How Multicam Was Invented
Thank God the killing at Virginia Tech is done; now the weblog punditocracy can get back to the important business of bickering with each other about whose politics caused the whole thing. You know, you see something awful happen, and then the people dealing with the tragedy are being noble, and you start to say, "well, I guess humanity's better aspects come out under great trauma", then you look at the Internet, and all the metaphoric knobgobblers (used in the Sixth Gradian sense of the term) are blathering on, despite the fact that no one asked them what their opinion was. OMFG, DUDES WHO STALK WOMEN LATER KILL PEOPLE! OMFG, GUNS KILL PEOPLE! OMFG, PEOPLE KILL PEOPLE!
Blogs: A net loss for humanity.
Takes On Shades of the Surrounding Environment
Seriously, people, who let Bruce Schneier out of his cage, anyway? I remember the days where Schneier used to discuss cryptography and computer security all the time. These days, when he's not poopooing every physical/national security idea with less than 100% guaranteed success, he's proferring even dumber ideas, like the idea that we should all be really nice to security threats, because kindness kills! First off, when the fuck did Bruce Schneier go and learn about physical and national security? I keep looking at his resume, and all I see is nerd shit. I see nothing indicating any credentials on physical security, other than his predictable BUSHITLAR reactions every time something about DHS makes the news.
Schneier: go back to talking about what you know. Let the grown-ups take care of the other stuff. They have, you know, training in that stuff, lamer.
Disguises Volume and ShapePoops for the last week have been pretty soft, if not outright liquidy. Chalk it up to stress, I suppose. Today, however, thanks to the miracle of Lasagna For Dinner Last Night, my poops were hard like little rocks, and left no trail of fecal doom whatsoever. VIRTUAL NO-WIPER, Y'ALL!
Balanced Scale and Contrast
Could someone please cancel water service at the old apartment, and call Rentacenter to get them to pick up my beds and washer and dryer now that I no longer need them? Well, I mean, I need the bed for two more days. But not really. Anyway, I'm just really busy, and it seems like everything is closed in the evening when I'm finally clear to do stuff.
Battles Battlefield Intel Debriefing
I've talked about Battles before. Through the proverbial "small world" phenomenon, I am familiar with Stanier and Williams of the band "Battles". For one, we know people in common from Chicago. The band also shares their practice space with another friend of mine from New York, Mr. Randy Costanza, of the Victoria Lucas.
Anyway, this week, I started seeing hints that Battles first full length album, "Mirrored" is finally almost ready to come out. They've released a single, called "Atlas", which is available from the iTunes Music Store currently. It also has a video, viewable on Youtube. The comments on that thread are, at times, highly amusing. Seems you either love Battles, you just don't get Battles, or you're too busy posturing yourself as a cynical post-rock knowitall to accept the Fact that Battles is the Most Rockinest Modern Band of Our Age.
What is it about music that makes people think their uninformed opinions are just as valid as anyone else's? I'll never understand that. You rarely hear dipshit gas station clerks spouting off about design flaws in Jarvik's artificial heart, or about the need to rewrite network syslog server software from the ground up. You know why that is? It's because they don't understand those things, and they know other people do. Somehow, though, every dipshit on Earth thinks they're entitled to an opinion about what is, and is not, "good music".
I don't see the need to use so many instruments :( the rythm is hypnotic but nothing else... it says nothing, they're just a band of common guys trying to sound COOL but even they doesn't know what the he.. are doing.Yeah, they "don't even know what the hell they're doing". Well, someone doesn't know what the hell Battles is doing, but it isn't Battles, douchebag. It's you. In fact, you're only marginally less retarded than this douchebag:
The minimalist accumulation of non developmental motivic cells ( which are largely rhythmic in this track), just isn't that interesting. This just sounds a bit lost methinks, perhaps falling awkwardly between pop and math rock. What a shame, they were my fav band of recent years.
You know what's not that interesting? Dudes who use phrases like "non developmental motivic cells". I only know two types of those dudes: music teachers (those who cannot do, teach, and then make up terms to describe the activities of those who can do), and dudes on the Intarwebs looking to appear smarter than they are. Listen to "Atlas". If you don't hear development of "motivic cells", you are fucking deaf or retarded. Or both.
But fuck all that noise; no number of shitbrained critics commenting on the untouchable Battles, and how they look like "a bunch of gay college boys", will ever do a better job of persuading you that they rock than the music, itself, will. Prepare yourself!
Battles Rocks, Bullshit Walks.
- Atlas video
- Hi/Lo, live
- Hi/Lo, live in Dublin
- Dance, live
- tras, live
- live at the Roxy
- live at the Empty Bottle
- Hour long version of entire Empty Bottle show
- Documentary type thing
I think that pretty much makes my case. And now, a short, shameful, but awesome, confession: I've basically listened to "Atlas" non-stop for the last four days. It's the only song on my iPod shuffle.
Yeah, my iPod shuffle is named after that adorable German baby polar bear. What the fuck else would I name such a device of that level of cute-itude?
OK, time to go get the electric car and cruise around the Dairy Queen parking lot, y'all. See you there. I'll be the dude touching his own junk in public.
Update [2007-4-18 21:14:47 by MohammedNiyalSayeed]:: I figured I should add this link for our European Overlords, should they care to venture out to see the MOST ROCKINEST MODERN BAND OF ALL TIME. Hell, fuck it, I'll just copy and paste the schedule, too...
- May 9 2007 8:00P, Halfenclan Exil , Hamburg, Germany
- May 10 2007 8:00P, Maria , Berlin, Germany
- May 11 2007 8:00P, JZ Kamp , Bielefeld, Germany
- May 12 2007 8:00P, Studio 672 , Koln, Germany
- May 14 2007 8:00P, Paradiso (room 2) , Amsterdam
- May 15 2007 8:00P, AB , Brussels
- May 16 2007 8:00P, Scala (+ Clark) , London
- May 17 2007 8:00P, The Corporation (+ Clark) , Sheffield
- May 18 2007 8:00P, The Cooler , Bristol
- May 19 2007 8:00P, ATP Festival , minehead
- May 20 2007 8:00P, Stylus Uni (+ Clark & Beans) , Leeds
- May 22 2007 8:00P, Academy 2 , Manchester
- May 23 2007 8:00P, ABC 2 , Glasgrow
- May 24 2007 8:00P, The Barfly , Birmingham
- May 25 2007 8:00P, Birmingham , Dublin
- May 26 2007 8:00P, Maroquinerie , Paris
- May 27 2007 8:00P, Le Grand Mix , Roubaix, Lille
- May 30 2007 8:00P, MJC Oullins , Oullins
- Jun 1 2007 8:00P, Dissonanze Festival , Rome
Go, or punish yourself by not going. THE CHOICE IS YOURS!
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