. i applied some scolding to reinforce the idea that leaving the backyard is bad and then installed the gatelatch that CANNOT be opened from the front.
my best guess is that the fucking kids next door knocked their fucking soccer ball over the fucking fence for the billionth time and they came into our yard without permission AGAIN and left the gate open. there are so many things wrong with that. i can see that i will be having a discussion with the neighbors soon. here's a tip kids: don't just wander into the yard of a rottweiler without permission. you never know what you might get. and NEVER wander into MY yard without permission (after you've been told 100 times not to do it) because i KNOW what you'll get.
in other dog news, the witnesses came to the door. i answered it and was quite polite. of course, i checked the peephole first and knew what i was getting into so instead of telling the puppy to be good and sit, i grabbed her by the collar and let her lunge for licks and pats. no speech. just "my that's a big dog!" and a flyer. bad press has some advantages, i guess.
my wife is tired. we're in the final stretch, sorta. my mom is coming to visit for a week and change (that's good!). things are moving along. but dammit if i don't need a nap and to slow my head down a bit.
|< A bike shift catches Mrs. Ha unaware | BBC White season: 'Rivers of Blood' >|