Print Story Dentist Visit
Diary
By Pasofol (Wed Apr 18, 2007 at 12:19:08 PM EST) (all tags)
Read or don't up to you.
Just a normal diary from me I guess.


So had cleaning done, it's been two years since I last sat down in a dentists chair.  They've been calling me since the last visit and I always ignored them.  Called them scheduled an appointment under my own will, I really don't like people trying to manage my life and I always do what I feel needs to be done despite what other's think.  Felt it was time partly since I'm planning to quit my job and with that go the benefits. 

It was nice to see the receptionist again, she's a nice girl felt last time like she was interested in me and this time got non of that.  I did see an engagement ring maybe that has something do with it.  On the plus side the hygienist was a new girl.  I couldn't stand the previous one, the cleaning was terrible and she kept me choking on excess water plus complained when I swallowed.  This one was gentle and pleasant plus her hitting on me is always a good thing.  I would have liked to do the same but it's kind of hard when there's things in your mouth.  This would have to be the first time I had an erection at the dentist, I can't really help it when a girl rests her rack on my face(well head), alright?

Almost forgot about my teeth, considering it's been two years nothing has changed.  Same wisdom teeth have to be pulled, receding gum line need to brush different motion, and besides that nothing to be concerned about to my surprise.  Was preparing myself to all kinds of drilling for next appointment.



On another note, it seems I find myself back here.  Which isn't a good thing I'm afraid, and I see a pattern developing which I keep trying to break to no avail.  This seems to be the start of the cycle, and in the end nothing changes I just end up being totally messed up again.  I just wonder what it'll take to stop.



I'm becoming the kind of person I always hated.  I'm trying to find pleasure where I can, at times it might be in acts of desperation and I fear I'll end up going back into a slump that I've become too accustomed to by now.  Incidents that I would have preferred not to happen are occurring too often.  Getting drunk at bars or concerts hocking up with someone just to feel another body next to mine seems to be the only comfort that I can find.  But in the end it's not the face I want to see and find my body just simply shutting down as if it's gone into a cave dropped into fetal position to be left alone just to await death.  Last one was with a high school girl, in self defence (pathetic as it maybe) I was drunk plus on the verge of losing it and her initiated everything did distract my brain even if it was for a short bit.  I find myself looking back now trying to figure out how I got to this point.  But I guess there's little that I can do now but try to make things more positive if even possible.  I'm not filled with hate anymore but my nerves are still fucked up.  I've started smoking cigarettes among other things just trying to gain control in anyway I can over them.  The only person that seems to matter to me doesn't want anything to do with me and at times the thought is just emotionally crippling.  I doubt I have any right to try and change that, at the same time I don't know what to do with myself but to try.  Some hope is the only thing I have left, that something will change one day even if it's misguided and far from the truth.

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Dentist Visit | 13 comments (13 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
Busty hygienists + Novacaine = Massive Wood by ammoniacal (4.00 / 2) #1 Wed Apr 18, 2007 at 12:29:37 PM EST
I don't know why Novacaine does that. Maybe persimmon can explain the effect.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

She by Pasofol (2.00 / 0) #3 Wed Apr 18, 2007 at 01:54:28 PM EST
wasn't even busty.

[ Parent ]
That's what you get for socialized medicine by georgeha (2.00 / 0) #5 Wed Apr 18, 2007 at 02:59:00 PM EST
since we have to pay for dental work out of our insurance (or pockets), they only hire cute busty hygenists.


[ Parent ]
Like I said by Pasofol (2.00 / 0) #6 Wed Apr 18, 2007 at 03:25:42 PM EST
she wasn't busty, although nice.

[ Parent ]
Did she smell good? by ammoniacal (2.00 / 0) #7 Wed Apr 18, 2007 at 03:46:05 PM EST
Nothing like perfume in the intermammary sulcus.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

[ Parent ]
Didn't notice by Pasofol (4.00 / 1) #8 Wed Apr 18, 2007 at 03:48:50 PM EST
any smell good or bad.  Not sure if she can say the same about me though :-)

[ Parent ]
heh by yankeehack (4.00 / 1) #2 Wed Apr 18, 2007 at 01:51:44 PM EST
On another note, it seems I find myself back here.  Which isn't a good thing I'm afraid, and I see a pattern developing which I keep trying to break to no avail.  This seems to be the start of the cycle, and in the end nothing changes I just end up being totally messed up again.  I just wonder what it'll take to stop.

I'm becoming the kind of person I always hated.  I'm trying to find pleasure where I can, at times it might be in acts of desperation and I fear I'll end up going back into a slump that I've become too accustomed to by now.  Getting drunk at bars or concerts hocking up with someone just to feel another body next to mine seems to be the only comfort that I can find.  But in the end it's not the face I want to see and find my body just simply shutting down as if it's gone into a cave dropped into fetal position to be left alone just to await death....

I'll give you a 'me too' except that I don't hook up with girls in high school.
"...she dares to indulge in the secret sport. You can't be a MILF with the F, at least in part because the M is predicated upon it."-CBB

I'd like by Pasofol (2.00 / 0) #4 Wed Apr 18, 2007 at 02:15:19 PM EST
to give you some words of support and all that shit but it's not in me figure out what to say.

So, "take care buddy"

[ Parent ]
I see what the problem is ... by BlueOregon (2.00 / 0) #10 Wed Apr 18, 2007 at 07:01:49 PM EST

First you wonder, "Why can't I be totally, utterly amazed by someone?"

But then you admit, "I don't hook up with girls in high school."

There's your problem.

[ Parent ]
Hold up... by MohammedNiyalSayeed (4.00 / 1) #9 Wed Apr 18, 2007 at 04:02:21 PM EST

You mean there are doctors for teeth? This changes everything!

I do have some good news, though; that isolated, nervous, desparate feeling? Well, the desparation goes away, and isolation and tension become the very things you thrive on. In the mean time, you've started smoking, so at least you have that going for you.

Monk Life, Mr. P. Asofol. Monk Life. Kill your emotions, let your "soul" bleed to death, and then get on with the business of super-accomplishment in lieu of the delusion of "connectedness" or "love". Believe me, you're much better off with the cash in your pocket.


-
You can build the most elegant fountain in the world, but eventually a winged rat will be using it as a drinking bowl.
I second this motion by BlueOregon (4.00 / 2) #11 Wed Apr 18, 2007 at 07:03:44 PM EST

The monk life. Otherwise it always ends in tears.

And to get you acquainted with the Monk Life, you have to go watch the 162 minute "Into Great Silence" (all monks, all the time -- Monks Gone Wild™ and adorable cats).

[ Parent ]
Do monks by Pasofol (2.00 / 0) #12 Thu Apr 19, 2007 at 04:52:19 AM EST
drive motorcycles?

Having everything fly by is somewhat meditating in it's self.  Being close to the ground having your feet only couple inches away from the ground and the bike moving with your body you become one with world.  No windows to look through like a cager trapped inside instead you find yourself able to interact with the world that surrounds you.  Let it be the same comfort that you are fine with the world is what gets you in trouble, since the world that surrounds you is one of physical being and you are just made of skin and bones.  Too many close calls where an inch more I could be flying but off my bike into another car or anything else that's able to bring my momentum to a untimely stop.

[ Parent ]
Yes by georgeha (2.00 / 0) #13 Thu Apr 19, 2007 at 05:19:18 AM EST
the latest Cycle World has an article on a Japanese priest/monk who rides.


[ Parent ]
Dentist Visit | 13 comments (13 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback