I am a crime against humanity
Can I make a Maddox pact with you and for every animal you don't eat, I'll eat three? That means three beef super burritos I have to eat for lunch tomorrow. I hope you don't mind, as I don't mind you eating the vegetarian super burrito. I'll just exercise to burn off the extra fat by practicing my martial arts for three times as long as I usually do.
Oh, and a hemicolectomy doesn't exactly reduce the likelihood of bowel cancer. I know, because I went to a bowel cancer awareness gig by the Butthole Surfers where they mentioned it.