Print Story Lhusi March Report
By komet (Tue Mar 13, 2007 at 06:55:37 AM EST) lhusi (all tags)
London Husi Drinks, March 2007 - Final Report and Schedule of Findings

Includes Photographic Plates and Diagrams

komet, March 2007

As just about everyone here will know by now, some members of this here website met up for one or two beers in London on Friday.

Suffice it to say, it was slightly more eventful than an average evening down the pub. Here, Ladies and Gentlemen, is the full report.

I flew over the day before, on Thursday. On the flight, I had an aisle seat, and at one point the catering cart was parked immediately next to me and the flight attendants both went off to the galley to fetch something. Did I really have a choice at this point? I limited myself to stealing only 4 bottles of airline wine, so that wasn't too bad.

Went to the hostel and got a phone call from the Canadians (256, ni and misslake) inviting me to go drinking. I was of course happy to comply and met them at the absolutely crap pub at London Bridge Station, then on to their hostel bar, which was pretty good actually. I had an early night, mainly because I wanted to get the last tube service back to the hostel. As far as I can tell, this was the last sensible decision I made.

I spent most of Friday killing time first around Picadilly Circus and then at the various Camden markets, where I proved my uncoolness by managing to buy nothing at all. I did find a Somerfield's with a 2-for-1 Ginsters offer, which I took them up on. Then back to the hostel to meet gazbo, whom I recognised immediately from the famous photo [1] despite his having clothes on. We proceeded to the Anchor, where the fun started.

At this point, it gets a bit hazy. I think the following people were there when we arrived: Phage, Herring (who claimed he was Phage, though I saw through this dastardly deception), hulver, DrH0ffman, TheophileEscargot, jump the ladder and Vulch. During the evening we were joined by Dr Thrustgood, BadDoggie, misslake, ni, 256, TPD, ambrosen, breaker, motty, and some people's friends...

hulver smoked a pipe the whole time. It seemed somehow comfortably fitting for his role as leader of our ragtag band of ne'er-do-wells.

Plate I. Herring and Hulver. Note tobacco-smoking pipe.

At some point, 256 and ni decided they needed to go for a swim in the Thames. I'm not really familiar with the details, but the upshot of the thing was that 256 and ni transgressed a fence and at some point started fighting, ending in ni getting wet and wounded and 256 with mud all over himself, and misslake broke her shoe and would be dead if Vulch hadn't expertly caught her.

Dr Thrustgood, intending to have "one pint" in view of his driving test the next day, ended up having four pints. Misslake particularly enjoyed the pudding, and got the rest of us (all red-blooded males as we are) all hot and bothered with her spectacular plate-licking skills. Breaker got us a round of tequila shots. The salt came out of the shaker quite fast.

I didn't manage to start half the conversations with people that I wanted to. I suppose I will just have to go to the next LHusi drinks.

Plate II. ni, 256 and Dr Thrustgood

Plate III. misslake, Vulch, ni and gazbo

Plate IV. ni, 256, Dr Thrustgood and TPD

Plate V. misslake

After chucking-out time at 11pm (LOLWHAT!), breaker, gazbo, ni, misslake, 256, motty, ambrosen, hulver, BadDoggie and myself went to the Blue Maid and continued to drink a lot. I believe there was even dancing involved. After a few hours Hulver bought a round of champagne, but soon after that we started to get bored and left. misslake and ni retired to breaker's house, leaving the rest of us to fend for ourselves. BadDoggie suddenly got quite insistent on ingesting a massive amount of food, stealing my spare Ginsters and dragging us into a chippy, and could only be torn away from the shop after getting the exact details on Savloy. The six of us then managed to miss the only 6-seater cab in London and had to make do with two 5-seaters.

Now at this point, only gazbo and myself had checked into the hostel into a four-bed room, which we would obviously not all fit into. So we took the drunken executive decision to smuggle 256 in unpaid to sleep on the floor with ambrosen, hulver, gazbo and me, while BadDoggie got a separate room with, apparently, the roommates from hell within. I produced the Kirsch (cherry schnapps) and we continued with the drinking, managing to finish half the bottle. Quite suddenly, 256 passed out. We took this as the cue to go to sleep ourselves. We pushed him off hulver's bed onto the floor, which made an enormous thud but didn't wake him up. hulver shoved his pillow under 256's head, gazbo covered him with his towel and ambrosen bravely removed 256's shoes, in a quite tender fashion I thought. 256 was totally oblivious and slept on the hard floor into the morning. During the night, we all farted at each other. What better way to build trust?

Plate VI. 256 asleep at the hostel.

Incidentally, while many people mutter incoherently in their sleep, ambrosen trolls lucidly in his sleep.

Hulver and BadDoggie both left at the crack of dawn before anyone else was up. The rest of us were up around 9 and had a quick breakfast of cherry schnapps and toast (gazbo was quite skeptical about a new technology called the "toaster") before we decided to go to Breaker's flat. Ambrosen took charge of navigating the Underground. We went to London Bridge, and ambrosen confidently declared: "Breaker lives near Southwark station". So we took the tube to Southwark.

"Actually", he said while we were on the train, "we should have gone to Bermondsey. That's where he lives". Which was in the opposite direction. So we got out at Southwark and took the opposite train back.

"Come to think about it", ambrosen mused as we pulled into London Bridge again, "he does actually live closer to Southwark". So we got off and got on the now familiar tube to Southwark.

As the doors slid closed, he muttered, "I am such an idiot". That's right, he decided he was mistaken again and at Southwark we took the Tube back to London Bridge. We were pretty much pissing ourselves laughing at this point - we (well, mainly 256) had finished the remaining half-bottle of Kirsch. We decided to get out at London Bridge and walk to Breaker's. Of course, nobody knew the way except ambrosen, so we very reluctantly allowed him to lead us there. Amazingly, he actually went in the right direction and we soon arrived and woke up breaker and misslake and ni. breaker, who had been expecting me in the late afternoon, was a bit confused, but being the top bloke he is he immediately offered to take us out to a pub called the Hartley for a quick breakfast (though of course not before we had drunk some cognac in his house).

Diagram I. Optimal route to Breaker's residence as determined by A. M. Brosen

Well, the quick breakfast turned into a 10 hour pub crawl. We stayed at the Hartley for a good 2 or 3 hours. The breakfast was excellent and I enjoyed it very much. misslake particularly liked the pudding, and repeated the plate-licking show. Ambrosen had the presence of mind to secure video evidence [2]. But he got totally thrashed by 256 at Scrabble.

After a few drinks, we briefly moved on to a different pub where the bartender had no clue what a Bloody Mary is supposed to be like, then went on to the George, where gazbo suddenly remembered he knew someone in London called Duncan, who was forced out to drink with us. Dr Thrustgood, having driven across instead of around a roundabout (the clue's in the name, you know) and hence failed his driving test, also turned up, and we consumed more beer. 256 left for Oxford at some point.

ni mentioned that he wasn't quite familiar with the rules of Mornington Crescent, so breaker, gazbo and I played a standard game (1968 rules) to get him started. Living outside England, I had of course got quite rusty and was expecting to get a beating, so I was rather shocked when gazbo foolishly left his Central Line diagonals open, handing me a surprise win.

We must have stayed at the George for 4 or 5 hours; it started to get chilly so we moved inside and confirmed that one can, indeed, cover the rankest farts by lighting a match.

People started to get hungry, so breaker took us to an excellent Turkish restaurant. At this point I had a massive alcohol crash and basically stopped functioning properly. I was unable to eat my food. This was only about 8pm, but it felt for everyone more like 10pm. The wonders of all-day drinking. Breaker's WTB was invited to a barbeque party and we were all to come along, but misslake, ni and gazbo fell out of the game and turned in for the night, while Dr Thrustgood, Duncan, breaker and myself continued to the barbeque, where more beer was consumed. The house was full of people I've never met, which is something I don't generally function well in (especially not after having been drinking for 13 hours). So I was looking forward to a good night's sleep when breaker + WTB and I returned at about 1am.

I was asleep for about 10 minutes when WTB's Aussie hottie friends, Kacey and Jenna IIRC, showed up. One of them unwisely made a disparaging remark about Bovril, which immediately rose gazbo from his slumber. We then decided to have some red wine with them on breaker's rooftop lounge. They turned out to be charming girls and we spent a further 2 or 3 hours on the roof chatting with them (well, they kindly did 95% of the chatting, which we gladly permitted them to) - breaker joined us at some point after having gone out for a curry.

In the end, I think we finally slept at around 4 am. It was a brief affair though, as by 10 am we were already awake again, and soon found ourselves at the Hartley for more Bloody Marys, breakfast, plate-licking and Pimms. It was going-home day for gazbo and me, so we finally disbanded and said our farewells at around 1 pm. I still had to do some shopping for Ginsters.

Plate VII. breaker and gazbo

Plate VIII. breaker and gazbo again

Plate IX. misslake and ni refuse to open their eyes.

Unfortunately, I totally failed it. I ended up spending hours in Oxford Street buying cheap clothes and shoes. Then I walked to the end of Oxford Street, on the Hyde Park end, where I vaguely remember having been in a Tesco years ago. Well, there was no Tesco and I was beginning to get nervous. Where would I get my Ginsters? I remembered the 2-for-1 offer in Camden. So I took a tube there, only to find it shut and my flight just two hours away, and suddenly all those hundreds of corner shops flogging Ginsters simply disappeared and I couldn't find one to save my life.

I had to admit defeat, I'm afraid, and reluctantly took the DLR to LCY, arriving just 3 minutes before the check-in deadline. I do have a small selection of items from M&S, but it's not the same. What this means, of course, is that I will have to go back to London, or at least England, quite soon.

All in all, a highly successful and fucking expensive weekend. It was great to finally put faces to names, and to be around people who aren't Swiss. My English, I realised, has totally gone to shit and could do with more regular immersion.


AAA++++, would do again - after my liver and bank account have recovered.


[1] Reference photo of gazbo
[2] Video of misslake licking plate

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Lhusi March Report | 42 comments (42 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
Nice pix by Phage (4.00 / 1) #1 Tue Mar 13, 2007 at 07:21:44 AM EST
Must have had a proper camera.
Good write up though. Much appreciated.

Possibly by TheophileEscargot (4.00 / 1) #20 Tue Mar 13, 2007 at 09:15:17 AM EST
It is unlikely that the good of a snail should reside in its shell: so is it likely that the good of a man should?
[ Parent ]
Well played indeed by georgeha (4.00 / 1) #2 Tue Mar 13, 2007 at 07:27:25 AM EST
I find the 1968 rules more exciting than the 1983 revision, though devilishly hard to track down. I enjoy playing Mornington, but I'm much more of a Poisson D'Avril sort, instead.

I haven't decided by Herring (4.00 / 2) #3 Tue Mar 13, 2007 at 07:36:11 AM EST
if that photo is flattering or unflattering.

Note: in real life, I am also monochrome.

You can't inspire people with facts
- Small Gods

Both you and Thrusty by wiredog (4.00 / 1) #4 Tue Mar 13, 2007 at 07:43:56 AM EST
are blurry in real life as well.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

[ Parent ]
Whatever you say, by ni (4.00 / 1) #13 Tue Mar 13, 2007 at 08:43:00 AM EST

"Not of this world..." -- 256, on the subject of the New Jersey Turnpike
[ Parent ]
VS2FP by ana (4.00 / 1) #5 Tue Mar 13, 2007 at 07:53:15 AM EST
Most excellent pictures. I especially liked the tube narrative (complete with map).

Regular, or decaf abomination? --Kellnerin

I can vouch for the fact by gazbo (4.00 / 1) #7 Tue Mar 13, 2007 at 08:14:23 AM EST
That the tube narrative is in no way exaggerated.

I'm not sure it came across that the "I am such an idiot" was said while the doors were still roughly 6" open, just to really rub it in.

I recommend always assuming 7th normal form where items in a text column are not allowed to rhyme.

[ Parent ]
also by Merekat (4.00 / 1) #10 Tue Mar 13, 2007 at 08:26:07 AM EST
I thought Elephant and Castle was handier.

[ Parent ]
I have to admit by ambrosen (4.00 / 1) #12 Tue Mar 13, 2007 at 08:29:23 AM EST
that it is utterly correct.

For reference, TfL says it's 41 minute's walk from Southwark, 25 from London Bridge and 26 from Bermondsey.

[ Parent ]
Also for reference by Driusan (4.00 / 1) #14 Tue Mar 13, 2007 at 08:44:29 AM EST
The first time I went there, this was Dr. Iusan's route:


I see no problems with A.M. Brosen's optimal route.

Vive le Montréal libre.

[ Parent ]
Judging from those arrows you drew by wiredog (4.00 / 2) #19 Tue Mar 13, 2007 at 09:06:35 AM EST
you're still drunk.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

[ Parent ]
VS2FP by toxicfur (4.00 / 1) #6 Tue Mar 13, 2007 at 07:53:30 AM EST
Excellent write up and photos. It makes me bummed that I couldn't be there.
inspiritation: the effect of irritating someone so much it inspires them to do something about it. --BuggEye
Excellet by Bob Abooey (4.00 / 2) #8 Tue Mar 13, 2007 at 08:18:33 AM EST
Few thoughts:
  1. Doesn't Hulver look like he should be on the picture of some kind of throat lozenge product?
  2. Misslake is faaaar too cute to be hanging about with that crowd.
  3. I thought I had more thoughts, I guess not.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

How's my blogging: Call me at 209.867.5309 to complain.

Your English.. by Driusan (4.00 / 2) #9 Tue Mar 13, 2007 at 08:23:27 AM EST perfectly cromulent. You're much easier to understand than those Brits with their crazy thick accents and their bizarre idioms like "be a dear, love" and "what the fuck are you doing here? It's two in the bloody morning."

I mean, who taught them to speak English, anyways? It's like they never had a TV when they were a kid to learn em the right enunciations and wordage.

Vive le Montréal libre.

Yes, but by komet (2.00 / 0) #11 Tue Mar 13, 2007 at 08:29:17 AM EST
I should at least be able to sound like a council-house dweller when I choose to. I could do it when I was young.

<ni> komet: You are functionally illiterate as regards trashy erotica.
[ Parent ]
you're croatian? by Dr H0ffm4n (2.00 / 0) #42 Mon Apr 16, 2007 at 09:45:42 AM EST

[ Parent ]
Nice photos by cam (4.00 / 1) #15 Tue Mar 13, 2007 at 08:45:54 AM EST
The pics of breaker and gazbo were the stand outs.

Freedom, liberty, equity and an Australian Republic

breaker's is my fav by komet (4.00 / 1) #18 Tue Mar 13, 2007 at 08:57:16 AM EST
You don't get this with digital "photography", but sometimes as you press the shutter release, a feeling comes over you that the photo will be good. (It also makes you remember the exposure details: this one was 1/30s at f/4.0) That's what happened with this one, and it motivated me to take a bit of care developing the film.

<ni> komet: You are functionally illiterate as regards trashy erotica.
[ Parent ]
Addenda and errata: by ambrosen (4.00 / 2) #16 Tue Mar 13, 2007 at 08:51:03 AM EST
I can't believe how bad that hostel room smelt in the morning. In many ways, BadDoggie got the best of it, especially as gazbo sucked his cock as compensation for their being no room in the dorm.

I was definitely thrashed by 256 at Scrabble, but I'd say I did play a decent game (even if I did insist, somewhat cheatingly, that yt be accepted because I normally play using the Shorter OED as arbiter, not the (Collins) Scrabble dictionary), and it may have been a little closer had I got any of the blanks or 8 or 10 point tiles.

The Fat Duck is in Berkshire, not Beds. I think Breaker and gazbo were thinking of Le Manoir au Quat' Saisons.

misslake diving into every hedge possible in search of hedgehogs was unbelievably funny, as was her collapsing in a heap of laughter in the middle of the street on hearing of St. Tiggywinkle's hospital for hedgehogs (and other wildlife), which is, contrary to what we said, decidedly convenient for a visit from London, in Buckinghamshire.

My liver didn't suffer per se, but, given that I didn't drink at all on Saturday, it is somewhat shocking that I still felt too pissed to drive on Saturday evening. (I went out to see this, which deserves a diary in itself. Playing at the Albany in London tonight, and Fareham and Oxford at the weekend)

Bloody hell by komet (2.00 / 0) #17 Tue Mar 13, 2007 at 08:54:22 AM EST
how the hell did I manage to forget about misslake and St. Tiggywinkle's? That was epically funny.

<ni> komet: You are functionally illiterate as regards trashy erotica.
[ Parent ]
Ghey secks? I was deprived! by BadDoggie (4.00 / 2) #22 Tue Mar 13, 2007 at 09:30:14 AM EST
I was also deprived of additional booze I really didn't need as well as the chance to make an even bigger ass of myself.

And I think the Portuguese/Brazilian couple in my room relieved me of a £50, but maybe the guy with the sausages-with-no-actual-meat only gave me change for a fiver.


OMG WE'RE FUCKED! -- duxup ?

[ Parent ]
BWAHAHAHAHAH by littlestar (4.00 / 1) #35 Thu Mar 15, 2007 at 04:40:23 AM EST
St. TIGGYWINKLE... for hedgehogs!!! That is the cutest thing I have ever heard in my life. Seriously.

[ Parent ]
Moo! by Dr Thrustgood (4.00 / 2) #21 Tue Mar 13, 2007 at 09:23:41 AM EST
Good to meet everyone, good fun all in all, even if I really don't have any idea what happened to me on Saturday night. No bruises, so result on that.

I do wish plate IV didn't make me look like such a freak. Alas.

+1 FP by MillMan (4.00 / 3) #23 Tue Mar 13, 2007 at 09:48:27 AM EST
also odd to see photos of gazbo with his clothes on.

When I'm imprisoned as an enemy combatant, will you blog about it?

Yeah! +1 FP by spacejack (4.00 / 2) #24 Tue Mar 13, 2007 at 10:00:02 AM EST
The definitive account! Great writeup, photos.

+1FP by ammoniacal (4.00 / 5) #25 Tue Mar 13, 2007 at 10:20:02 AM EST
B&W makes everyone look cool.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

Awesome writeup by hulver (4.00 / 2) #26 Tue Mar 13, 2007 at 10:47:50 AM EST
Thanks. Nice to see the pictures from your camera as well.
Cheese is not a hat. - clock
ObGlobalWarmingIsAMythPost by aphrael (4.00 / 1) #27 Tue Mar 13, 2007 at 12:38:22 PM EST

If television is a babysitter, the internet is a drunk librarian who won't shut up.
Big oil apologist by komet (2.00 / 0) #28 Tue Mar 13, 2007 at 12:43:03 PM EST
Kids in Africa have nothing to eat.

<ni> komet: You are functionally illiterate as regards trashy erotica.
[ Parent ]
that's because by aphrael (4.00 / 1) #31 Tue Mar 13, 2007 at 09:15:52 PM EST
Silly person, you. by johnny (4.00 / 1) #39 Thu Mar 15, 2007 at 04:14:07 PM EST
i showed nick the hulver pic by LilFlightTest (4.00 / 2) #29 Tue Mar 13, 2007 at 03:46:47 PM EST
he asked where the monacle is.
Dance On, Gir!
I stole it by iGrrrl (4.00 / 1) #33 Wed Mar 14, 2007 at 04:52:53 PM EST
I'm the one with the patrician eyewear and nautical leanings in this crowd.

"Beautiful wine, talking of scattered everythings"
(and thanks to Scrymarch)

[ Parent ]
don't lean too far by LilFlightTest (4.00 / 1) #34 Wed Mar 14, 2007 at 06:28:21 PM EST
you might fall in.

i'm sorry. that was terrible. i blame the lack of sleep, and stress. oh, and it's my nature.
Dance On, Gir!

[ Parent ]
MJ did fall in by iGrrrl (4.00 / 1) #37 Thu Mar 15, 2007 at 09:06:35 AM EST
I'm sure I told the story about how MJ was told not to lean too far over the gunwhales of the dinghy, and he did, and he fell in (wearing life jacket). After rescue, this was the conversation:

"Why I soaking wet?"
"Because you fell in the water."
"Why I fall in the water?"
"Because you leaned too far over the gunwhales."
"Why I do that?"
"Because you didn't mind your Papa."
"Why I not mind Papa?"
"I don't know, MJ."
"Why I soaking wet?"

...and so it went, over and over, all the way back to the dock.

"Beautiful wine, talking of scattered everythings"
(and thanks to Scrymarch)

[ Parent ]
There's a hole in my bucket by johnny (4.00 / 2) #40 Thu Mar 15, 2007 at 04:29:03 PM EST
dear Liza, dear Liza. . .

(please respond if you don't know the song. . . lyrics that should be known by all . . .)

Also: I enjoyed sailing with you and your husband, but mostly it was mj and little bit that made the whole experience so memorable.  Why, that was quite fun, wasn't it! Let's do it again.
... this is dreamworld after all... it isn't? Shit.

[ Parent ]
That song by iGrrrl (4.00 / 3) #41 Fri Mar 16, 2007 at 04:17:04 AM EST
I hated that sone. In 3rd grade we had to sing it with the boys standing for Georgie's verses, and the girls standing for Lizas.

Yes, let's sail again.  We should probably start the varnishing process as soon as it warms up.

"Beautiful wine, talking of scattered everythings"
(and thanks to Scrymarch)

[ Parent ]
So by dev trash (4.00 / 1) #30 Tue Mar 13, 2007 at 04:27:52 PM EST
The film survived the plane trip.

awesome by R343L (4.00 / 2) #32 Tue Mar 13, 2007 at 10:53:42 PM EST
And also, holy hell you guys drank a lot. Kirsch at 9AM?!?!

Of course, it sounded like fun. Plus like, wow, hotties on a geeky website? Hmmm...

"There will be time, there will be time / To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet." -- Eliot

Excellently excellent! by littlestar (4.00 / 1) #36 Thu Mar 15, 2007 at 04:45:22 AM EST
I feel like I was there!! I giggled through the whole thing.

I hope that one day CBB and I will be able to join you guys for drinks there; sounds like a blast. I loved the pictures and extra media footage... I hadn't seen the picture of gazbo before... how very, interesting.

Thanks so much for doing such a great write up!!

Nice photos! n/t by duxup (4.00 / 1) #38 Thu Mar 15, 2007 at 11:04:01 AM EST

Lhusi March Report | 42 comments (42 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback