Print Story Some girls give me jewelry that I never thought I'd own
Wizards and Hobbits
By Bob Abooey (Tue May 22, 2007 at 05:01:23 AM EST) Reduxing. (all tags)
The B.A.D.TM

Providing hope for the masses since 1976...



Urbi et Orbi

Heavens to murgatroid, have yuns noticed who is in FIRST PLACE right now? I'll give you a clue, it's not the smelly feckless Detroit Le Tigre loooooooooosers, nor is it the heinous Chicago White Smelly Sox, or the Minnesota Girlie Men Twins, nor the Kansas City Last Place Lamo Royales! BWUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Woooo!!!!! That's right - it's The TRIBE!! Fear The Tribe baby!!

Speaking of first place, the SABP seems to have got back together (they broke up for a while due to some legal problems and whatnot) and put out a little moody type instrumental. Frankly I don't know why those cats never made it big. As always the SABP sounds best if you listen to it when completely stoned out of your feeble little brain.

Speaking of big - I've been working out a list of all the crap I'm going to need to buy what with this whole house buying deal on the horizon. Stuff like a lawn mower, a garden hose, a snow shovel, a washer and dryer, a statue of a black man holding a lantern for the front lawn, a ladder, etc etc. Crikey - I may have to start selling my plasma on a weekly basis to pay for all that stuff.

Speaking of stuff - the apartment flunky "leasing agent" looked at me like I was an alien when I asked for a rider to let me out of my lease early should I buy a home. She basically acted like she's never heard of such silliness. I said something like all real apartment complexes that hope to attract quality tenants do that sort of thing, to which she mumbled and hemmed and hawed then told me she could offer me a 9 month lease but I'd have to pay an extra 35 clams per month to get it. Bah, I'm not paying them 300+ clams to get out of my lease early and really the 3 months wasn't the issue, I was looking for flexibility, that's the key in my mind.

Speaking of which - how much time do I need to allocate for the deal to go down? Should I make an offer on something a couple months before my lease is up? Truth be told I'd like some overlap time, a couple weeks at least, when I have keys to both places so I can move and clean up and paint and put in new carpet etc etc without being totally crazed.

Right - off to do some "work."

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Some girls give me jewelry that I never thought I'd own | 42 comments (42 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
A++++ would download again by blixco (2.00 / 0) #1 Tue May 22, 2007 at 05:15:52 AM EST
if I hadn't already.

Also, check out clock's recent diary with link to 30 megs worth of collaborative space.
---------------------------------
"You bring the weasel, I'll bring the whiskey." - kellnerin

Thank you kind sir by Bob Abooey (4.00 / 1) #2 Tue May 22, 2007 at 05:29:10 AM EST
I'll be downloading and listening to your collaborative efforts shortly!

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

How's my blogging: Call me at 209.867.5309 to complain.

[ Parent ]
It's too early for baseball by georgeha (2.00 / 0) #3 Tue May 22, 2007 at 05:29:53 AM EST
it's more fun in the fall when Congress reconvenes and we can start talking about steroids, cheating, drugs and monopolistic behavior.

When your mortgage is only $100 or $50 a month, you have a lot of leeway. For a more normal mortgage, it took us about 2-3 months from putting an offer in to  closing. I'd start looking 5 months before your lease is up.


5 months? by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #5 Tue May 22, 2007 at 05:39:26 AM EST
Actually I plan on looking pretty much starting from now, book-marking interesting homes and looking to see what sells quickly and for what price and what doesn't sell, checking out various neighbourhoods and burbs etc etc. Hopefully I'll have a good idea what I'm looking for and what's available so when I get a Realtor involved I can move quickly. You think getting a Realtor at the 5 month out period gives me enough time?

Regarding the mortgage - it won't be a whole lot (I plan on borrowing maybe 60 or 70 g's) - you're saying the size of the loan affects the time it takes to close the loan?

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

How's my blogging: Call me at 209.867.5309 to complain.

[ Parent ]
Maybe 3 months form when you find the home by georgeha (2.00 / 0) #8 Tue May 22, 2007 at 05:46:16 AM EST
you want, but it might take you 2-3 months to find that home. The first house you go to and leave your real name is when you get hooked into the Realtor thing. You can look for a buyer's agent, who splits the commission with the seller's Realtor and is theoretically on your side, though they really just want you to buy and get their money quick.

I was saying if you're only paying $100 a month, who cares if you pay rent and mortgage for a month.

A $70 k mortgage will probably cost around $800 a month, after taxes.


[ Parent ]
Err, including taxes by georgeha (2.00 / 0) #10 Tue May 22, 2007 at 05:49:49 AM EST
or after taxes and insurance are added to your loan.


[ Parent ]
Ah - I see by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #11 Tue May 22, 2007 at 05:54:52 AM EST
Actually I'm looking at less than 800 clams - depending on the burb. Course that doesn't factor in house insurance, I have no idea what that goes for.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

How's my blogging: Call me at 209.867.5309 to complain.

[ Parent ]
What insurance? by ad hoc (2.00 / 0) #25 Tue May 22, 2007 at 06:55:02 AM EST
You don't have to have mortgage insurance if you put at least 20% down.

If you mean homeowner insurance, that depends on where you live. I Cleveberg, it shouldn't be too much since your not in a hurricane or tornado zone. (At least not as much of a tornado zone as southern OH).
--

[ Parent ]
Yes - homeowner insurance by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #27 Tue May 22, 2007 at 07:08:37 AM EST
I'm gonna put a decent chunk of dough down so mortgage insurance won't be needed.

I know nothing about what I need in the home insurance dept. Being that I live in a loser state you think I can come in at less than a grand a year?

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

How's my blogging: Call me at 209.867.5309 to complain.

[ Parent ]
It often gets rolled into the mortgage by georgeha (2.00 / 0) #28 Tue May 22, 2007 at 07:12:14 AM EST
at least it has for our two. A grand sounds about right.


[ Parent ]
i do my own escrows by StackyMcRacky (2.00 / 0) #32 Tue May 22, 2007 at 07:40:30 AM EST
the mortgage company wasn't going to pay my taxes on time, and yet charge me the late fees.

it's nice - i make about $100+ interest every year on the money.

[ Parent ]
Update by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #34 Tue May 22, 2007 at 07:47:34 AM EST
I just asked McMurphie's accountant and she said she pays just over $400 per year for homeowners insurance and $3600 for taxes.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

How's my blogging: Call me at 209.867.5309 to complain.

[ Parent ]
Taxes will vary widely depending on where by georgeha (2.00 / 0) #35 Tue May 22, 2007 at 07:49:47 AM EST
you buy, step across and city/town line and your taxes can changes by the $1000s.


[ Parent ]
I don't know by ad hoc (2.00 / 0) #30 Tue May 22, 2007 at 07:12:46 AM EST
I have a condo. Mine is about $700 (plus whatever amount of the condo fee goes to the master insurance).

My brother lives in hurricane alley (FL panhandle). His neighbor's just went up to $6000 per year. My parents (FL space coast) went up so much they're considering dropping it all together and risking it. It might be less expensive to build a new house than pay for insurance.

But where are the only risky thing is snow load and maybe some flooding. And public riots, of course.
--

[ Parent ]
mine is $950/year by StackyMcRacky (2.00 / 0) #33 Tue May 22, 2007 at 07:42:08 AM EST
for just the homeowner's, and $200/year for flood (i don't live in a flood zone, but with all the construction, who knows what will be a flood zone next year).

[ Parent ]
$380 from State Farm by houser2112 (2.00 / 0) #42 Wed May 23, 2007 at 03:09:46 AM EST
on a $83k 1100 sqft ranch in the Rochester, NY 'burbs; taxes around $3000.

[ Parent ]
Don't do it! by barooo (2.00 / 0) #4 Tue May 22, 2007 at 05:39:08 AM EST

It's a trap.  Home ownership is a scam.

Just bought a dishwasher last night, mine started leaking.  Dripped through into the basement, all over the washer & dryer.  I've had enough water issues this month I'm starting to worry about mold.


man, i need a beefy taco now.
-gzt
Aye by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #7 Tue May 22, 2007 at 05:42:26 AM EST
I'm decided on this issue. Let the adventure begin!

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

How's my blogging: Call me at 209.867.5309 to complain.

[ Parent ]
Blimey by TPD (4.00 / 1) #6 Tue May 22, 2007 at 05:39:51 AM EST
it appears it is national TPD is blown away by fellow husi-ites awesome MP3s day here on Husi.

Not sure what chord you play at 1:14 (if there's one thing learning (or at least try to learn the guitar) has taught me it's that I have no ear), but it's so out of the blue yet fits brilliantly.

why sit, when you can sit and swivel with The Ab-SwivellerTM

Thank you kind sir by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #9 Tue May 22, 2007 at 05:49:25 AM EST
I'm not sure but I think it's a sus chord. It uses the same notes I used in the melody, originally I was doing it as an arpeggio but thought it sounded kinda spooky-like when played as a chord.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

How's my blogging: Call me at 209.867.5309 to complain.

[ Parent ]
House buying by sasquatchan (4.00 / 2) #12 Tue May 22, 2007 at 06:04:02 AM EST
Half of it depends on when the folks selling will move out. If they are already out of the house, and it's vacant 'ready to move in', I'd still think it'll take at least a month from your initial offer. I'm sure I'll forget lots of steps, but figure: As much as I HATE the "for dummies" book, the home buying for dummies was a very useful book. I'd send you our copy, but we've lent it out to so many friends that bought places, I don't know where it is right now.

Depending on what the house comes with (ie what major appliances they leave) you can spend over $8k getting the necessary stuff -- fridge, washer/dryer, chest freezer, paint and a bazillion little things like paint trays, rollers, brushes, and tons of little crap that will have you going to home depot/Lowes EVERY FRIGGIN DAY for 3 weeks. Glad those days are long past..

And you don't want just any statue of a black man, you want a black JOCKEY, holding the lantern. That's the right one, and hope your neighbors don't lynch you for it ..

Anyway, Bob, you should venture down to Tex-ass to jam with those other mopes.

Good stuff by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #14 Tue May 22, 2007 at 06:13:24 AM EST
Aye - I actually read the dummies book last year when I was first giving serious contemplation to the whole house thing, although I was thinking about condos back then, the the same rules apply. I'll have to chek it out of the library and look through it again.

I plan on allocating about 10 g's for furnishings - but hope to be able to score some deals (buying used stuff when it makes sense - like a lawn mower and lawn jockey etc) and come in at less than that.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

How's my blogging: Call me at 209.867.5309 to complain.

[ Parent ]
Oh yeah by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #16 Tue May 22, 2007 at 06:21:13 AM EST
Methinks those other mopes are real musicians - I don't know that I could keep up with them, unless they agree to play everything in either A or E.

Indeed, I can play in any key as long as it's A or E.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

How's my blogging: Call me at 209.867.5309 to complain.

[ Parent ]
And how bout them Cavs by ks1178 (4.00 / 1) #13 Tue May 22, 2007 at 06:10:59 AM EST
They have at least 3 or 4 more games this season before they go on summer vacation!

Oh and enjoy being up by 1/2 a game, I'm sure it's not going to last too long. Come Friday when they play a series against Detroit they're going right back down.

Heh.. by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #15 Tue May 22, 2007 at 06:17:34 AM EST
I knew that was coming. Actually the Cavs played better than I thought they would last night. I fully expect them to steal a couple wins but they don't have enough offense to get the job done.

The Le Tigres series should be a real good time, I'm looking forward to it. We've got Boston coming up soon too - that will be the acid test.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

How's my blogging: Call me at 209.867.5309 to complain.

[ Parent ]
Well if history repeats itself by ks1178 (2.00 / 0) #20 Tue May 22, 2007 at 06:37:28 AM EST
With all the comparison's of LeBron to Jordan, or more how he's not living up to the hype, they fail to point out that it also took Jordan till his 4th year to win a to get to the conference finals, which the Bulls lost to Detroit.

They continued to lose the next few years to Detroit, but after Detroit toughened them up (and they put some key pieces around Jordan, look what happened...

But yeah, I was surprised by how close the game was, and was actually worried when that 3 was left completely open at the end.

My fear with the Pistons is that they'll get even more sloppy (like the first half, and games 3,4,and 5 against the Bulls) and give the series up to Cleavland.

So Hopefully the Cavs will bring it at them, and play hard, forcing the Pistons to actually play and blow the Cavs out.

[ Parent ]
The Cavs play some mean D by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #22 Tue May 22, 2007 at 06:44:11 AM EST
They'll stay in most games these days on their D alone - they also rebound very well. The problem they have is they can't hit a jump shot to save their life - hence you see lots of 85 - 81 scores and whatnot.

I think the Jordan v Lebron thing is all overblown media hype. They're two different type players. That said - you're correct, the Bulls didn't become the bulls until Pippen and Grant and Cartwright all joined the picture and worked out the famous triangle offense.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

How's my blogging: Call me at 209.867.5309 to complain.

[ Parent ]
Just let your current lease expire by ammoniacal (4.00 / 1) #17 Tue May 22, 2007 at 06:21:35 AM EST
then live in a van, down by the river, until your new place is ready.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

But Bob doesn't have a van by georgeha (4.00 / 2) #18 Tue May 22, 2007 at 06:26:56 AM EST
he'll have to tape newspaper over the windows of his Escort to get some sleep.


[ Parent ]
Danm fine idea by Bob Abooey (4.00 / 2) #26 Tue May 22, 2007 at 07:03:20 AM EST
Or I could live for free in one of the local crack houses. I imagine nobody will bother me if I show up with a burned out urine soaked mattress and mind my own business.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

How's my blogging: Call me at 209.867.5309 to complain.

[ Parent ]
to help things move a bit faster by StackyMcRacky (2.00 / 0) #19 Tue May 22, 2007 at 06:31:43 AM EST
on the home purchase front, you should get pre-qualified for a mortgage before you start looking.

also, having a house inspector already picked out helps quite a bit as well.

closing depends on a billion different things.

Your leasing agent is full of doo-doo by ad hoc (2.00 / 0) #21 Tue May 22, 2007 at 06:42:26 AM EST
It's very common in the real world.

In re: the other. There is no rule about "how long" it takes. It's rarely less than 30 days, though. You have to factor inept title search companies, mortgage agents who are constantly missing a piece of paper you gave them months ago, &c &c &c.

Ask webwench out inspections. You can find the "perfect" house and the inspection turns up a problem. It might take a couple of months for them to fix it or you might back out of the deal, then you have to fight to get your money back.

The sellers might have a clause that they have to close on the new house they're buying at the same time. Then that deal could mess up your deal.

The title search company could find a problem.

Then only thing you can count on is that it won't go smoothly.
--

Ugh by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #23 Tue May 22, 2007 at 06:49:42 AM EST
Yeah - I forgot about WebWench buying the termite infested house.

So it looks like I'd better start early and plan to go month to month on my apt lease for a few months if need be. Boy - this sounds like it should be quite the interesting experience - all just to get my own friggin garage.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

How's my blogging: Call me at 209.867.5309 to complain.

[ Parent ]
Home ownership is a major committment by georgeha (2.00 / 0) #24 Tue May 22, 2007 at 06:53:53 AM EST
and you'll probably need to become intimate with a plunger and other stuff to avoid paying an arm and a leg to the local handyman/plumber.


[ Parent ]
HA! by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #29 Tue May 22, 2007 at 07:12:29 AM EST
I've got a buddy who used to be a plumber and another buddy who knows a professional handyman so I'm all set there.

Plus with the new immigrant law I can hire an illegal immigrant to do the menial crap for me.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

How's my blogging: Call me at 209.867.5309 to complain.

[ Parent ]
Can you get lawn jockeys in Clevesburg? by wiredog (2.00 / 0) #31 Tue May 22, 2007 at 07:24:14 AM EST
They're all over here in Ole Virginny, but this is The South.

You don't have to buy all the stuff at once. Buy it as you need it. I doubt you'll need a lawn mower and snow thrower on the weekend. Or even in the same month.

Look at the list of "attached chattel", or whatever they call it, to see what comes with the house. Washer/dryer often do.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

Right by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #36 Tue May 22, 2007 at 07:51:19 AM EST
I'm thinking I'd like to have new modern attractive energy-efficient appliances so even if it comes with lots of stuff I may end up selling them and buying  new crap. At least that's the plan.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

How's my blogging: Call me at 209.867.5309 to complain.

[ Parent ]
Sure you can. by ad hoc (2.00 / 0) #37 Tue May 22, 2007 at 08:08:30 AM EST
Ohio is, after all, home of the Grand Dragon.

Then again,many people are now opting for chrome balls.
--

[ Parent ]
neuticles come in chrome now? by georgeha (4.00 / 3) #38 Tue May 22, 2007 at 08:18:42 AM EST
I know what lucky is getting for his birthday!



[ Parent ]
Why be under a lease? by ShadowNode (2.00 / 0) #39 Tue May 22, 2007 at 02:57:17 PM EST
At least where I am, once a lease expires it's automatically converted to a month by month deal. I don't really see why you'd want to commit beyond that.

Right by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #40 Wed May 23, 2007 at 12:00:29 AM EST
They charge you an extra $200 to go month to month.

That's fine if it's only for a few months but it's a waste of money for anything beyond that.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

How's my blogging: Call me at 209.867.5309 to complain.

[ Parent ]
Ah by ShadowNode (2.00 / 0) #41 Wed May 23, 2007 at 12:39:02 AM EST
They can't do that here.

[ Parent ]
Some girls give me jewelry that I never thought I'd own | 42 comments (42 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback