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Diary
By 2 plus 3 equals 5 (Thu Feb 01, 2007 at 03:27:19 AM EST) (all tags)
Or, how wikipedia jumpstarted a meh short story.


I am humor-impaired, in terms of jokes and set-ups, and conscious puns; thus, I turned to wikipedia, Google, and other such sites to find a pun to put into the WFC.  On one such site they had the knock-knock joke:

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Eskimo Christian Italian
Eskimo Christian Italian, who?
Eskimo Christian Italian no lies.
(Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies.)

There you have it, the unacknowledged pun.  Everything else was accidental, came with the writing, and for the record, aethucyn, Jude really is 3/4 Alaskan Native American, 1/4 Italian. (I agree that Brianna's reaction wasn't right, but I wrote the thing in less than an hour and didn't edit it. It went someplace different than I thought.) Also for the record, I agree with fleece that the story is "okay."  For the most part it is as Kellnerin observed, merely good banter.

toxicfur noted that it seemed like part of something longer. I noted in the beginning that the word count was tough for me to make, so you got only gravy instead of meat as well.  Blue Oregon said it contains a tell or two, but I have no idea what that means, other than they told a couple of jokes.

persimmon decided it was not a story about food, but about bad jokes.  The entire story is a bad joke that I gave away in my commentary.

They're chewing the fat.

< Grrr. | BBC White season: 'Rivers of Blood' >
Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies | 7 comments (7 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
a tell or two ... by BlueOregon (2.00 / 0) #1 Thu Feb 01, 2007 at 09:19:49 AM EST

... and I'll tell you no lies.

There were a few elements (would have to go back and re-read to know exactly) that made me think, "Ah-ha! I know who the author is ..."

I was wrong.

okay. by 2 plus 3 equals 5 (2.00 / 0) #3 Thu Feb 01, 2007 at 04:16:12 PM EST
You were wrong.  Debacle was wrong on my first story.  Who did you think it was, or dare you not insult them.

-- Do the math.
[ Parent ]
thought ... by BlueOregon (2.00 / 0) #5 Thu Feb 01, 2007 at 04:40:12 PM EST

... it might have been ana.

Why? you ask ...

  • Religion discussion
  • The banter
  • The lightbulb joke (a favorite of several Bostonians, it seems -- see the reviews -- so I figured one them might have penned it, as a second entry)
  • The style did not feel at all like your WFC-winner


[ Parent ]
it's true ... by Kellnerin (2.00 / 0) #6 Thu Feb 01, 2007 at 05:55:47 PM EST
ana was the first one who told me that version of the lightbulb joke.

--
"If a tree is impetuous in the woods, does it make a sound?" -- aethucyn
[ Parent ]
style by 2 plus 3 equals 5 (2.00 / 0) #7 Fri Feb 02, 2007 at 03:11:49 AM EST
It was thoughtless and pounded out in short order.  It might sound more like me if I went back and edited it, but I'm not sure I could make it better.  Kellnerin spotted that it had the fatal flaw of not being a story, but a thing resembling a story to use a bad pun that no one caught.  The religion thing was to deal with the Christian in the pun, and only there for that reason. 


-- Do the math.
[ Parent ]
I apologize by Kellnerin (2.00 / 0) #2 Thu Feb 01, 2007 at 10:59:26 AM EST
for the bizarre constraints of the WFC, especially since you set up WFC4 so well. Still, part of me feels better that someone whose stories I've liked in the past fell into the same trap that I did, that of building a story around a pun instead of, well, a story.

The way Jude tells Brianna the lightbulb joke is exactly the way it was told to me, including my having heard it the way Brianna knew it, first. His version is better.

I did sort of guess it might be yours, though I was uncertain whether you'd actually entered or not. Anyway, onward to WFC6 ...

--
"If a tree is impetuous in the woods, does it make a sound?" -- aethucyn

The lightbulb joke by 2 plus 3 equals 5 (2.00 / 0) #4 Thu Feb 01, 2007 at 04:17:44 PM EST
I thought that was the standard telling, complete with wrong answer set-up.

If it's 85% dialog, it's probably me.

-- Do the math.

[ Parent ]
Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies | 7 comments (7 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback