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By ReallyEvilCanine (Fri Dec 07, 2007 at 04:39:10 AM EST) A Day in the Life, WTF, networking, fuckwits, pie (all tags)
Creation 'Science'

Over at Whateveresque there's a LOLCreashun thread with LOLcats-style TOAP on John Scalzi's Creationist Museum photos. While some of them are pretty good, one particular picture stands out. User "saswann" summed up my daily life.

In other news: if I catch the person who keeps throwing away my jars of mustard and mayo he's going to find out about Survival of the Evilist when I go all Darwin on his ass.

Poll: How many active boxen do you have?

x-posted to da brog, sans poll.

A particular ticket has been dragging on for months. Thanks to a number of my absences Mini-Me's been in on the action. Their claim is that $OurBigApp doesn't work. There are "communication problems" and user sessions constantly die, resulting in lost work and much logging in again and again. For five months they've displayed a level of incompetence on par with that of FEMA during a CAT-5 hurricane.

We again were forced to participate in a Web and phone conference. They again tried to first connect via Citrix. I again told them to cut it out. They again tried to connect via terminal services. I again told them to cut it out. They again were unable to reproduce the problem.

As four different "admins" in three different locations -- none of whom knew what the other was doing or had done -- struggled to get a machine up and connected, I directed a question at the lead "admin". The words came out before the brain could stop them: "So this issue that we've been working on is about 'connectivity problems'... which you've been continually unable to demonstrate to us in conferences you've demanded we hold because of... your own internal connectivity problems, right?"

"Yes. I mean, no! I mean, not as such. We're trying to demonstrate this for you now."
"You're trying to demonstrate connectivity problems but you can't because you're having connectivity problems."
"You don't understand what the problem is."

Yes I do, Sparky. I showed you back in July that your traceroutes demonstrated the problem quite clearly. I told you back then that when 60% of your internal network pings fail, your network sucks and it rather than $OurBigApp is the source of your trouble. You refuse to accept this fact. If our app can't communicate with the server, it hangs and dies. This should not be a surprise, especially to someone who works as a system administrator for one of the world's top-ten telecomms providers.

Logic: you`re doing it wrong

There's another conference next week. Mini-Me and I are intent on closing this ticket with a Root Cause: 17-Fuckwit within an hour of hanging up on them.

< Zzzzzz | BBC White season: 'Rivers of Blood' >
A Day in the Life | 10 comments (10 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
'...someone who works as a system administrator... by greyrat (2.00 / 0) #1 Fri Dec 07, 2007 at 04:54:42 AM EST
...for one of the world's top-ten telecomm providers'


And yes, I'm running five boxen at home. Seven when teh wife and I curl up in front of the TV with our work laptops in the evening.

Damn, 60%? by jayhawk88 (2.00 / 0) #2 Fri Dec 07, 2007 at 04:55:05 AM EST
How the hell are they even able to log into their computers in the morning?

Windows caches users & passes by ReallyEvilCanine (2.00 / 0) #3 Fri Dec 07, 2007 at 04:59:26 AM EST
It'll let you log in locally if you've previously logged in on that box, or it'll hang until it times out or finally gets to the server. The credentials handshake is pretty small.

the internet: amplifier of stupidity -- discordia

[ Parent ]
Oh I know by jayhawk88 (2.00 / 0) #5 Fri Dec 07, 2007 at 05:18:04 AM EST
Just being flippant. Still can't imagine how you can have that level of networking issues and not just be a total cluster.

[ Parent ]
O, nd thx fr duh LOLCreashun thread. by greyrat (2.00 / 0) #4 Fri Dec 07, 2007 at 05:01:10 AM EST
I haz laf so hard, mai pants iz wet. Also peeplz n uddr cubz iz stair-in...

mystery of the service provider environment by Merekat (4.00 / 1) #6 Fri Dec 07, 2007 at 05:33:48 AM EST
Frequently the customers get steak and the internal services get dogfood. Or if not steak, at least a decent enough kebab.

The saswann image won't load by Phage (2.00 / 0) #7 Fri Dec 07, 2007 at 05:50:16 AM EST
Can someone please post ? Ta.

FEMA is on CAT-5 ? by sasquatchan (2.00 / 0) #8 Fri Dec 07, 2007 at 06:07:03 AM EST
I mean, duh, that's their problem. They should either move to 5e, or at least CAT-6, get the full gigabit outta their network.

WIPO: I'm not sure. by ucblockhead (2.00 / 0) #9 Fri Dec 07, 2007 at 07:00:06 AM EST
I don't know how to count boxen.

I've got my main server and my work laptop. Not sure if the latter counts. Then there's my wife's MacBook that last night decided it wanted to boot to a terminal screen (probably because the FoML knocked it off a table a couple days ago.) Then there's the old iBook that is in theory the FoML's, though it only gets used every now and again. There's the Windows box which hasn't been on in two months, but which I've long intend to get working properly "tomorrow". There's the NAS, which one could easily argue actually is a computer as it runs linux. Finally, there's the Playstation 3, which has more computing power than any of the boxes I just listed.

So depending on how you count, it could be anywhere from 1 to 7.
[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman

Say wait a minute by Linus Trollvalds (2.00 / 0) #10 Fri Dec 07, 2007 at 02:03:26 PM EST
if 60% of their traceroutes drop, shouldn't they also have connectivity problems with other applications as well?

Don't they have a system administrator that knows how to check for network problems? You know with a network sniffer gizmo or something? Could it be that they don't want to check for network problems because they are trying to cover up their asses for having 60% of the network cables being connected incorrectly?

Let me tell you from experience how it goes:

#1 Employee tries to run $OurBigApp and it does not connect to the server. Calls the help desk.

#2 Help desk answers, asks questions from a script and wastes a lot of time checking system settings, etc. The script does not have an answer so they babysit the Employee for a while and create a trouble ticket and mark it as a "software error" and not a "network error" because they really don't know the difference between them. After all when an Employee gets a "File FUTZ1234.DLL is missing or invalid" it is an obvious system problem that a technician should handle and check the FUTZ1234.DLL file, but the help desk doesn't know their ass from their head and write it up as a "software error" anyway. Basically no critical thinking here at all, everything is a software error and woe be to the programmer when that happens.

#3 Help desk writes a "please assist" form email to the programmer.

#4 Programmer gets email, writes back that it is a "network error" and 60% of the traceroutes fail as well.

#5 Help desk writes to system administrator, who covered his ass and blames the software and blows off the whole trouble so he can surf the web.

#6 Help desk writes a "please assist" to the programmer, who forwards it to a manager that it is a "network problem" and the system administrator isn't doing his job.

#7 manager writes back to programmer that it is a "communication issue" with the programmer and just fix the software. Then the manager goes to check her stock portfolio on the Internet.

Now you have to play "Sherlock Holmes" and solve the mystery. Gather up evidence that proves 100% that it is indeed, yes, a fact, that the network has connection problems, and by process of elimination it cannot be the software, but the network who done it!

A Day in the Life | 10 comments (10 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback